Am I crazy??? Or truly in love - I need advice

[bigcat01]

My story - 37 yrs old, father of two kids, 6yr old boy 3 yr old girl, never married mom, have kids 50% of the time. I have been "dating" a 24 yr old gal for about a year and a half. She is young, single and beautiful, and loves to do the big social scene hanging out with her friends. Both of us are so alike, very non-committal, love to flirt and play around. Anyhow we met, got intimate and soon fell in love so deep that I never even knew it could be like this - It took so long for us to admit it even though I knew and she did too. The past year both of us tried to deny to ourselves that it would ever go anywhere besides the incredible intimacy we shared once or twice a week in the bedroom. I don't think we ever really committed - No one would even consider us a couple, we choked on the words BF/GF. Our relationship was like some big secret - We would break up because we both said we need so much more, but we could just not let go - we'd try again, then the 'being more' would never happen. We both said how much we wanted to be a part of the others life, but I guess we were so afraid of what others would think - her friends/fam - Some dirty old perv with kids just shaggin their hot daughter? All my friends told me she was too young I just loved gettin laid, get over it and I was being stupid. There was an awful lot of hurting, lies and deception. It went both ways - It came down to an emotional holocaust where both our hearts blew to pieces. All this time the only thing we both believed and never doubted was that we would always be in love. Well I tried to move on and find someone who could be a part of my life, and I did - it was the best thing possibly to ever happen to me, yet I could not deny my feelings for the other girl, and I lost the good thing. All the money in the world couldn't make me pretend I still did not love this young woman. Through all the pain and heartache which nearly emotionally destroyed us, we are both still here, and cannot deny that when we hold one another the world just goes away and we feel love for each other like it was meant to be between a man and woman from the beginning of time. We are so scared to try again, but we know the mistakes we made and we're going to try and right them (trust and communication). My question is every day I look at this woman, kiss her and hold her, or lay with her, and wake up in next to her I know I will never feel the same for another - and like I said I had everyman's dream with the other girl, but without those other feelings it stood no chance against the power of what I share with my true love. To give you an idea, I never knew what true love was until I had children, and I always wondered if it was possible to feel that way about a woman. Well if you have never loved someone like this you wouldn't understand, but yes it happens!!! Or am I crazy - I love her so much - I really figure I have nothing to lose, and I believe she wants to try too...theres so much more but thats the basics - it would be different if I felt this way and she didn't or vice versa - we both believe that to feel like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but both of us never saw it coming or knew what to do with it - Can we make it work??? We have the one thing that so many couples never find. any thoughts????????

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[LeonardEugen]

Hello.
I think that u and this young girl that u are in love just need to make it happen cause i see also that she wants to make it happen.
If u love each other i think it dosen;t matter what the people are going to say because here is about your happiness and her. People is going to talk a day, a week, a month and if they are your true friends they will give a chance also to this girl.
U just need to prove to you and her that is going to work, and then to the "world". But before that just have a serious conversation whit her and see if she is willing to be whit you and accept your kids for ever and ever, because let's face it is a big responsibility.
And also if u think that is the one for you, then fight for her and for your love.
Take care.

[Adrift]

I was married for 35 years, raised three children, and thought I knew what it was to love another. Not until I was 58 did I find what it was to truly "fall in love". Much as you say, I never realized there was such a love in the world - I never knew such a love really existed. If you and this young lady have such mutual love, forget the age difference. I am 13 years older than the woman I fell in love with, and I just felt blessed that I could have opportunity to love her. In my case it doesn't look like it'll work out, but I think that if you let this get away from you, you will regret it the rest of your life. Just make sure there are no more lies or deception. Be transparant with each other and see if this love will really stand the test of time and reality.

[bigcat01]

Thanks!!! You know what I mean! Yeah I think we're going to give it an honest go - here's a little bit more - My first two kids were by the same girl and when she got knocked up with #2 I knew I'd done something I would never do again and got a Vasectomy within a week of finding out she was pregnant. I am having such a hard time with 2 kids by myself, but always regretted that I did not enjoy either one of the pregnancies and that I could not raise my beautiful kids with their mom. I swore I could never start over, but from the day I met this girl - all I can imagine is how wonderful it would be to have a baby with her - Its not the $$$ and I'm a good candidate for reversal - Am I crazy to start over?