Annoyed that my boyfriend's sister went back to her abusive boyfriend...

[cewzp4]

My boyfriend's sister was dating this guy last year who used to beat the sh*t out of her. He threatened her many times, and the last time put a gun to her head and told her he wasn't above pulling the trigger. After this incident, she brought charges against him at her university. He was expelled (he was planning on being a doctor... scary). She then transferred to our university to escape him because he and his family threatened her many times. Everyone thought that this was over and that she was healing.

Today is her birthday, and I got her a present. She stopped by to pick it up at my apartment. He was with her. She knows that I know who he is, and about the whole situation, but she told me she was with him anyway. Then she begged me not to tell her brother (my boyfriend).

I told him (of course). Apparently his mom decided to check Karen (the sister)'s phone bill, and the abusive boyfriend's number is all over it. She has been contacting him for a while now.

I'm just so frustrated. Karen is such a beautiful, intelligent person. This guy is such a loser. I don't know what she is thinking. I'm really afraid for her safety.

[Illusional]

unfortunately these people never learn.

raverboy

[Petit Papillon]

Unfortunately such people will never learn if other people will teach them... They have to fall to the bottom ,to see they are licking the shit...

I have similar situation with my sister...Tho her husband isn't abusive but I see she's changing... We are all catholics and her husband is muslim from Algeria... Tho she didn't change the religion,YET, she starts to act like her husband. She doesn't drink anymore (before she wasn't an alcoholic but now she looks at us like we are alcoholics,even if we drink on family meeting and occasions where it's NORMAL - we are polish) ... She stopped to eat ANYTHING what has even 1 gramm of pork meat... Last time we were eating lunch together and on the table were haallaal( or I don't know the name of this) chicken and normal pork steaks.Of course she was eating this chicken but she said to me "I wish I would eat this steak..." Her husband didn't understand it cause he doesn't speak polish... I'm worried. I don't have nothing against their religion,untill it changes or does harm to my family... Cause I see she's unhappy. But of course she won't tell nothing .And we as a family also can't check how she is all the time cause she lives at the other end of poland... It's pretty difficult situation...

[lesa]

Until there is a turning point for her, she will continue in that cycle unfortunately.

[cewzp4]

Until there is a turning point for her, she will continue in that cycle unfortunately.

I know. We all figured that the gun threat and moving away from him was that turning point. I just worry about her. Over the last 4 years I have been dating her brother, she has become a friend of mine. It makes me so sad to see her throw her life away on this loser.

[Junket]

As long as she chooses to be with this boy she deserves to be unhappy.

[cewzp4]

As long as she chooses to be with this boy she deserves to be unhappy.

Its not that I am worried about her being happy. I'm more worried about him killing her or hurting her severely.

[Junket]

Its not that I am worried about her being happy. I'm more worried about him killing her or hurting her severely.

There's nothing you can do besides wait until he does something drastic again and call the cops on him.

She's an idiot, but she's also an adult.

That's just the way things are.

[Lonely Island]

What a dumbass

I cant stand people like that

[Petit Papillon]

Hmm maybe take her and him to Steve Wilkos show Untill it's true what they do ,he can make him feel like shit for a moment

[lesa]

Yeah, get them both together (or just him) and have a comic moment about sleezy dudes that beat up on their girlfriends. Everytime you see him/them make jokes about pathetic men that are abusive to girlfriends. Make him feel horrible until she develops a backbone or comes to her senses.

[Mish]

I'm just so frustrated. Karen is such a beautiful, intelligent person. This guy is such a loser. I don't know what she is thinking. I'm really afraid for her safety.

I think that cancels out the "intelligent" part

[bluesummer]

I think she means book smart, Mish.

Anyways, there's really nothing you can do. The sad part is, people have to have had enough, they have to WANT to let go before they can. I would've thought putting a gun to her head would be enough, but apparently she needs more. I'm scared to think what it needs to come to to get her to leave. Unfortunately she's a big girl and she's made up her mind. You can't convince her to leave until she wants to, and you can't have anyone intervene if she's not willing to cut him out of her life, it's useless.

Part of her personality is extremely weak to be putting up with this, and he is feeding off it. That's why he comes back. It's not love, it's the feeling of power he gets from it. Really, I'm shocked you dodn't say something to the guy, because I sure would've. I would've asked him how the had the balls to show up at my house.

God, imagine the beating she must've got for pressing charges against him and having him expelled. ::shudder::

[Aeradalia]

People commit suicide for different reasons... sometimes they feel unwanted, or they don't know how to cope with life's problems... or it may simply be a chemical imbalance.

People commit suicide in different ways... some use knives or guns, others use drugs, and then you have those who use abusive boyfriends --- perhaps one of the slowest methods of suicide.

Other than changing tactics and treating this as a suicide attempt... there isn't much else you can do.

[Mish]

He must have complete control over her, like heroin