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Thread: help with this scenario

  1. #1
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    help with this scenario

    My girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. I've given her space, no calls or emails. We go to the same gym and when we see each other I always smile, say hi and leave it at that. Last night, I saw her at the bar and again, smile and hello. She was with a group of friends and so was I. I work with a lot of women so I was in a crowd of about 4 women and one other guy. She knew where I was standing and her group of friends stood close and my friends, her friends, her and I were looking at each other a lot. I was acting cool and joking/talking but it was killing me inside seeing her. She started talking to this guy who didn't really look her type and then they danced and then I could see him putting her number in his cell. This was killing me but I played, or tried to play cool. My friends were telling me she keeps looking over here. They told me to stop looking at her too. Finally a friend of mine called her over and she put her hands on my waist. I told her I hoped she would have a good night, that she looked beautiful (she did) and she kept looking at me sad. I told her I was giving her space but had things to say. We were getting kicked out of the bar (closing time). She was almost in tears and told me she knew this was breaking my heart. I told her I didn't want to make her uncomfortable and she left with her girlfriend. Should I call and aplogize? Was she trying to make me jealous or really moving on?

  2. #2
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    It depends on what you want to do and the circumstances of your break-up and whether reconciling is an option.

    I am in the strong belief that to truly get over someone, you need to have virtually no contact with them for some time...no seeing each other, limit phone/e-mail convos. Find some closure beforehand

    It's going to be tough but you need to find out whether your romance life is better with this person in it or without it.

  3. #3
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    Apologize for what?
    It doesn't sound like she was trying to make you jealous to me, but she sure wasn't being very considerate.

  4. #4
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    I felt it was inconsiderate, out of character and like I said, didn't look like her type at all...like she went for the first guy in the bar to give her attention. Our break up was mutual at first, no emotions and then I broke down when I realized how much I missed her. Unfortunately, I didn't know how much I loved her until she was gone. I wrote a letter about changes I needed to make and gave her a CD with John Lennon's "Woman" on it. The lyrics were exactly what I wanted to say. She said who knows, maybe in a year we'll get back and she wanted to see changes, I could show her as a friend..I became needy and insecure...totally not like me and can see now my mistakes. I got counselling, did some soul searching and will never do the same. I have "Magic of Making Up" as a guide to follow to win her back. I really want her back in my life. Anyway, I'll keep giving the space. I just felt bad that she was put in an uncomfortable spot when my friend called her over. I wasn't going to apologize but just say it was unfortunate and not my doing.

  5. #5
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    Shes giving another guy her phone number and you think you should apologize? Like damn 2008 said the best thing for you to do is not have ANY contact with her.

  6. #6
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    turns out my friend who stayed later at the bar said they left together...there's just a little more insult to injury. Still in my mixed up state I think she just had a rebound...though there's some respect lost there especially since it was in my company. An honest answer here, would a woman not feel like crap picking up a guy in front of her ex boyfriend then leaving the bar with him...spiteful maybe but deep down, in some time, is she not going to feel like crap.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by sootie View Post
    turns out my friend who stayed later at the bar said they left together...there's just a little more insult to injury. Still in my mixed up state I think she just had a rebound...though there's some respect lost there especially since it was in my company. An honest answer here, would a woman not feel like crap picking up a guy in front of her ex boyfriend then leaving the bar with him...spiteful maybe but deep down, in some time, is she not going to feel like crap.
    wow YOUR friend left with her last night. that some friend you have there. (assuming that your friend was a rebound)

  8. #8
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    No, my friend saw her leave with the guy she was talking too. But I don't get it. She sees it bothers me, almost crying that she knows it will break my heart..does the phone number thing in front of me. When she leaves me crying that she knows it's breaking my heart she runs back to that same guy..I saw her when I left the bar. So??? She wasn't making me jealous cause she ran right back to him and after I left, left with him. What is she doing? The guy does not look her type and she did the picking up so deliberately in front of me...rebound? She looked a little under the influence...it was out of character and the lowest blow I could take.

  9. #9
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    but I'm not going to phone, email or anything...just giving space and thinking about me and moving on.

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