Me and my girlfriend. Restrictive parents.

[thechampanon]

Okay, so me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 months now. For background info, we have religious differences, I tend to see her family as somewhat lower class (obviously I don't show nor say these things to her family. Her mom really likes me, but her step-dad doesn't like me because I am Muslim and he's a d*ck), and we have a no sex relationship. We aren't for that. We are each 16 years old.

So the problem.... her parents have some stupid rules. We aren't allowed to see eachother alone. We must see eachother with people her mom knows personally, There is only THREE people her mom trusts. So I always have to see her with her parents at her house, or out somewhere with those three people. It's ridiculous! Two of the three I don't like much. The one who is alright, can usually not do anything.

So this week I want my girlfriend to go to the movies with my two best friends but her parents won't let her go unless one of those three goes. (Once again the one I think is cool, cannot go). I don't want to invite my girlfriends' friend. I don't want her company, and it's pretty damn rude for her parents not to give two craps if they force someone in on our group.

Also we live far away and I can usually see her only once a week due to her parents' rules. Mainly her step-dad is the d*ck, but her mom ALWAYS appeases him. My girlfriend is extremely passive. She refuses to disrespect/rebel against her parents to make change although she doesn't get respect from them anyway.

I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I hate it, but I love her. What should I do? I've been thinking about maybe talking to her parents but they are low class, close-minded, idiots. So I don't know. So I'm open to all suggestions.

Side note- I used to be crazy into my bestfriend, and I hang out with her a lot, and I think my feelings are coming back, but I keep burying them. It's hard when you combine all this.

Anyway, thank you.

[ecojeanne]

her parents are right. i think that if they wanted to be really tough they wouldn't have let you see her at all. be grateful for the time you have with her. her parents are protecting her. someday you'll understand when you get older and if you become a parent

[thechampanon]

No, they are wrong and overprotective.

She was born when her mom was 18. Her mom knows nothing about how to be a good parent. My parents are the example of good parenting.

What 16 year old girl, (going on 17 in August and going to be a senior) can't hang out with people? Seriously?

I'm a good guy, she is a good girl, but her parents still don't trust her or me but we have never done anything to lose their trust, and she's never done anything in her life to make her parents not trust her. She's a good church girl and stuff.

If I were christian she thinks her parents would let us out more.

[ecojeanne]

you're a guy that likes her daughter. she is doing the right thing for her daughter, like i said one day you may understand

[thechampanon]

But there is no reason for us not to be trusted. Just because it seems like "the norm" doesn't mean it is right.

I'm looking for a solution to the problem, not back up for her parents. Sorry but I can't get much support from those responses.

[ecojeanne]

the problem here is that she belongs to a family that values her more than you, whether you like it or not. trust is earned not given. you just have to accept it. over time as you prove yourself then i can guarantee that things will change and she will have more freedom. if you want to spend time with her you just have to put up with what her parent want. that's life

[Spicy]

Grow up, perhaps if you didn't come off as a pompous, immature brat, you would have more liberties. Her parents are protecting HER, they don't owe you anything.


Life's not fair and trust has to be earned, deal with it.

[thechampanon]

Grow up, perhaps if you didn't come off as a pompous, immature brat, you would have more liberties. Her parents are protecting HER, they don't owe you anything.


Life's not fair and trust has to be earned, deal with it.

I don't act pompous at all to them. I am extremely respectful.... Hypocritical, yes I am. I'm awesome in front of them but I don't really like them.

[m0viejunkie]

I think it is slightly immature to call her family "lower class", especially since she seems to respect what they want for her. I understand that you are extremely frustrated, but once again, her parents are trying to protect her. Maybe you should try to talk to her parents about the situation, in a non judgmental way, and try to reason out something better for the both of you.

On your comment about how her mom was pregnant at 18, the reason why she is extremely overprotective is because she does not want her daughter to experience what she did. Being pregnant at that young is not easy, and I don't think you deserve to criticize her based off of that.

[JohnnyGileaid]

Grow up, perhaps if you didn't come off as a pompous, immature brat, you would have more liberties. Her parents are protecting HER, they don't owe you anything.


Life's not fair and trust has to be earned, deal with it.

I definitely think that the OP sounds like a complete dick, but I do think that her parents are being a bit too restrictive. My parents were extremely restrictive when I was younger, telling me I couldn't date at all until I was out of college!

Of course, I did anyway without them knowing and always felt abandoned by them that I couldn't really talk with them about love advice and stumbled through girlfriends really badly at first. To this day I have a bad relationship with my parents because of this and have never talked to them about my love life or shown any of my girlfriends to them (I'm a 22). I honestly never plan to until I am just about to get married (if that ever happens).

My example is pretty extreme though.

[ecojeanne]

gosh parents always get a rough ride even when they do the right thing

[VeryIntrigued]

gosh parents always get a rough ride even when they do the right thing

Usually the kid appreciates it at some point in their life, usually many years later. Assuming of course said kid decides to stop being bitter and grow up.


To the OP all I have to say is, grow up. I know it's frustrating but try to understand their perspective. After all you two are only 16. If you continue to let your hatred consume you as it is currently doing, I can guarantee it will ruin this relationship. In that case you'd have no one to blame but yourself.

[Rollerderby]

On your comment about how her mom was pregnant at 18, the reason why she is extremely overprotective is because she does not want her daughter to experience what she did. Being pregnant at that young is not easy, and I don't think you deserve to criticize her based off of that.

This is a great point.

She clearly respects her parents wishes. You do not. What makes you think that if you don't like how they raise their child, that you will ever approve of other decisions she may have along the way. They raised her, she is going to have some of their ideals.

I think you should not make this a race issue if it's not overt. I think it's more likely that the mom does not want her daughter to end up preggers. Lots of guys say the have good intentions, but that doesn't mean they don't want a lil nookie on the side.

I think they might also want to make it hard to scare the assholes off. Like you sound like you might be. Especially if you are starting to have feelings for someone else.

If you like her, put up with it. You can't change them, and unless you plan on marrying her sometime soon, you aren't going to be making the rules anytime soon.

[Petit Papillon]

Be glad that Your gf don`t read the things You write here. I`d be mad if my bf started to call my parents idiots, dic*s and lower class people. I`d kick his mo`fo`ass and tell everybody that he`s a gay ...
You`re lower class guy if You judge her parents just because they protect their daugther from bad guys.