Describe your ideal partner.

[doppelgaenger]

Wouldn't mind that I like to have an occasional beer***

[Doc Durian]

23. Has her head screwed on straight, and her priorities mesh perfectly with her wants/needs.... as well as mine.
24. Understands that beauty is more than skin deep.
25. (extreme wish) Willing and capable of dissecting my laptop and finding out why the R key is so difficult to depress, after my having dropped the unit in it's carry on bag just a day earlier. Correcting the issue with some sort of MacGyver-esque rigging would be an added bonus.

[BillyGalbreath]

My ideal partner is surprisingly much more simple than anyone else's I've read here. I only ask for 1 thing. She should have her own mind and be willing to use it for the greater good for herself and the people around her.

[Doc Durian]

That could be any of our mums... or not...

[BillyGalbreath]

Highly doubt that, Doc. As my terms (is that even the right word here??) are simple, I find it very hard to find a woman that meets them.

[Doc Durian]

Like H.L. Mencken said, "On one issue at least, men and women agree: They both distrust women"

[Junket]

My ideal partner is surprisingly much more simple than anyone else's I've read here. I only ask for 1 thing. She should have her own mind and be willing to use it for the greater good for herself and the people around her.

Sorry buddy, I exported one right out of Texas.

[vashti]

So you're fine with the traditional minded woman bucking up on her side of the bargain.. blah blah blah

There's no designer handbags in it, mind you...

Sure, if it is actually financially beneficial. Thanks to all the cheap imports, it isn't usually. (Not the canning, anyway.) Personally, I would have done ALL those things if that was the only way we could afford for me to stay home with my babies. Priorities.

"can't properly support the family" ??

I take issue with the underlying tone of that statement, in it's presented context.

It's got all of the appearances of a feminist playing both sides of the fence, albeit unequally and unconvincingly, toward her delusion's favour.

How many single income earners in a modern marriage are capable of "properly" supporting their families when the modern wife is generally unwilling and/or uncapable of assuming a traditional gender role to that outcome's effect?

I don't know, but all of my peer's did it (for varying lengths of time). Believe it or not, some people actually engage in family planning and SAVE money before they get pregnant. Also, although I am not religiously observant, you won't find me ridiculing religious people.

[Rollerderby]

I want him to be his own person. He needs to have his own goals in life rather than make me his entire world. I need a man who's life is complete without me, but that both wants and in time needs me to be in his. We also need to be able to make each other laugh. And physically attractive, of course, but maybe that's just asking for too much?

[Doc Durian]

Sure, if it is actually financially beneficial. Thanks to all the cheap imports, it isn't usually. (Not the canning, anyway.) Personally, I would have done ALL those things if that was the only way we could afford for me to stay home with my babies. Priorities.

I must be aging in ways I've yet to realize... for I don't recall stating "blah, blah, blah", but it's surely a side issue I'm sure we're sure of now.

Though getting back to the blood and bones of it...

You've made an excuse based on "cheap imports" and a willingness to rise above them if you could have in order to "stay home with your babies"

Did your priorities preclude you from internet seaching for cheap canning, freeze drying, ground cellaring, smoking alternatives.

Have you never noticed the multitude of Bell canning jars just begging to be rescued from any yard sale for any offer of loose change? Only to be supplemented by a fresh box of far cheaper lids (which you find can also be safely reused with an iota of yankee ingenuity)?

Have you read up on the ease of storing root vegetables between layers of sod, straw, and a tarp over the winters months?

Or the space and cost savings of dehydrating your foods in a store bought dehydrator, old fangled solar mesh, or even an oven with it's door half cracked and on low setting?

Did you ever search out the catering suppliers for bulk deals on 24-48-72-96 units at a fraction of the supermarket cost?

Have you ever swapped produce or goods with a neighbour or collective?

Is gardening a dirty word to you, and would it infect the sponge like, inquisitive always yearning and learning minds of the children in you charge to witness and even share in the duties of a garden? (say for instance, picking off tomato bugs into an old coffee can)?

Did you buy up 50 lb bags of rice for a pittance when you saw them thus offered at Sam's Club or any Paki grocer overstocked?

Did you keep a watchful eye for warm childrens and adults clothes AT these garage sales to fend off the flipside of the logical benefits of your turning the thermostat down to 67 throughout the entire winter season?

Did your family pack all of it's lunches.... eating plenty of hearty stews bulk cooked before hand and frozen/canned?

We've only really delved into food, and maybe a few kids sweaters so far....

How far are you willing to go with you delusion?

I don't know, but all of my peer's did it (for varying lengths of time) Believe it or not, some people actually engage in family planning and SAVE money before they get pregnant.

So you're saying that a family can only exist by subsisting on it's prior non-familial savings?

That's all sorts and shades sad.

Also, although I am not religiously observant, you won't find me ridiculing religious people.

Nor I them.

I respect the fact that a religious couple can happily unite and manage a simple life together without the auspices of a slew of Cleo magazine articles riding them hard and putting them up wet...

I may doubt their god, but I don't doubt their adoration of that doubtful god... or it's kindred values and ethics.

Of the blood and bones I spoke of earlier, it actually comes down to indifference, pride, lazyness, and more oft than not.... the incongruities of gender roles and illogical expectations allowed to run amiss over the last 50-100 years.

For all the gains of feminism, it's caused more to be lost.... or in the final throes of floundering towards societal distemper and/or impending death.

But, hey...

If you've got "excuses", smoke them.

[Doc Durian]

26. Doesn't need to be educated on the above writing, as she exudes it in her character.

[vashti]

Wow, what a tirade!

I am not going to bother to answer every one of your questions, but I want to say that I grew up poor. REALLY poor. I have no problem cutting costs when necessary, and I certainly have many times in my life. And actually, yes I HAVE done several of the things you mentioned, though it's true I don't any more.

I'm not sure what your idea of a delusion is. I am surmising that it has something to do with your income level and your experiences. It doesn't sound like we have similar circumstances. Fortunately for you, some women don't mind acting as if they are in a traditional household while being expected to also work full time. ::shrug::

I'm also not sure how you went off on a rant about feminism.

[Doc Durian]

Wow, what a tirade!

I am not going to bother to answer every one of your questions,

Read: "can't"

but I want to say that I grew up poor. REALLY poor. I have no problem cutting costs when necessary, and I certainly have many times in my life. And actually, yes I HAVE done several of the things you mentioned, though it's true I don't any more.

Alternately, I grew up in a large family with a single, but ambitious bread earner who wouldn't have either if not for the dogged insistance of his blue collar reared Irish Catholic bride... one of 11, incidentally.

Their estate remains to this day one of frugality and unknown wealth... but their best investment, by far, were their 6 sons and 1 daughter... all living by their own means.

I'm not sure what your idea of a delusion is. I am surmising that it has something to do with your income level and your experiences. It doesn't sound like we have similar circumstances.

Red herring duly recorded.

Fortunately for you, some women don't mind acting as if they are in a traditional household while being expected to also work full time. ::shrug::

Red herring number two tinned and preserved with the other.

I'm also not sure how you went off on a rant about feminism.

Another inconsistency of modern feminism you've inadvertantly highlighted, of, yourself.

[IndiReloaded]

So you're fine with the traditional minded woman bucking up on her side of the bargain, and canning produce through the year, freezing game/bulk bought meats, budgeting and keeping her family industriosly in the principles of Benjamin Franklin's Dick Saunders Almanack and subscribing to the now nearly lost homespun wisdom of the many ages?

There's no designer handbags in it, mind you...

Why should a traditional-minded woman do all that stuff? That makes no sense, unless the couple are Amish or something.

The one at home would do things to maximize the household with whatever tools are best able to accomplish this. In today's society, that might means thing like researching major purchases over the internet (to save the family money), or using the same to pull educational resources for one's children. Or saving car/gas trips by setting up internet banking?

I can tell you've never done canning and such, Doc. I have; it was a fun thing to learn to do. Same as knitting & using a sewing machine. Not too many young gals know how to do these things anymore. Why should they? Its MUCH cheaper to do an efficient shop or buy clothes on sale than it is to make them oneself. Ever actually bought wool for a sweater or scarf? You could buy several for the cost of a couple decent balls of yarn. LOL.

[starbuck]

Will dress neatly and try to look good even for a lazy sunday afternoon indoors.

Bored George would hate me. I'm all about the sweatpants on a lazy Sunday.