Eye Contact

**chasethemorning** · 25-05-09, 12:55 AM

Okay, so I'm gonna real quick brief y'all on what happened between my boyfriend and i.

i've known him since i was ten, and he was nine. i fell for him when i was about fifteen, and we started dating when i was seventeen (in sept. '06) we fell in love with each other, dated for a year and a half, said we were engaged even though i didn't have a diamond, etc. his parents have never, ever approved of me. he is extremely, EXTREMELY sheltered by his mother. he's been homeschooled his entire life and never gets to do anything. it's disgusting, and he has no control over it. anyway...

in...i'd say november of '07, he stopped talking to me. he altogether up and vanished out of my life, literally dropped off the face of the earth. i had told him about the bad things i'd done (i'd gotten drunk and kissed another guy...i'd come out of the closet as bisexual...i'd started smoking) and i said that even after all that i still loved him and wanted to be with him. he didn't talk to me throughout all of 2008. i stayed single, i kind of don't even know what i did, i was so out of it. i pined for him, cried for him, blah blah blah.

in january of this year i got a strange IM. this person asked me weird questions and wouldn't reveal their identity. i kind of suspected that it might just be my jeremy, but i wasn't sure for deff. he finally came clean mid february and we got back together. i still can't see him ever (and it's even worse now because his parents still think that we don't have any communication what so ever). my problem is this:

i trust him. i really do. i know he won't leave me again. i just can't look him in the eye. whenever i do, i can look at him for like a split second before i have to look away. i love him with all my heart but i just can't look him in the eye. is that horrible??