Lost my best friend because i told I love her

[smackie9]

If you want to be in love with someone don't be their friend. There is a reason why you were in the freinds zone....because you are not BF material to her. So don't get suckered into being some girls's friend, because that is all you are to them. There is no way of "getting her back". She had this impression of you as a friend...now you are some guy that wants her....friendship is out the window and that is how it usually works.

If she wanted you, she would have persued you the day you met. No you can't make someone fall in love with you...I'm confused....you are 32? You are not real good with the ladies are ya.....

[HeartIsAching]

She's trying to respect you. You are in no way able to be friends with her if you're in love with her. She's doing the right thing by cutting contact.

Honestly, she probably thought you were her gay best friend.

That is absolutely, categorically untrue. My wife is my best friend.

OP - she is upset at you because she feels that you've betrayed a trust, and you have to some degree. One thing to consider - you really only started having these feeling two weeks before she left... I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you were confusing the prospect of missing your friend with love. Perhaps if you emailed or texted her and told her that, she'd be willing to re-connect... but don't count on it.

Oh, one further thing - if she was really your best friend, she'd have weathered this and gone on, with perhaps an admonishment to keep things where they belong... that she didn't, tells me that she was more important to you than you were to her.

[MerryH]

This thread was posted two years ago. I'm pretty sure it's been resolved.

[twinrexes]

0000love000, she is not only trying to be fair to you by cutting contact but she's also probably a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. Especially since she's been so friendly with you, even a little flirty, without realizing you had feelings for her. Maybe she feels she led you on a bit, and that would especially make her want to back off.

I had a couple of situations in my past where guys suggested taking things to another level, and I wasn't interested. One of them had been a good friend for many years. When I turned down his advances, I immediately felt uncomfortable and became very quiet. But he shrugged it off and said, "it's not that big a deal, don't worry about it" and kind of kidded with me to put me at ease. So our friendship never missed a beat.

The other case was a married guy I thought of as a kind of older brother. Until one time he and his wife invited me over for dinner (as they had several times before), and this time the guy suggested the three of us move things into the bedroom. Being pretty conservative, I got kind of freaked out. Figured they must be really drunk and left. My guy friend (the husband) called me in the morning to explain that his wife was into it too, and they enjoy threesomes, and I shouldn't have felt uncomfortable. Still, I couldn't think of him as my trusted "big brother" anymore and stopped talking to him. We shared a class together, so he was still around me every day and seemed ticked off that I wouldn't talk.

But, he left me alone and didn't pressure me. And after a while, I relaxed and forgot about the whole thing and we became friends again. Things went back to normal, except no more sexual advances over dinner!

What I'm trying to show you is that you have to back off and let things settle down. There's a very good chance that you can be friends again if she sees that you're fine and it's "no big deal". And if you really are in love with her, you need to do something about that because she's NOT available. So find another love interest, and then you can truly enjoy this woman as "just friends".

[twinrexes]

Wait a minute, it's a two year old thread? How did I miss that? (didn't see page two, lol). Well, at least I hope my story helped someone!