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Thread: pretty basic questions

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2

    pretty basic questions

    Here's my situation:

    I'm 18, I've graduated high school, and I'm going to college in the fall. I've only had 1 relationship, and it was only for my first 2 years of high school. In other words, I've been on a 2 year drought. Since that relationship, I've never gone beyond light flirting (except 1 situation with the ex, but that isn't going anywhere). The only other girl that I almost got anywhere with ended up having a boyfriend, and that's where things died off.

    Anyway, first problem:

    Where do I meet girls?
    Outside of school, I've just been clueless about this. I've had someone suggest parties, but I never hear about and thus never go to parties, so that isn't an option. Any time I travel somewhere, I have a specific reason to do so, whether it be shopping or whatever. As for clubs, I don't see how that could be a comfortable atmostphere and on top of that, I don't know of any local clubs. The only clubs I know of are in a big city somewhat near where I live and are all 21+.

    How do I approach the girl?
    This is my #1 problem. The whole "be yourself" thing is dumb, because being myself is sitting back and waiting for her to come to me. In order to approach a girl I'm attracted to, I'd have to do something I'm very not used to and have no idea how to do. I really need a lot of help with this.

    What kind of conversation do I start/how do I start it?
    Simply put, what do I start babbling about after approaching?

    When is it okay to ask for phone number/e-mail address/screen name/whatever?

    What the hell is a date?
    Dinner and a movie? Coffee? Isn't there a better excuse to just talk to someone face to face? The dinner and a movie thing seems like something for people who are already "going out" together, not for people who are getting to know each other.

    Thanks for reading and I hope to get some helpful responses.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    470
    You are in a really unique situation - college is a great time to meet people! Every semester you are exposed to new potential friends and new potential girlfriends. So college will help you tackle some of your issues - where can you meet girls - class, the dorm, the library, parties, etc.

    As for HOW you meet them - try sitting next to a girl, saying hi in the hall waiting for class, if you wait for them to come to you - honey you may be waiting a long long time.

    As for what to talk about common ground is always a good place to start - - class, cafeteria food, dorm life, etc.

    A date is anything you do together - coffee, dinner and movie, a picnic, a hike, studying together, etc.

    I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend. - Jack Handy

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2
    I understand that college is a great place to meet people, but I want to get things started for myself this summer. Before going to college, it'd be nice to have a good short relationship and a little bit more experience with girls under my belt. On top of that, I have 3 months of summer with not a whole lot to do.

    As for meeting girls outside of school, suggestions I got on another board were volunteering for something and hobbies. Doing volunteer work doesn't interest me that much (though I may look into a political something if that would get me anywhere) and my hobbies don't get me out much (basketball, video games, music (just listening to music, not concerts or anything)).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Basildon, Essex, England
    Posts
    31
    I'm assumin you're from america because here in England it's 18+ in clubs. Meeting people in the summer can be easy, summer the girls go to the park etc. Get you and few friends and go to the park to chill out and people know people and maybe you'll introduced to a girl.

    With the converstation talk about common situations. The weather, or if you both know someone talk about them. Just come across open and approachable don't hide away be upfront but too pushy give them some space.

    Bivio

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