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Thread: Still trying to figure it out.

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Still trying to figure it out.

    When will the wondering and questions of why it went wrong and why my ex doesn't want me anymore STOP?

    He blamed not wanting to be together anymore on the fighting. He said he just doesn't want to be in a relationship and deal with stuff like that. We were together for two years, and we're 21. He dumped me in February, we didn't speak for three weeks, then he contacted me and we began to get back together - until one night I went to see him and he tried to make me leave because two other girls were coming over. So I, rightfully so, was pissed and we fought. So the next day, he ends things again. Now we haven't spoken for two weeks. Will he be likely to contact me again??!??? Not that I'll even respond, but I'm wondering.

    Now he and his roommate recently got a beer pong table set up in their apartment and are seemingly turning their place into a party house. (Something he told me he never wanted to do. wtf?) And they're, of course, inviting girls over (Two of which he has invited over, but they haven't gone, have boyfriends.) Why is it apparently so easy for him to be without me, when I'm struggling and finding it really difficult to accept? Is it because he knows I still want him, and thinks I'd take him back since I did after he broke up with me the first time?

    I just DON'T GET IT. I don't get why all of a sudden he decided I, and our relationship, wasn't worth any fighting whatsoever anymore. I've heard that at the two year mark, people decide whether or not the relationship is worth continuing. I didn't even think about it, but apparently he did? Is it because he wants to explore other options because I'm his first love/sexual experience/etc? Other things happened in our relationship besides the fighting - including me getting pregnant and losing it a year and a half into the relationship. Did he suddenly realize how serious we were - like marriage material - and changed his mind about wanting to be in a serious committed relationship?

    This hurts so bad and I cannot wait to be OVER IT! Lots of questions I need opinions on...
    Last edited by t0ri; 05-05-09 at 05:29 AM.

  2. #2
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    Questions best left unanswered. He's kind of acting out to deal with his feelings, trust me I did that a little bit last time. It will all collapse when he realizes what is really going on that you can't run from it.

    Keep yourself out of the picture and forget about the "what if's?" and the "whys?" - its done and theres nothing to learn from it at this point.

    We will never fully understand the human mind and feelings, theres just no answer sometimes.

    "What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
    You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."


    The Warmonger

  3. #3
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    What CBRider said. Seems to be fairly obvious that he's running to a lifestyle where he doesn't have to be a responsible adult at least for a while.

    He also might have been too young to be in a serious relationship. Would more answers make it hurt any less? It might help you more to just start getting over the guy, hun.
    “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin

  4. #4
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    You mean he's partying and such to cover feelings up as long as he can? Hmm.

    I have been starting to get over him; but I can't help but to try and figure out what's going on/went on. It wouldn't make it hurt less, but it would give my mind some peace to understand what happened - because three weeks ago he was telling me that I'm the only person he can imagine marrying, he's still in love with me, blah blah blah. But we just can't be together right now, according to him.

    His myspace says he "needs to get out of here." He's going out of town next week, and that'll be the longest period of time we have not spoken at all.

    I just wonder if he'll ever contact me again!

    I know nobody knows for sure what he's feeling/thinking except him, but I just was curious for opinions.

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