Should I give up???

[s_b]

Hey - did you say you chickened out asking him to a movie?

Well give it another shot...but angle it after some general chit chat. Kinda ask him if he likes x type of films, then say you do and casually suggest you go to see it together.

Try not to be so nervous around him; just be laid back, smiley and YOURSELF. If he still doesn't take the hint, you won't have lost anything or feel bad about being rejected etc as you were simply being yourself, without opening up too much.

Hope this makes some sense.

[Hope09]

Hey - did you say you chickened out asking him to a movie?

I know...I know...I am pathetic. But I can't help it. I am a woman and would like to be asked out on a date. If its taking him 8 weeks and he hasn't asked me out, I don't think he's interested. I think to him I am just a golfing buddy.

We are getting together tonight to practice chipping/putting. He has me if I wanted to golf this Saturday, therefore, we are golfing both Friday and Saturday. We have golfed like 20 rounds and he's barely made any physical contact and no other dates besides getting together for golf.

I don't know. Maybe its time to just hang it up.

[Yggdrasil]

I'm really beginning to think we are just golfing buddies and nothing more. I think 8 times is more than enough to see he is interested in me and I just don't think he is.

I am really beginning to think that you're to chicken to ask him a straight forward question

Take your balls in your hand (yeah... women have balls to) and ask him if he would like to go for a drink AFTER golfing.

Or I'll come over there and ask instead

What's your fear? Rejection? Pffft... how can it be possibly worse than it is now. Right now you got nothing. If you ask, you may have something, or you may have the same thing: nothing.

[Hope09]

I am really beginning to think that you're to chicken to ask him a straight forward question

Take your balls in your hand (yeah... women have balls to) and ask him if he would like to go for a drink AFTER golfing.

Or I'll come over there and ask instead

What's your fear? Rejection? Pffft... how can it be possibly worse than it is now. Right now you got nothing. If you ask, you may have something, or you may have the same thing: nothing.

What am I supposed to say??? Hey, I am wondering if you are interested in me? I think that's kind of lame.

I'm a 45 yr old woman and I want to be asked out on a date. Obviously, he isn't interested because don't you think he would have already asked me out?

[Spicy]

What am I supposed to say??? Hey, I am wondering if you are interested in me? I think that's kind of lame.

I'm a 45 yr old woman and I want to be asked out on a date. Obviously, he isn't interested because don't you think he would have already asked me out?

Perhaps he considers golfing and dinner a date.

Try asking him what he does for fun when he's not golfing and express an interest in one of those "hobbies".

[Yggdrasil]

What am I supposed to say??? Hey, I am wondering if you are interested in me? I think that's kind of lame.

I'm a 45 yr old woman and I want to be asked out on a date. Obviously, he isn't interested because don't you think he would have already asked me out?

C'mon doll.. you're 45 and don't know what to say. God you're cute....

Say what I suggested in the post: Hey Joe, how about we go for a drink after golfing....

Joe, you know.. I like golfing with you... I'd also like to spend more time with you outside golfing...

Etc... etc...

There is no written rule what so ever that the guy has to say those things first.

[Thelovedoctor]

Ok hope, obviously this guy is waving a huge flag saying he likes you and you're still humming and hawwing about whether or not you want him.

Quite frankly, I just think you're making every excuse in the book not to out of fear of leaving that "golf buddy comfort zone" to explore a new and possibly greener side of the grass. you got the all green, and psychologically, you are holding yourself back from taking the plunge. So, here is what you do.

Write a note saying you like him and you want to spend more time, slip it in his golf bag when he's not looking, and when he finds it and reads it, mission accomplished. you won't have time to dive in the bushes to avoid asking the big question, and if you chicken out from even doing that, then you deserve to be alone.

remember, the guy has already made the first move, he's just waiting for your reply, which you're just staring into la-la land like a dumbshit thinking he hasn't made it yet.

[Hope09]

I am really beginning to think that you're to chicken to ask him a straight forward question

Yea, I am chicken. If I ask him "hey are you interested in me", and if he isn't, then he may feel uncomfortable and may not want to golf anymore. I don't want that too happen.

Say what I suggested in the post: Hey Joe, how about we go for a drink after golfing....

Joe, you know.. I like golfing with you... I'd also like to spend more time with you outside golfing...

Etc... etc...

We have gone to dinner after golfing and we have had drink afterwards as well. I feel if I get some alcohol in me, then I would be able to say that, however, with or without alcohol, I haven't been able to say that.

Ok hope, obviously this guy is waving a huge flag saying he likes you and you're still humming and hawwing about whether or not you want him.

A huge flag???? What has he done that say he likes me? There has been no physical contact other than the hand on the shoulder on occasion and that one time he leaned against me, other than that, its just been golfing buddies.

I am 45 years old and I know if someone is interested in me. If he is interested, he kisses me, or holds my hand or ask me to a movie. I have not seen this guy doing either of those. If I had, I would be ecstatic.

Last night when he dropped me off, he's like "hey, why don't you leave your golf bag so I can clean your golf clubs" and I said great...but I need to get my sunglasses out of my bag. So we both get out of the car, and I get my sunglasses....as I am walking to the back of the car, I'm thinking "I'm going to give him a hug". As I get my sunglasses out of the bag, he closes the car trunk and by the time I look up (I'm still standing at the back of his car), he has already opened the door to get back in the driver's seat. I was like "damn, maybe that's just a sign he's not into me".

You know what's funny. Here I am thinking about this guy and coming on to a message board and telling my story and he probably hasn't even thought of me anymore than just a golfing buddy.

[Yggdrasil]

A huge flag???? What has he done that say he likes me? There has been no physical contact other than the hand on the shoulder on occasion and that one time he leaned against me, other than that, its just been golfing buddies.

C'mon Hope... he hates and dislikes you that much he doesn't want to play golf with you pretty much every occasion he gets. He dislikes your company that much, you guys don't go for a drink or dinner after (who cares he can write it off, that's irrelevant)...

On top of that, he comes with all kinds of lame excuses not to play golf with you and even worse, finds even more silly excuses not to have a drink or dinner with you.

Yeah.. I can tell.. this guy is totaly not interested in you, doesn't want to spend time with you and doesn't compliment you on your golf game. He's such an ass.

Wakey wakey Hope...

Just say something like: Bob, I am seriously interested in you and wonder if the feeling is mutual.

I mean: what do you have to lose? Your virginity?

[Hope09]

C'mon Hope... he hates and dislikes you that much he doesn't want to play golf with you pretty much every occasion he gets. He dislikes your company that much, you guys don't go for a drink or dinner after (who cares he can write it off, that's irrelevant)...

I care. It doesn't make me feel like its a date when he says "I'll pay for dinner, because I can write it off". Wow, that turned me on. Would you consider it a date if a woman did that to you?

If he is so interested in me, why hasn't he asked me to a movie. By the way, we both ask each other if the other wants to go golfing. Just wanted to clarify just in case no one thought I was doing my part.

C'mon, I have done plenty. Everytime, we see each other, I have touched his arm or leaned against him at least 3-4 times each time we go golfing to where he has only touched me 4 times in the 20 rounds that we have golfed. What does that tell you?

[qwertz]

What would you rather be...unhappy and constantly thinking what if? or at least able to say, 'i gave it a shot'
So in that respect you have nothing to lose.

Just ask him casually to go to the movies- you dont have to tell him of any other intentions- just friends watching a film together. Then at least see where that goes.

[Thelovedoctor]

You see, now you're just nitpicking with "oh he doesn't do this" or "he doesn't do that", which is exactly what I'm talking about you dragging your feet.

well ****. if you are SOOOO sure he's not interested in you when he's obviously spending lots of time with you, what the **** do you need us for? you've already decided he doesn't like you, in spite a very distinctive majority is pulling their hair out with you saying to go for it, and you're STILL casting doubt. It's you who is obviously the problem. I've already explained this stuff before in my previous post, which you obviously just misinterpreted or went in one ear and out the other. as yggdrasil said, what do you got to loose? go for it.

Christ. no wonder you're still single in your 40's.

[Hope09]

Christ. no wonder you're still single in your 40's.

I appreciate everyone's advice/suggestions including yours, but Wow, that's being judgmental.

I came here wanting to know why HE hasn't asked me. All this talk is I should be the one to have more balls, or I should be the one to tell him I am interested, or I should be the one to ask if he would like to go to a movie. Its all about I should be the one asking. Maybe there are no more guys that ask a girl out on a dates anymore. I don't know. I have let him know in sooooo many ways that I am interested...all but telling him I am. I thought actions would speak louder than words, but I guess not.

Hell, I can't even give him a hug because he's already in the car by the time I look up.

I like being asked out...I am still old school and I don't feel nothing is wrong with that.

[IndiReloaded]

You are already golfing buddies. You have already done drinks/dinner afterward. I don't see your problem, frankly.

The only thing you haven't done, sounds like, is ask him to accompany you to something independent of the golf. Doing that is tres simple. Try something like:

Hey, I just got tickets to the x symphony, or y game, or movie passes, or some show. Wanna go?

BTW - His comment about 'writing dinner off' is him trying to make you feel comfortable (so you don't guilt about him paying for you). Its a fuked up way to go about it, but nowadays you can't blame a guy at all for doing that. The 'rules' for dating are all messed up, to the point there ARE women who would take offense at him picking up the tab.

How is HE supposed to know you aren't that sort? Have you ever talked about it?

So. Just ask him to something already. Chances are he'll say yes, or have a genuine excuse to say no (don't freak out). I bet if he does say no, it will be with regret and he will suggest a different option.

Or, if he declines without followup, then that's your cue you have a golf/after golf drink buddy and that's it. Relax about it, either way.

[CocoChanel]

Even so, if he is interested in her why isn't he asking her out to do something? What is the conversation like when you two are talking?