What is this girl thinking?

[ed604]

So there's this girl that I met at her workplace while I was volunteering there. I was volunteering there for a month and I got to know many of her co-workers. I didn't really get to talk to this girl until the last week of my volunteering because I told one of her co-workers that I thought this girl was cute. So this co-worker introduced me to her and we started talking. On the last day of my volunteering, I asked this girl for her number and she gave it to me. I also gave her my number. So the next day I gave her a call and she didn't answer. I left a voicemail msg saying hey give me a call when you get this. She didn't give me a call that day. She texted me the next day saying sorry I missed your call bla bla bla... So that was fine with me. She said she is shy to talk on the phone so instead of calling her we began texting each other. It is very casual talk. We got to know some stuff about each other like how long she's been working there, what does she want to take in school, what basketball team she likes, etc.

I really like this girl when I saw her. I would really like to take her out for dinner or something but I just decided to take it easy and don't ask her out right away. It's been a week now of texting lightly. I've texted her 3 times this week and we've had conversation those 3 times. The thing is each time we've talked I've been the one initiating the texting. I feel a connection when we're texting getting to know each other, it's just that she never text me or call me first. So what's up with that? Is she just really shy? Is she playing hard to get? Or is she just being nice entertaining me but she doesn't really like me? What do you ladies think?

[SAVANAH]

I think she might just be shy I mean she gave you her number and she wouldn't have if she didn't want to see you again, keep initiating contact and when you think the time is right then ask her out and once the date is over tell her "call me when before you go to sleep" or something like that to make her more comfortable with the idea and tell her like she should text you when she's ready to chat after supper and maybe that could help her a bit, knowing that you want it could make a big difference.

She just need's a push in the right direction.

And remember she did'nt have to give her your number (think about it if she said no she would never have to see you again, but she said yes)

Just take things slow she seems like that kinda girl.

Good Luck

[ed604]

Hey thanks a lot! It really helps.

Do you think she HAD to give me her number because when I asked for her number it was in front of most of her co-workers? She might have been put in a pressure situation with a lot of her co-workers watching her?

[SAVANAH]

I don't think so as it would've given the co workers the impression that she's interested (as you didn't ask any other co workers, only her) and she didn't mind them thinking that, if you know what I mean....

Either that or she's extremely polite.... I could be wrong... but don't think so...

but don't dwell too much on the what ifs, just go for it, try not to live in regret, you won't know until you try hey.

You have got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

[Yggdrasil]

Something a bit off topic here but "answering machine" brought up something in my subconsious memory but I easily can see this being applied to texting.

On answering machines.

(From my favourite love guru, Doc Love (aka Tom Hodges), cousin of Sall "The Fish" Love.)

When it come to the Battle of the Sexes, women have F16’s and men have BB guns - General Love.
Check yourself, before you wreck yourselff - Ortiz.
Give us a few good men - US Marine Corp.

To a woman, an answering machine is a great weapon. Part of that is due to the fact that men think it is just for leaving messages - how naive! If she can control a part of the communication in a relationship, she can then further her scheming agenda. In Operation Desert Storm, Apache helicopters knocked out Saddam’s radar and communication installation, so his troops in the field couldn’t talk to Baghdad. (Surprise!)

When you leave a message, you give up self-control. You don’t know when or if she got the message. You don’t know when, or if she is going to call back. And you saw none of her body language as she spoke, assuming she returned the call. Waiting isn’t fun. Plus, it leads to misunderstandings. How are you going to judge her Interest Level, when communication is such a gray area? You can’t. everything she does and says has to be black or white in your mind, no loose ands, and absolutely nothing taken for granted. So let’s run a tight ship and do the opposite. No messages for the first sixty days.

You get the home phone number and her answering machine is always on. You call at 6,7,8,9 p.m., and no answer. you do it Monday, Tusday, Wednesday, and get that same silly message. you have a control freak or screener on your hands. Why does she hand out her number to so many guys that she doesn’t want to talk to or date? She’s a female variation of lonely boy! Leave your name, number, and “give me a call” the following Monday, and above all, don’t tell her it’s the 22nd time you have called. (If she has a caller-ID, use a public phone.)

If she calls back (1 in 100) and accepts and keeps the date on the night that you ask her out for, I’ll polish your PT Cruiser!

If you are supposed to go someplace with her, or you are going to meet somewhere, don’t buy into the old “just leave a message with time and/or place” trick. Talk to her, preferably face to face, and get the facts perfectly clear. You have to match her words and actions, and with a third party like an answering machine, she could keep you in the dark.

Have you ever heard, “I thought you meant the other Mall”? “Something must be wrong with my machine.” “It was so late I didn’t want to wake you,” or, “I didn’t call because I had to be at work real early.” “ I thought you meant next Wednesday.” “What message?” And there are a thousand more. The way to beat a bad habit is not to start it.

The key is, to realize that men talk to women, not their answering machines.