cut contact with ex-gf... what do ya'll think?

[925esahc]

Hello, I would like to know how females would interpret the last email I will ever send to my ex-gf....

QUICK BACKGROUND... im 23 shes 20. Dated for 3 and a half years. She broke it off with me after a lie (there are other factors I know). I tried desperatly to get back with her for the past 2 months since the breakup. She told me she doesnt want to get back but wanted to be friends. Of course on her terms and when she felt like it. I finally realized she didnt want to be with me but wanted the comfort of me still in her life..... so I sent her the following email (kind of long but please, I would appreciate feedback).

EMAIL -

After some thought, I decided to write you this email because it’s time for me to move on. Our over-the-phone friendship isn’t working out for me. I’ve realized I am trying to piece back together something that’s not going to happen and I’m wasting my time. It sounds like you have moved on, which is great, but I need to do the same. I take some of the blame for our breakup, but if we loved each other as much as I thought, we could have tried working it out. I understand you were worn out and tired of trying to fix our issues, and waiting around telling yourself “things will change”, and thinking you were wasting your time. But they were insignificant compared to how much I loved you and the lengths I would have gone to keep us together. I caused us both pain and it would be a step backwards for us to get back together, but now I need to move forward. I don’t want to waste either of our time, and as abruptly as you ended our relationship I can’t be close with you anymore. Between work, school, and meeting new groups of friends, I can’t commit any time to you and a false dream of a life with you.
Just to make things perfectly clear – I no longer have an interest in maintaining this half-assed over-the-phone friendship, which seems like a game to me. You bait me with your escapades, and its these kind of remarks being brought up in our conversation that shows me a few things: 1) How much you don’t care about my feelings. 2) Your level of maturity by trying to get under my skin and hurt me. And 3) What an enormous waste of time and emotional drain it would be to keep any kind of association with you. Like our abrupt and harsh break up, its further evidence of your personality and I can’t allow that in my life anymore. I now have zero interest in trying to mend some sort of phony relationship where I think there’s an opportunity, when in reality there isn’t. I wish you the best and hope you stay committed to becoming a nurse. It sounds like you are doing well and are happy, and I hope that you eventually find a guy who cares about you as much as I did.


HER RESPONSE ---
i respect this decison. i would however like to clarify that i never set out to hurt you or get under your skin, nor did i EVER even seek you out so i dont know y you would think that i was out trying to be phony with u or pester you??? but u have always seemed to have a somewhat skewed perception of what is really going on. i never wanted to hurt u im sorry i did, i was just awkward with the fake friendship situation we had going on. i wish u the best... happy and healthy relationships with everyone in your life and i success with work and school. u will always have a special place in my heart. good luck with everything.


Just a side note... she did try to seek me out. More than once... Thoughts/ comments/ anything... i sent this email knowing we are through, even though I would still take her back. I would like feedback from the wome n about how they would interpret her response, is there anything between the lines im missing?

[CJ_Love]

Seems to me like it's pretty clear it's over and you did a good job of saying that in your email... Shoot, it's pretty darn hard to try and keep any sort of a relationship with someone that you've been with for 3 years!

Anyway, here's how I interpreted the email for what it's worth...

It seems like from her point of you... you guys didn't have real good communication with one another or perhaps this was something that just started happening as the relationship started to unravel.

Regardless, to me, this seems like some sort of a canned response and it just comes off to me as kinda catty...

IMO, congrats to you for breaking the whole thing off and move on... You did the right thing.

Cheers,

--CJ

[Jason114]

Sounds to me that you really do love this girl and desperatly want to be with her but after 2 months of being pushed away you feel betrayed and just dont want to deal with a half assed just freinds relationship with someone who you love. From what I make of it she wants to play the field and see what else is out there after 3 years but wants to keep you in her life because of the love you guys shared and wants to keep you as a backup to be there for her when she pleases. If she felt the same way for you as you do for her she wouldnt have let it got to this point.