what's going on in her head?

[sootie]

My ex girlfriend and I broke up mutually and I wanted her back, she said no. I told her I was going to make changes and have to make me a better person for me, not her. We dated 9 months been apart for about 2 months. I emailed her about some positive changes in my life a couple weeks ago - new bigger, better apartment and mortgage approval. She called me - happy for me. We talked a couple times on the phone after that and then I get this email she has recently started seeing someone, has moved on, wants me to move on, not to have any false hope that we have a future together and that false hope will only keep me from meeting someone right for me. I respond that I have moved on, meaning I still care for her but don't expect something she is unable to give, I don't have false hopes, have been casually dating and as I told her already, working at making myself a better person for me right now. She offers to let me borrow a book and I do. I didn't ask any questions about her new guy and haven't made any attempts at calling or emailing the last couple weeks. I'm wondering though, cause we see each other at the gym, why would she be acting short, conversations to a minimum when I talk to her? It's not like I say anything about getting back together and have kept conversations casual - just positive, friendly. Honestly, I would like a second chance but haven't told anyone and not even ready myself for a relationship with anyone - personal growth experience has been great and I feel I will have a lot more to offer someone in the future.

[sootie]

She was the one that started calling me - I haven't been calling. Did you read what I wrote? Find another chick? I also have been casually dating as I wrote but you didn't read that either.

[damn2008]

Don't worry about a second chance. You're doing things for her and you're "bragging about them" to her to try and get that second chance that you would like.

Continue on with your personal growth, but make sure you are clearly and mentally doing it for yourself!

At least this looks like you both have been respectful enough to each other to handle this relationship civily and told each other you've "moved on". Though I can tell you this that her limiting her in-person contact with you is possibly also her way of mentally/emotionally moving past you.

Just work on your personal growth..chicks will come to you. At a certain point, you and your ex- will probably reach that phase where you're "comfortable" with one another as proper friends.