Is chemistry different to lust

[brigitte]

A guy I know keeps saying he is looking for chemistry in a relationship. If a relationship fails it's always because "there was no chemistry".
So how would you guys define chemistry and how differnt is it to lust?

[ecojeanne]

i would consider chemistry the same as lust, without hormones reacting then there is no attraction therefore means there is no chemistry

[lovesjoyajm]

I dunno. I think chemistry is also a personality thing. You can lust after a hot model on a billboard but that doesn't mean the two of you have chemistry.

[starbuck]

Lust is purely sexual. Chemistry involves a combination of more complex feelings, lust being one of them of course, but also, respect, admiration, trust, and affection.

Lust can be mutual, but can also be one-sided. Chemistry always has to be mutual to work. Two-people clicking in that "just-right" way. I'm not sure it's ever one-sided.

That's how I've always thought of it anyway.

[Junket]

As far as I can tell, lust is love.

[Gribble]

To me chemistry and lust go hand and hand. I can look at a picture of a beautiful woman and want her. That's lust.

I can meet a girl who doesn't really fit my ideal of physical beauty and want her all the more. That's when chemistry kicks in.

[Lite]

As far as I can tell, lust is love.

Actually, love is pairbonding based upon mutually shared experiences in which your brain released Oxytocin (women) or Vasopressin (men) into your bloodstream to enhance the feeling of "togetherness".

[Junket]

Actually, love is pairbonding based upon mutually shared experiences in which your brain released Oxytocin (women) or Vasopressin (men) into your bloodstream to enhance the feeling of "togetherness".

Nope.

I fall in love very quickly.

Everyday.

[lesa]

Actually, love is pairbonding based upon mutually shared experiences in which your brain released Oxytocin (women) or Vasopressin (men) into your bloodstream to enhance the feeling of "togetherness".

Oxytocin for men as well.

Chemistry, attraction, lust can all go together. When you first meet someone and date you look for chemistry or attraction. Do you two have great interaction that allows the type of flirting or bonding you want? Lust can be a look at the person's body and have a strong desire to sex them. With chemistry you want to get to interact in more ways than just sex. But really it may be basically the same thing.

[Lite]

Oxytocin for men as well.

Chemistry, attraction, lust can all go together. When you first meet someone and date you look for chemistry or attraction. Do you two have great interaction that allows the type of flirting or bonding you want? Lust can be a look at the person's body and have a strong desire to sex them. With chemistry you want to get to interact in more ways than just sex. But really it may be basically the same thing.

Oxytocin is not used by men for pair bonding. That's vasopressin.

[Aeradalia]

As far as I can tell, lust is love.

Nope.

I fall in love very quickly.

Everyday.

Then by your definition... you fall in 'lust' very quickly and every day.

Having never experienced something directly doesn't disprove its existence. If you've never felt love but have mistaken lust for it... then that doesn't mean that love has to be lust. There are others who have experienced 'love'... and they do not define it as lust... but as something more.

[Junket]

Then by your definition... you fall in 'lust' very quickly and every day.

Having never experienced something directly doesn't disprove its existence. If you've never felt love but have mistaken lust for it... then that doesn't mean that love has to be lust. There are others who have experienced 'love'... and they do not define it as lust... but as something more.

I don't care what others define it as.

If a guy marries a woman simply because she can cook damn good food, what is it really then, gluttony?

To assume that everyone feels the same things, for the same reasons is ridiculous.

Not everyone falls into the fairy tale love. I'd even say there are some people that aren't capable of it. Don't have an interest for it, nor care to.

All I know is, I'm more compassionate, caring, and empathetic towards my girlfriend (naturally), when I want sex. There's no effort there. I don't have to fake anything, there's nothing forced about my behavior.

Honestly, I believe marriage is hard work because 2 people who are no longer sexually interested in each other are forcing themselves to coexist with the other. What's difficult about the the first few months of a relationship? Rarely anything. You have 2 individuals completely smitten with each other. Rarely will their emotions ever spike as high as they do during the honeymoon stage.

Makes sense when you figure that's when two people are mostly likely to run off and have sex as much as they can. If she gets pregnant soon enough he'll probably stick around for the first year or two, and if he's the father type, stick around to raise the child, regardless of whether or not he's interested in the woman anymore.

I used to think love and lust were really different.

All the old and wise said it was.

Then I experienced it for myself.

They're all liars.

[Gribble]

There are people who believe a fluttering sensation in their guts is proof enough to them that their god exists. What people feel means less than nothing.

Love, in my humble opinion, is the second biggest crock of shit on this Earth.

[Aeradalia]

I don't care what others define it as.

If a guy marries a woman simply because she can cook damn good food, what is it really then, gluttony?

To assume that everyone feels the same things, for the same reasons is ridiculous.

Not everyone falls into the fairy tale love. I'd even say there are some people that aren't capable of it. Don't have an interest for it, nor care to.

All I know is, I'm more compassionate, caring, and empathetic towards my girlfriend (naturally), when I want sex. There's no effort there. I don't have to fake anything, there's nothing forced about my behavior.

Honestly, I believe marriage is hard work because 2 people who are no longer sexually interested in each other are forcing themselves to coexist with the other. What's difficult about the the first few months of a relationship? Rarely anything. You have 2 individuals completely smitten with each other. Rarely will their emotions ever spike as high as they do during the honeymoon stage.

Makes sense when you figure that's when two people are mostly likely to run off and have sex as much as they can. If she gets pregnant soon enough he'll probably stick around for the first year or two, and if he's the father type, stick around to raise the child, regardless of whether or not he's interested in the woman anymore.

I used to think love and lust were really different.

All the old and wise said it was.

Then I experienced it for myself.

They're all liars.

Your response doesn't really contest my own... all you're saying is "I haven't experienced it for myself so it doesn't exist".... All I'm saying is there are many with similar/comparable experiences that says it does exist...

You haven't encountered it yet... that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just means you haven't encountered it...

[Aeradalia]

There are people who believe a fluttering sensation in their guts is proof enough to them that their god exists. What people feel means less than nothing.

Love, in my humble opinion, is the second biggest crock of shit on this Earth.

I'm not debating belief... I'm merely stating that many people have encountered a series of emotional responses in unison with someone else that they have agreed is 'love'.

It's not so much the 'feeling' that matters.... but the comparable testimonies about recognition of this emotion and agreement that each individual does feel the same thing.

It would be easy to dismiss the concept of love as a 'crock of shit' if there weren't so many with similar testimonies stating to the contrary. I'm not saying their claims are necessarily valid... but only that it leaves room for consideration that further study/research is needed... and quite possibly, personal experience of the emotion defined as 'love.'

If the 'old and wise' says there is such a thing and the 'young and restless' says there isn't... then one has to wonder what happens between those two stages in life. Something is missing... and nothing wrong with having curiosity pertaining to this change.