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Thread: marriage... help? (long)

  1. #1
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    Jun 2009
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    marriage... help? (long)

    ok so. ive been married for going on 3 years now (im 25). me and my wife met at work then within a week (not exaggerating) we were moved in together. she was my best friend and i loved to spend time with her. we had/have a great relationship. shes beautiful, caring, funny, smart, UNDERSTANDING like you'd never believe.... and yet i find myself constantly tormenting myself with thoughts like "i dont want to be married". i think its worth noting that we worked together during the day and hung out at night for about a year... at which point we said "F it" and quit our jobs (within a month of the decision) to move 900 miles away and live in a tent making beeded earrings for a living. didnt work out 100% like we had thought so we ended up living in a van for about 6 months then we decided to go drive a big rig for a living lol... we did that for 2 years her driving during the day me at night. in january we got off the truck and are now living in our house (mortgage payments but what ever its ours)

    before we met id only had 2 relationships (one was 6 months the other about 2) and i think that might be the problem. i figure if it was me reading this id advice the person to go talk to her about it... the problem is i have lol and her response was i love you very much but if you need to go out and date to realize that what we have is special then i can move in with a friend or my uncle...
    seriously not the response i was expecting lol ;\

    another thing worthy of mention is our sex life isnt the best ... shes almost always wanting to but i find myself uninterested.. lol and before ya ask no im not gay but theres just something that doesnt work with me and her ;(

    if anyone has any advice id really appreciate it because atm im sitting here trying to decide what to do with us. shes a great person and i dont want to make the wrong decision.

    *edit*
    so apparently i didnt have as much to say as i thought... lol not quite a long post eh
    Last edited by Zekang; 09-06-09 at 04:35 PM.

  2. #2
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    Work out the problems between the two of you.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    Married for 3 years, and now the polish is wearing off, huh? I'd say this sounds pretty typical. Marriages ALL go through peaks and valleys.

    Now is the time to decide what your values are. How much do you value your marital commitment? Some people grow bored, and toss out the marriage. Others decide to take their commitment seriously, and look for ways to get through the rough spots. If you have no children, the stakes aren't too high, and you can decide to pursue your pleasure with minimal damage. To be honest though, you'll probably end up in a similar position with the next girl you end up with because boredom comes naturally with familiarity. If you decide you are the kind of guy who honors his commitments, you MUST stop allowing yourself to think about how you shouldn't be married, and focus instead on figuring out how you will move through this hump. You might try finding some (fun) activities to do together... maybe an outdoor sport or dancing. You would probably benefit by having some fun together.

    BTW - please don't get pregnant by accident. You need to figure out your course.

  4. #4
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    ya kno i think hearing that its typical really does help. me and my wife sat down and had a talk about everything. i honestly think the past week has been very good for our relationship. i think a major problem with it has been that we grew apart alot over the past couple years... gotta work on rebuilding what was lost.

    thanks for the advice guys

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