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Thread: slip of the tongue?

  1. #1
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    slip of the tongue?

    Earlier, my boyfriend of 3 years and I were having sex, and his penis made a weird popping noise. It kind of freaked me out, and afterward, I asked if everything was ok. He kinda laughed, and said "Yeah, that always happens when I'm having sex!...with you..." The "with you" part of that sentence was definitely an afterthought. Am I being crazy to wonder if he's been having sex with someone other than me? Or was that a normal statement? I am struggling with a lot of crazy thoughts lately and I really don't know what to think about this. I would appreciate any thoughts on the matter.

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    You're making shit up, I think. Don't do that. Life is hard enough.
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    I've been on this forum for a short period of time and strongly believe if most of the posters here would simply communicate with their significant other posting here wouldnt be necessary.

    That being said, ask your b/f what the hell he meant and if he's having sex with anyone else. You need to know for your own safety.

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    bring the convo up again and work ur way up to his response and dont be too strong on the suspision... i think he just tried to correct his mistake and made it worse.

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    You're probably overthinking things.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tug View Post
    I've been on this forum for a short period of time and strongly believe if most of the posters here would simply communicate with their significant other posting here wouldnt be necessary.

    That being said, ask your b/f what the hell he meant and if he's having sex with anyone else. You need to know for your own safety.
    Well of course I asked him what he meant, but they wouldn't call it "cheating" if people admitted to it.....

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    Im sure he just meant people in the past. Your over thinking it.

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    I appreciate everyone's insight; I guess bottom line is that I just don't trust him. I've tried breaking things off with him in the past because of this, but we have a child together and he always guilts me with that. "You can't give up on our family" and similar statements. It's not that I'm giving up, I've tried really hard. But if you just flat out don't trust someone, do you think that trust can ever grow? I did trust him in the past, but he has lied to me about a few things (i've never caught him technically cheating or anything, but he has lied to me in the past). He's very secretive about his life. He owns his own business and its mobile, so he is constantly traveling all over the greater dallas area (which is huge). I really have no idea what goes on in his day, and he really makes no effort to share it with me. He's also very inconsistent. He'll call me several times a day just to say hi for a week solid. Then suddenly I won't hear from him except a quick text in the morning and then maybe a 1 minute phone call at night (we don't live together) for the next week. Does trust grow on its own, if the other person does NOTHING to help it? Any thoughts any one would care to share would be appreciated.

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    good call tug

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    in my opinion, you *need* to let him know that you're not at all satisfied with here hte relationship is at the moment. And that if he doesn't make an effort to meet your needs, you are going to leave. Take it or leave it. Some men, when faced with the actual threat of being left, get their acts together. If he doesn't, well at least you warned him. And don't let him pull that guilt trip bull shit on you. If you're unhappy and you've tried to work it out more than once, unsuccessfully, you have evry right to leave. Be strong! Much love. -twisted-

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    I agree with the majority that you should just straight up ask.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LilyPetals View Post
    I agree with the majority that you should just straight up ask.
    Again, I did ask, but again, they wouldn't call it cheating if people admitted to doing it.... Thanks to everyone for their insight. It is much appreciated.

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    why r u sleeping with him if u think he's cheating on u?

    and u could tell us how he answered when u asked him about it, even if he didnt adnit it as such it could be pretty easy to tell depending on how he reacted

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    Kinda sounds like he just said it as he thought he'd dug himself a hole. If he'd said "happens when i'm having sex" it sounds awefully general, that would seem more suspicious i'd think. But then if you don't trust him you need to confront him, just not too forcefully.

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    Errr.. if you don't trust him, it's time to end things.

    Don't let him guilt you by statements like you're "giving up on your family," -- that's ridiculous. Regardless of if you're together or not, he's still your childs father. Not being in a relationship doesn't change anything, especially since you don't live together. He'll still be involved with your kid and with you, just not in a relationship sense.

    Seriously, don't stay in something you know you don't want.

    If there's no trust, there's no relationship.

    Can trust grow? Sure. When both people are honest and communicate their issues in a healthy manner, as well as put in the effort toward rebuilding it.

    It doesn't sound like this guy is up for that sort of effort.

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