Your opinion???

[Distorted12]

Well, my ex dumped me about a month ago. I should be over her, but, truth is, I'm not.

She is stuck in my mind, and I dream about her. It is torture.

Anyway, I think most of the issue is that we still have contact. I am still connected to her through her friends, and from actually talking to her, both of which are frequent.

Both her and her friends come to me for advice. My ex still trusts me more than her friends, and comes to me when she needs somebody to speak to, and being the sucker I am, cannot help but to care.

Furthermore, she has gotten angry at me, due to the fact that she logged onto MY myspace, and looked at my top friends, seeing that she wasn't there, she got angry at me. A few days later, she read a bulletin, and saw something which made her think she didn't trust her anymore.

Stuff like this happens, and it makes me angry. I blew up at her the other day, and got a few things off of my chest. She also told me that she didn't want to give me false hope or seem like she was leading me on. But she also said that there has been a massive hole in her heart since I've been gone.

I just don't get that.

She comes to me for advice with things. Trusts me more than her friends. Worries about me. And has a hole in her heart caused by my absence.

But she doesn't want me.

WTF.

All the reasons she gave me for the breakup had been justified and rectified since. Although, now her reason is that she stopped loving me. Which is not true, I think she just convinced herself of that fact.


What is your opinion on the situation?

[t0ri]

The truth of the matter is, is that she may have once loved you as more, but now the only thing she values is your FRIENDSHIP. You probably were her best friend - the one she could blab about nonsense to all day, any day, and you'd listen. She of course cares about you, but not in a romantic way any longer. That is why she's keeping you hanging by a thread - for HER benefit. So that she has a dependable friend to get advice and whatever else from whenever she feels the need. If you look at the big picture, she's being selfish.

Dude, I am in a similar situation. The best thing you can do, is to put yourself first. I know you care about the girl, but you can't let her rule things anymore. It truly is only hurting you in the long run. She is used to, and happy with, contacting you because it is comforting. You may want to be there for her, as I do with my ex, but they threw away US - which includes EVERY part of us. They don't get to pick and choose which parts of us they get, which may be friendship or whatever.

Unless you can deal with this endless torture that she will COMPLETELY take advantage of, then cut off contact and let her go. And also, she got irritated that she wasn't on your "top friends" because she, of course, wants to remain a top priority in your life, without you having to be one in hers. "Never make someone a priority that only makes you an option."

I know you don't want to believe that she stopped loving you. I'm sure she loves you still, but something has shifted. Something has changed to where she doesn't see things as worth as much as they used to be.

Don't let her have the satisfaction of demoting you from "boyfriend" to "reliable friend." As hard as it is to accept and understand, you deserve better than that. You have to let go if you ever want to move on.

[Distorted12]

Yeah I know man... gahhh. This situation is so lame. I guess life isn't like the movies huh, the girl leaves the guy, realises he was the only one there for her and she trusts him with all her heart.

[Tug]

Does the thought of a slow painful death fascinate you? Are you in to self mutilation, do you like pain?

If you answered yes to any of the above than your in the right place in terms of keeping contact with the girl who kicked you to the curb. My advice to you is tell her you need to sever all contact with her in order to mend your broken heart and move on with your life. Cause if you don't your going to be miserable for a long, long time.

[alovehangoverr]

Errr.. why are you still being there for this girl a month after you broke up when it's clear you're not over her? Bad, BAD idea.

Listen, if you've tried to fix the reasons she gave you for the break up and she still doesn't want to be with you-- that should be a pretty clear sign it's over.

Add to the fact that she finally came out and told you she didn't love you.. yeah, you should believe her instead of trying to convince yourself it's not true.

It's time to cut contact and move on.

[Frederica]

The best thing you can do, is to put yourself first. I know you care about the girl, but you can't let her rule things anymore. It truly is only hurting you in the long run. She is used to, and happy with, contacting you because it is comforting. You may want to be there for her, as I do with my ex, but they threw away US - which includes EVERY part of us. They don't get to pick and choose which parts of us they get, which may be friendship or whatever.

[Vilenanova]

I would suggest that you stop any contact with her. After a while, she will get worried, and then will come your way, romantically

[Distorted12]

Today 12:55 PM
Vilenanova I would suggest that you stop any contact with her. After a while, she will get worried, and then will come your way, romantically

Yeah dude, I did that as a matter of fact, just a little after making this topic.

She'd texted me on Saturday asking if I was okay, I replied with short answers, one word, not even words, more acronyms, like IDK and the sort.

The next day she tried to talk to me on msn, to which I responded again with short answers, it was obvious I was avoiding conversation, using shitty excuses not to talk to her, such as I was playing guitar, which probably shocked her, as she's used to being first priority... although I made some small discussion, not much, a little after, which I got out of quickly once I realised that I'd slipped.

Later that night, she was asking if she was the only one I was treating like that. I didn't reply to her, I simply ignored her. She then was asking her friend if I was talking to her, telling me to talk to her, and she said she was getting worried, also asking the friend to ask me if I was ignoring her, I just told the friend to say that I just said things like 'hmm' or 'meh'.

Now yesterday, I blocked her. I'm sure she knows it too. I was still online on myspace, and she's not a very dumb girl. Again she told her friend that she knew I'd blocked her, and asking her if I had.

That brings us today, and I probably won't unblock her just yet, as it will probably result in some kind of fight.

[Elvira]

It truly is only hurting you in the long run. She is used to, and happy with, contacting you because it is comforting.

[Volk]

I would suggest that you stop any contact with her. After a while, she will get worried, and then will come your way, romantically

'Distorted12'

Well played.
Let her miss you longer, then when she comes back tell her that you aren't wanting to be with her just as a friend + Tempt her masculinly etc.