i just don't care ....

[trisha]

here it goes,

I'm dating this guy now but a lot of people commented that i should stop it now before i would be emotionally attached to this person...Their basis of judging him is the fact that he has a bad record during his teenage years...

I think people change, and my instincts said that he's nice...So far, he's not committing any of his deviant behaviors before...

i just don't care what others may say...

just last night, he introduced me to his mom, his mom's nice...
with that actuation, i think he's a better man now, his grown up already...

But do you think it's enough to trust my instinct alone?...

[misombra]

people certainly do change and nobody should be judged based on who they were in high school. how old are you two?

i always hear stories about how crazy my boyfriend was before i met him. but i've known him for a long time and when i hear those stories it sounds like they're talking about somebody else.

[trisha]

misombra,

we're both 23 now...

[misombra]

and who are the people who are telling you these things?

[trisha]

my classmates way back in high school, my mother's friends, my mother as well though she just heard of those things but does not know him personally.

[misombra]

and what kind of things are you hearing?

[Rollerderby]

Ultimately, you and he are in the relationship together, not everyone else. Give it a shot, but don't keep your blinders on. I'd also like to know what you're hearing.

[Cbrider]

I dressed up as a head to toe Christmas tree and danced across crosswalks downtown when I was in high school.

Don't judge me.

[trisha]

we're on the same place but i really do not know about him since i was out of town for 5 years. They said he's an addict but it's not confirmed. He's alcoholic, chain smoker and all those bad stuffs...

he impregnated someone when he was 19, he has a kid now but he's not married to the girl since they're too young to get married that time. Now the girl's married to another man.

They said that he was a leader of a certain teenage gang before.

But now, he still smokes , but that's okay...

he is not an addict now, that certain "gang" thingy was gone...

he's trying to finish his studies now cause he said it's a shame to be a always a bum ...

my friends said that considering his past, there's a chance that he might be doing those again ...

[misombra]

how long have you been seeing him?

[Ashbee]

if i was in your shoes i would definatly be abit weary. But only because iv dated an alcoholic and my step dad was an alcoholic and both of them were the hardest thing to deal with in my life so i would never let another one enter my life.
But please dont ever think you will be able to change this man.

[trisha]

misombra,

we've been dating for 3 months

[trisha]

ashbee,

yeah, I'm hesitant to continue my relationship with him considering all those things.

[vashti]

They said he's an addict but it's not confirmed. He's alcoholic...

he impregnated someone when he was 19, he has a kid now

These are giant red flags. Does he see his child regularly and help contribute financially to his/her well-being? If the answer to either question is "no", I'd drop him like a hot potato.

Does he use drugs to get high? Deal breaker for me. Drug addicts are scummy.

Is he still drinking alcohol? Get rid him. A guy would need to be straight and sober for maybe 5 years or longer before I'd trust him.

BTW - drug addicts and drunks are forever considered addicted. They aren't allowed to say "I used to be..." Addiction doesn't work that way.

[Illusional]

hello?!?!? people are judging him on two things..

1. you said he has a record.

2. you have a problem with him

1 + 2 = bad guy.

raverboy