im sick..plz help!!!

**Amisha** · 11-06-09, 04:03 AM

im seeing dis guy for 4 mnths nw..hez nice..initially we were in luv..evrythin gng gr8..i knew initially dt he was selfish,egoistic,dominating,negative thots..bt i luved him..coz i thot dt luv cn change a person..i luved him so so much..nd he also got changed..into a new prsn..bt dt actually made my mind off..i dunno..i cudnt luv him...i cnt luv him..i dunn hv ne rsn...i belong to india..so we dnt usu hv open-communication wid our parents abt bfs nd oll..so my family is completely unaware of dis..bt i hv my aunt who is of same age as my mom..basically shez lyk a mom to me..i made him meet her..she said dt hez jst v. intelligent nd wil earn lots of money in future..bt reast hez over-confident..nd dominating....nd i wil definately hv a hard tym wid him..nd he also belong to low-profile state in india..nd i belong to delhi..metropolitan..so v do hv clashes thinking -wise..i mean hez a bit narrow-minded as well..lyk he doesnt find me tokng to guys nd befrnd wid guys normal..nd many more thins..i tld him oll dis..bt he said dt he luves me nd will always luv me..nd i also luv him..bt i dunno..i said i need tym..he said he cn prove his luv by staying away frm me 3 mnths..dt wil prove his luv for me..its 2 days since dn..i feel lyk nt to gttng back to him..bt dn i feel the guilt inside me..coz i promised to be by his side always..to luv him always...im 19 yrs old ryt nw..nd hez 21 yrs old..i dunn wanna b guilty in his eyes forever..for nt following my words..i cnt help tinking..i dunno whether i luv him or nt..i dunno shud i committed myself to him..evn if im nt sure abt me luving him..hez selfish..may b he leaves me one day deserted...if my aunt didnt lyk him..will my parents eva accept him..dere r many quest gng in my mind..nd my studies r also gettng affected...i lost oll my frnds during 1 yr of dis relationship..coz he jst wanted me to b wid him..nd i gave him oll he wanted..initially evrythng ws gud..nw i dunno...
basically i dunno anything...plzz suggest...plzzzz...wn i tink of my lyf wid him in future..i c myself suffering..he said wn he sees his lyf wid me in future..he finds peace nd happiness...i cnstntly get head-aches..one moment it seems lyk v jst ovrcame a fite or bad tym..bt we shud acknodge dt v r 2gether..bt d oder moment i realise dt wht m i dong..y m wid dis prsn..y m i ruining my lyf..i dunn wanna b guilty..i dunn wanna tell him aftr 3 mnths dt i dunn want u nemore..i wish v cud solve it..bt i find no rsn..coz my soul is nt able to trust him..frm inside dere is no luv for him..bt i cn c his for me sprouting for me..i m hurting sum1 hu badly luves me nd wants me..bt wht cn i do..i cnot luv him back..wn i give him ne explanation f nt being able to b wid him..he luv cn oversum ne difficulty..the reality is i dunn want to b wid him..i dunn want us to b 2gether...i cnt change his nature..i cnt change my thinking..my goal in lyf is nt jst b his wife..i hv my own lyf nd goals..i dunn lyk to b questioned for every single action of mine..
sorry its gttng too long..bt i need suggestions..really..
y shud i b wid him?
y i shud nt b wid him?