Two Great guy only 1 me

[Natasha3]

Hello all, I've never done this before but I need advice badly. Ok here's the sitch.
I'm in an almost perfect relationship. My BF and I have been dating for almost 3 years. I only have 1 problem, I have a friend (he lives in the UK).Me and him have this crazy amazing chemistry. He broke up with his fiance a few moths ago and now were talking more and more and he might come to see me in a couple of months and I'm really scared that Im gonna fall for him. He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER. Well he's finally single and he really wants to be with me. What I'm getting to is that I want to see where this could go with him but I'm afraid to leave my BF because what if things don't work out and I give up a really great guy who adores me. My BF is the practical choice to be with, but the UK guy is someone I've wanted for about 15yrs. What do I do???? Please help me!!!! THANKS!!!!

[t0ri]

You must not be completely satisfied with your "practical choice" boyfriend if you're thinking about being with someone else. It's messed up towards your boyfriend for you to be thinking of him as just an option after 3 years, and considering other ones as well.

How would you feel if your boyfriend felt like you do? Would you want him to stick with you because it's practical, easy, and comfortable while he's thinking of the great chemistry and possibilities he has with another woman?

What if you're just a rebound to this friend? He did just get out of a relationship.

I say, either stop talking to this friend, because it's only doing harm than good for your relationship with your boyfriend. Or, dump your boyfriend for the friend and let your boyfriend find someone who is completely satisfied with him alone. The second option is probably best.

[alovehangoverr]

.. Have you ever even met this other guy?

[SexySam]

wow.. i bet if you think you already know what you need to do.. your present boyfriend does not really seem to be someone that you are committed to 100% because if he was, you would not even be thinking about this other guy in the context that you are..
so, be an adult, tell your boyfriend that you would like to see other people and make sure he understands that, and when the other guy comes, you are not doing anything wrong when you go out with your UK guy.

[1sxybtch]

you need to decide what you're looking for and whether your current bf fits the bill. there are always going to be new and interesting people that come into your life. is the UK guy just one of those temptations (in which case, you need to stop engaging with him and remove the temptation) or is he really the one you want to be with?

it sounds like your current bf might be a great guy but just not a great guy for you... either way, you should have enough respect for him to be upfront about it.

[Mish]

He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER.

There are lots of others things you could regret FOREVER as well

[hohol]

girls like you are the basic cause of the theory "don't ever get too attached to a girl , she'll dump you for someone eventually " well it isn't that bad since it's only a bf but i wonder if you've taken your bf feelings into count

[Sylbra]

No matter how great or hot or good looking a guy is, he can be a total a-hole, don't forget that. You never know what bad habits he may have or how difficult he is to live with. Certain things like that can make a really hot attraction lose heat fast. I know. I had this hot guy living with me for a month (as a friend only-I was helping him out) --- and egads after living with the guy for a month I couldn't stand him!!! And I found him very UNattractive after that.

[IndiReloaded]

I've decided that men are better at closing 'mental doors' than women are.

Anyway, date them both. You know you'll love the extra attention. Don't tell. If either finds out, just pick the one that suits you best. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll find a way to weasel yourself back into his life.

[Cain]

There's nothing wrong with you wanting to see what will happen with the UK guy. But you need to break up with your bf before he visits and if it doesn't work out with UK guy, under no circumstances should you go back to your bf. He is not your fallback option. If he isn't good enough for you right now, why should he be good enough later when your first option doesn't work out?

[carl1222]

I've decided that men are better at closing 'mental doors' than women are.

Anyway, date them both. You know you'll love the extra attention. Don't tell. If either finds out, just pick the one that suits you best. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll find a way to weasel yourself back into his life.

Indi, I can't believe you are advising her to cheat on her boyfriend!!!

What Cain said ... word for word. No, wait ... I would change one thing:

Since you aren't good enough for him right now, why would you be good enough later when your first option doesn't work out?

Carl.

[IndiReloaded]

Why not? Isn't that what she is proposing to do anyway?

[Henry123]

Ever heard of polyandry?

[IndiReloaded]

Its apparently quite rare, historically. There are a few female leaders who managed to pull it off, tho.

[carl1222]

Why not? Isn't that what she is proposing to do anyway?

Of course it is, but unless you were being sarcastic (it's not obvious from your post), it seems like you are telling her it's a good idea to do it.

(Polyandry is) apparently quite rare, historically.

But not prehistorically. Human testicles are disproportionately large compared to many other primates suggesting that at some point in our history, natural selection was accomplished on a wide scale by sperm competition (polyandry).

Carl.