My Ex

[*1983*]

Ok so long story, basically back in 2002 I was involved with a really cool guy who was 12 years older than me. He was under a lot of pressure to get married from his family (who are religious). I wasn't in that stage of my life, I was only 19, so even though we got along so well we broke up amicably and a couple of years later he got married and now has a son.

So we kept in touch sporadically through out the years. This year I moved to the city where he lives for University,he plays in a band and I went to one of his gigs. Since then he's been ringing me a lot. Asking me if i was going to another of the gigs, he'd put me on the guest list etc. Also asking If i wanted to do things for his band, promotion etc.

But every time he calls lately, he starts off talking about jobs he wants doing but then ends up talking about memories of stuff we had done and what I'm up to etc and then he ends the conversation saying he'll be in touch about the band. So he never actually says what he wants me to do, like he's trying to think of ideas or have an excuse to ring me.

What confuses me is, I know he would never cheat on his wife and he knows I would never let anything happen now he's married. So what, does he just like the attention? is something wrong with his relationship?

Any ideas?
Thanks in advance

[Twank]

It seems like he misses you and even though he would never physically cheat on his wife and you wouldn't let anything happen he still wants you in his life in some measure but it seems like this could be a slippery slope for the two of you

[Il Cattivo]

I would avoid him, but that's just me. Probably something is unsatisfying about his marriage, and unless you have a desire to get into that situation, there really isn't much percentage in you putting any effort into this guy.
You broke up before because he wanted to get married, and even if this time he does cheat and have a relationship with you, chances are, you'll break up again so he can stay married.

[keepitreal]

UM! He would cheat on his wife... he's just waiting for you to hop on board. And unless he's Sting... a 40 yr old musician? Please tell me you have higher aspirations for yourself. Also if he'd cheat on her (which he will if you let him), he'll cheat on you. Stay away, it's not worth it.

[*1983*]

No, I know he wouldn't cheat on his wife because he's not like that. I'm not being naive, I know a lot of people cheat but I do know that some women and some men just don't.

But to update on the story, he rang me a couple of days ago and we were just chatting about general stuff and then he told me he's now living with his friend because things are "difficult" he said there's no one else involved, its "financial/stress".

I said I'm sure they will work it out and he didn't really say anything or sound hopeful. This still confuses me, why he's telling me this stuff, when we have had sporadic contact the last five years.

However I do know that for me to even consider, anything happening, he would have to have been separated from her for a long long time, I still think they will get back together though.