My Jen

[Scoobster]

Jen,

Sorry, its like an apologie that can be meant or not meant. You get in a huge fight with someone, and then say your sorry. but does that cover the most of it? the hurt feelings are still left... nothing turns a girl on more, than hearing her man say hes sorry, and he really REALLY means it... I've heard many things about people and being sorry, for anger, for love, for involvment, everything. But what i can say from being sorry, is that i'm not.

Words can sometimes hurt more than actions, cuz words stick with you forever. You can either forgive that person, or let go. But sometimes like i said, saying sorry is meant, or not meant...so here it is

Sorry I ruined your memories, you shattered my love, I would've walked away happy, knowing that we shared a great love, now I regret every caress, every tear shed over you fighting,
I wish it didn't happen, then I feel guilty for my wishes.

Sorry is never good enough. It IS only a word after all...and if you have to say sorry, then there was something you did wrong that you shouldn't have done wrong in the first place. I hate the word, but i use it all the time. and of course, sorry isn't good enough and neither is anything else.

I'm a chronic **** up. I'm afraid there is no hope for me. I'm really sorry. I feel like an ass. Im sorry for hurting you, Im sory for ruining everything we worked so hard on for so long. Im sorry you ever knew me, you deseve so much more that what Ive put you through. im sorry I ever existed in your heart. Im sorry you loved me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you but it's life, and it goes on. That's what it's meant for. Mistakes are sometimes the best things that can happen. Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you Sorry I wanted only to kiss you Sorry I promised to love you forever and made you feel guilty when you left me

What can I do? It's over it's over it's over it's over What can I do? I am the loser

Sorry I say sorry so much...even though i stand strong were i am i have always been put in a position in my life no matter what that people have made me try to feel like i am wrong or something was my fault...so lil things that are nothing at all i apologize for...just another bad habit i am trying to break. Sorry that i do not blather as much as i used to...i just feel so...vunerable using this computer...and while at school i have so much other stuff goin i do not have time...i will make time...i will do anything for you...even if it is as simple as just typing something for you to read...i miss u....I am sorry that i didn't find myself BEFORE we got together, and i have to go and hurt us both and try and do it now.... i'm sorry i get drunk all the time it just helps me forget...

Have we fallen out of love? That look in your eyes i can't read anymore. You are the most important part of my life. Only you can make me feel as if my life is no longer worth living. If you accidentally knock into someone who you don't know, will they care much if you say sorry? If you don't say something will they think you're rude? Would you even care if they thought you were? You don't know them; it doesn't matter. Just keep walking and save your breath... remember that Jen sitting in Philosophy with you?....I feel like the worst person in the world for what i did to you.If i could go back i would change it all i would respect you and respect myself more...Skomitmo In Spanish, its Lo Siento: I feel it.. doesn't this accomplish so much more?

knowing that i havent even expirenced 99% of my life, you can't completely comprehend what ive lost through this past year. Ive ****ed up too many lives, including my own to begin fixing. i dont even know where to start. the only thing i can say is im terribly sorry for being a grade-a **** up, and i hope i wont be remembered as one. people just take what they need and go.. people do not want to help me when i hurt, they just want me to be strong all of the time and let me deal with it. im done dealing...

I'm sorry you ever met me, and stumbled onto my pointless existence. I'm sorry you felt the need to try to help me and became so close to my heart. I'm sorry that i wanted more from you, more than just a friendship, something special which i got. I'm sorry i was like i was before we became one. I'm sorry for hurting you on so many occasions. I'm sorry for wanting to see you all the time and just annoying you. I'm sorry that i couldn't leave you alone. . I'm sorry i spoiled so many of your fun drinking nights. I'm sorry i used to message you all day long and at all hours of the night. I'm sorry i used to call you whenever i was upset. I'm sorry i used to come round and visit you when i was upset that you weren't talking to me. I'm sorry for making both you and your parents mad at me. I'm sorry for never giving you enough space away from me. I'm sorry for making you feel you were mine when you didnt want to be. I'm sorry that i loved you when you didnt want that from me. I'm sorry for expressing my feelings to you so often and so much when you didnt want to hear them. I'm sorry i went out and got drunk all of those nights. I'm sorry i didnt plead more for you to come with me. I'm sorry i ****ed someone else who wasn't you. I'm sorry i made you feel like shit. I'm sorry if i ruined any of your friendships. I'm sorry if i ruined your life and for showing you how horrible i am. I'm sorry for loving you so much that i want to be with you forever. I'm sorry i cared so much about you and didnt like you going out. I'm sorry i tried to protect you from people who would hurt you. The last thought in my head was that it would be me. I'm sorry you had to put up with me for so long. I'm sorry you had to pretend to be nice to me so i didnt get upset. I'm sorry you had to pretend you loved me so i wouldnt get upset. I'm sorry that i hurt you. I'm sorry that i loved you. I'm sorry that i want only you forever. I'm sorry i cant do this alone. I'm sorry i cant live without you. I'm sorry that i will never see you again. I'm sorry that you ever met me because i didnt want to cause you so much pain. I am truly sorry that i loved you and am so attatched to you. I'm sorry for everything my Jen or Gozde. I'm sorry for being me. I'm so sorry.

When darkness falls sorry i treated you like shit, sorry i ****ed up so many times, then apologized and then ****ed up again and again... sorry i yelled and screamed so many times without reason, sorry i was so promiscuous, if i could turn back time i would, but hands of time only move in one direction, sorry i moved out... this should've probably never happened, and now that i think of it every day, more and more i regret it... life sux without you.

Love always
Nick

[Scoobster]

Im not sure what path I should take towards getting back with my fate

Please help.Nick