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Thread: Should I date my long-time friend??

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Portland, OR
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    2

    Should I date my long-time friend??

    I've know this girl for about 6 years know, and while there has always been some mutual attraction there, neither of us had ever acted on it, and as for me, I was unaware of her attraction to me (I always considered her "out of my league").

    But just recently, after me breaking up with my girlfriend of three years, she decide to broach the subject and express her interest in me. She also expressed her reluctance to act on it, fearing a loss of a friendship if things didn't work out. Now our mutual attraction to one another is out in the open and I'm not sure what to do here.

    As of know she has a "boyfriend" andis using him as a reason to bury these feelings away again. This "boyfriend" is not a serious one, as they've only known each other for a couple of months, and she planned on breaking up with him anyway. So I don't see him as anyhting other than a way not to do anything and keep things "normal" between us. But know, with everyhting out in the open, I can't be around her and act normal now...

    Any advice out there?

    thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Florida
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    470
    The reality is that once you cross the line from friendship into something more it's very difficult to go back to being friends. (Some would say it's impossible.) However the benefits could be incredible - here's someone you know and enjoy spending time with AND you're attracted to? Isn't that what most people are looking for?

    I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend. - Jack Handy

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    England, Somerset
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    470
    You never know she might turn out to be your soul mate. go for it! do something. you wont go back very easily as jslaughter just said. so why not?
    - Claire -

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Cali
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    615
    that's pretty much what I'm looking for. someone i can be in love with and at the same time share my life with as far as best friends and the like. i think that's what marriage was meant for as well. but ya go for it. if you two are friends like that, it should be easy to find the compromise if the relationship were to fail. it's a risk worth taking.
    "Don't be afraid to fail because only through failure do you
    learn to succeed." "Oh and be careful what you do...you'll never know who's watching..."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    England
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    27
    If there's an attraction on your part, then go for it! U don't know how lucky you are. I would give anything to be in ur shoes right now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    30
    if i asked a girl out, and she said no could we still be freinds like we were before?
    Pods-14 year old male, soon to be sophomore

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Somewhere in the land of sweet dreams
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    45
    I'm going along with everyone else and saying "Go for it!" A relationship is built on several things like love, honesty, committment, communication, the list goes on... But one of those is FRIENDSHIP, and you two already have that. You could be missing out on some amazing times together, so go for it and see where life takes you! You never know, like others have been saying, she could be your soulmate. Hope everything turns out great!
    "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
    -Moulin Rouge

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    2
    Well, the "Go for it" idea sounds like the winner. thanks for the advice...sometimes you need to know that your not the only one with that idea.

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