Calling Men

[toriellen]

Hi Guys,

I have just begun seeing a man for only a week. He was interested in me a long time before i finally gave him some attention. I heard he would go an and on about me and he gave a friend his number so he would give it to me. i told my friend i didn't want the number because i didn't want to appear desperate.

Anyhow we finally talked in person and he asked me out. But we ended up getting cuaght in somekind of whirlwind romance. He calls me usually each day at different times for no real reason and only talks briefly. The thing is that sometimes i really want to call him and i have to resist the temptation. He actually asks me to call and i do but i feel like there is alot of 'calling goin on.

is it a turn off to a guy to have a new woman calling you? i really dont get these games and i have found that men like it if you are standoffish at first. If he says he wants me ta call does he mean it?

Also this man told me he thinks he could fall in love with me very easily. It was almost like an automatic blurting out that he does . i don't see how he could possibly know this. Then the next day he says he loves me and i said but you really dont know me yet do you? Anyways what does a woman say to that? we are both well over 30 so you'd think we would know better...Anyhow any advice would be great. thankyou

[finnman]

If you feel like calling, then call. If you can't be yourself in the relationship then you'll never be happy in it

[boobaa]

[QUOTE=toriellen;453773]Hi Guys,
bdsbsddsfdsafsdafadsQUOTE]

Wtf?

Just call. It isn't some kind of game about how someone appears. Besides, he seems to be as desperate. How old are you, 12?

My gf calls me all the time.

[Lite]

You know, the biggest problem that people have when it comes to dating is getting out of their own way so that they can actually date and fall in love.

There are no "rules" about who should call, how often on should call, and whether or not it's OK to call often.

These are dynamics that are worked out between the people in the relationship on the fly. If this were a more open and actually communicative world, we'd be able to openly say, "Look, I like you, but I feel we talk too much on the phone and really I'm not so into that." And the other person would feel a little disappointed, but appreciate the honesty, and go on.

Just like the other person could say, I really like getting to talk to you every day after work. It's the highlight of my evening.

But, no, instead you people worry about calling too much, or not enough, or some random rule that you once heard about from a friend who insists that aliens are real and like to probe your anus.

Relax, every relationship has its own tempo and you have to feel this out.

[toriellen]

lol. the anus part was funny. You are soooo right . things have changed considerable and i have been ringin him wheneva i feel like it. thanks

[lastwish]

If you want to call him, you should. You should resist his advancements not to play mind games but because you are wise enough to not fall for him that easily (at least thats what I do after experiencing a heartbreak). My advice: be true to yourself.

[Doc Durian]

Unless the guy knows you from before, how could he know or feel you well enough to express such thoughts so quickly when you're both well into your thirties...

He sounds like either a helpless romantic or a player...

There's nothing wrong about you having reservations with him...

Maybe he needs to show you more before those reservations dissipate.

[Rollerderby]

There are two drastic topics in this post. One is the factor of calling, the second is the factor him telling you he could fall in love with you.

On the subject of calling, I like this response the best:


[quote=boobaa;454043]

Hi Guys,
bdsbsddsfdsafsdafadsQUOTE]

Wtf?

Just call. It isn't some kind of game about how someone appears. Besides, he seems to be as desperate. How old are you, 12?

My gf calls me all the time.

Boobaa's quote describes it: stop over analyzing. you are blabbering about who should call. He clearly wants you to call... which brings me to my second issue:

Him telling you he could fall in love with you... whoa. ****ing whoa, hold the ****ing horse. How long have you known each other? This is a major red flag. I've met guys who have told me this before, it's flattering initially, until you have to start worrying for your life. These guys are possessive and jealous, and once they start seeing past the rose tint, the world turns ugly. I'd say call him if you didn't bring this info to light. I now say stay far far FAR away. Please, if you date him these words are going to haunt you later; I told you so.