Saw pictures of my girlfriend and her ex having sex (graphic). What should I do?

[Lonely Island]

Pics or GTFO

[loyolaman2006]

Thanks all for the advice. The biggest thing that I was trying to find out is that if I am being immature or not. Trust me, I know people have pasts ....... but that's just what they are PASTS. However, its as if this is a present thing for me. I mean its real. Almost tangible. I can picture it vividly. I know what he looks like. I know what IT looks like. I mean try to put yourself in my shoes. Try to imagine finding something like that. It consumes me. I think I am going to try and get over it but the thing that is worrying me is that I will never fully put the situation behind me. I mean I will inevitably picture it from time to time and it is near to impossible to not react negatively towards it.

Note to all ............. don't look through pictures even if you think they are harmless. You never know what you will find.

[Petit Papillon]

Hmmm well I did find kind a like this pics , also àccidentaly`and it was with my ex Well it wasn`t pics of him with somebody,but pics of a girl who send him this while we`ve been together... Well, dunno like for You,but year after , and even still now ,tho I`m not with him anymore, I can remind me how they looked like... So You have to decide whether You can get over it or You have to move on, if You know that those pics will haunt You

[IndiReloaded]

What is it that bothers you about the pics? The fact they exist (meaning she took nudie pics & that make her a slut) or that you found them & saw what you didn't want to see?

1. Find a new GF who doesn't do that dumb stuff.

2. Take your own nudie pics and delete the old ones.

[Beach Life]

You have not overreacted. I found some incredibly vile photos of my wife's ex masturbating and screwing a blow up doll while she watched. She is a great lady, but the photos are etched in my mind. We both need to get over it. Life is too short.

[DoesntMatter]

You should jerk off a voluminous amount of semen onto her computer screen with the pictures still up, and then leave a small note stating the relationship is over

[Ferrari99]

I would find it hard to move on. This would bother me. I would have just deleted the pics so no one would have them and left for good. Get out now before your with her for ten years

[Mish]

I don't understand what the big deal is. Everyone has sex, this happened long before the OP's time, he should just accept it and get over it. She didn't cheat on him, she didn't do anything wrong. This whole thing stinks of emo.

[lesa]

So you are dumping her because you are traumatized by visual images from her past?

[m0viejunkie]

You have to realize that you are the one that is making her happy and pleasing her now. Obviously they broke up, so you are the better person for her, and whether you're looking at it with some kind of jealousy or that the images alone only bother you, you have to let it go.

Look at it in a perspective that if she found pictures with you and a girl you were with before her. You know that the girl means nothing to you now, so you wouldn't want her to think that there's anything there in the pictures. You wouldn't want her to overreact and think about them over and over again, because in the end, they are worthless.

I do believe her that she forgot they were on her computer. She probably hasn't even looked at her senior year folder in a while and as a woman, if I did something like that, I might forget too and then regret having them on there.

I don't think it's fair for you to judge her based on that, even though I totally understand why you would. Images like that are hard to erase.

Just let it go and start to remember all of the wonderful experiences and sex that you both have had now, rather than hold something over her head and ruin the relationship.

[soulsurvivor23]

An important question I have is, what did she do with the pictures at that point. Did she delete them?

[loyolaman2006]

I'm not sure what she did with the pictures. When I saw them I simply left them up on her computer and I left her house without saying goodbye. She didn't know why I left until she went back into her room to find them on her laptop. I'm guessing she deleted them. At this point if she didn't I would have to say that it would be officially over no matter what.

I have to affirm to everyone that I'm not mad at the pictures themselves. The biggest thing in this whole ordeal is that I simply don't think I can get the image out of my head. I mean any time that we are about to be intimate from now on they are going to pop into my brain whether or not I want them too. Im not jealous really its more of a disgusted feeling. I really wish I could just erase the memory but its impossible.

I guess I'm trying to figure out if I should just call it quits and tell myself that its just something that I cant forget. Or should I try to mend the relationship even though I know it is going to cause problems in the future. It might not lead to the end in the future but I am sure that it will haunt me in one fashion or another.

Thanks to all for your responses

[Gigabitch]

I'm curious too.

[Chimerawrrr]

Alrightttt.
You can find temporary solutions to this problem - i.e. "forgetting about it" or "not thinking about it".
But if you really want to solve it once and for all you have to get to the CORE.
Now I would be really ****ing upset if I saw something like that on my girlfriend's computer, and yes I would consider breaking up, and yes I wouldn't be able to get the images out of my head. But first thing to realise is that these emotions are temporary. Trust me, in a week, you'll feel a bit better. In two weeks, better still. In a month, much much better.

Take a break from the relationship. Do not break up, just calmly say, "I need to take a break from seeing you but I want the relationship to go on".

As each day goes by, the emotions will recede and you will be able to think more logically. This is good.
Think about whether you really want to get over it or not. Is it worth it? Do not answer this question if you are clouded by emotions.

If you doo want to get over it, a change of attitude is needed. Go from "I secretly feel a bit jealous and that my girl has been with other guys and did intimate stuff with them. A bit inadequate perhaps, or a need to do better than them. Insecure." to something like "Who gives a shit. I love her unconditionally and I do trust her and I would actually wait in line while she screwed other guys for my turn because she is such a ****ing awesome chick."

Of course, do this only if you want to.
Confidence is knowing you have enough.
Jeesh I hope this helped because I am going on holiday tomorrow and I should be sleeping!

[Mish]

I have to affirm to everyone that I'm not mad at the pictures themselves. The biggest thing in this whole ordeal is that I simply don't think I can get the image out of my head. I mean any time that we are about to be intimate from now on they are going to pop into my brain whether or not I want them too. Im not jealous really its more of a disgusted feeling. I really wish I could just erase the memory but its impossible.

I guess I'm trying to figure out if I should just call it quits and tell myself that its just something that I cant forget. Or should I try to mend the relationship even though I know it is going to cause problems in the future. It might not lead to the end in the future but I am sure that it will haunt me in one fashion or another.

I still don't understand why you can't get over it. It sounds like a YOU problem that you will carry over into all of your relationships as most people had sex with their exs (unless you find a virgin). You can just as easily have this problem with all of your future partners if you don't find a way to get over it now.