I feel so....stupid?

[Nothing]

I feel like a completely worthless stupid idiot after my ex gf broke up with me. After several months in a relationship, she just cut me out of her life with a 15 second voice message, went running back to her ex and I haven't seen her since.
Its clear to me now that she had just been trying to get rid of me but didn't know how. She wanted to end it but didn't want to face up to it, which is why she doesn't want to talk about it. She prefers him so he must be better than me. She just used me.

I want to move on but I feel so stupid and worthless. I feel so inferior because she picked him over me. I must be a really crap person for her to just get rid of me without a second thought. My self esteem has just been crushed. I feel like a nobody, especially as lots of people are always rejecting me anyway. I'm 18 and shes the only girl I've ever had any kind of relationship with. Now I'm alone again and no one wants me. I was stupid to think anyone would love me in the first place.

I don't know how to deal with this feeling. Please help? Thanks.

[vashti]

(I hope the "tough love" approach is helpful for you.)

Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Pretty much everyone over the age of 21 has gone through this at one time or another. Why should you be any different? You got hurt, and that is too bad. Brush your pants off, give yourself time to lick your wounds, and get back up into the saddle.

One additional word of advice: NEVER talk the way you did above to a girl. It is a total turn-off. Fake some confidence if you don't genuinely feel it.

Good luck.

[tiffamber12]

nothing, dont get frustrated it hurts so much cause its the first time you got hurt.
its a weird feeling, cry let it all out. and then decide that your better, be excited for the future cause its not over right now.
loving someone isnt everything in life, first love and enjoy life go out have fun, get a pet.

[Gigabitch]

Rejection is messing with your head and making you think crazy things. You need time to get yourself back in order.

Anyone that would dump a boyfriend of several months via cell phone is an ASSHOLE. Anything she thinks about you cannot, therefore, be taken seriously.

Get it? She's an asshole and you'll feel better about it eventually. You're just in process.

[Lonely Island]

I have been in this exact same situation

It hurts like hell......but you will eventually get over it

Remember: Your better than her

[Yggdrasil]

Remember life before her?

You never needed her to be happy in the first place.

The rest is all in your mind. Seriously.

Surround yourself with supportive friends (not the ones that tell you to get back to her), keep yourself busy, don't think to much about the past and what could have been or might have been, and give yourself time to heal from this.

You'll come out stronger.

[Cbrider]

Anyone that would dump a boyfriend of several months via cell phone is an ASSHOLE.

If you don't have the courage to end something correctly you shouldn't be in a relationship IMO.

[ecojeanne]

You see this is the biggest mistake we as humans make, no matter what you think; one person is not better than another. Success, one’s worth and perceived social hierarchy is subjective. But what you need to understand is we all have different preferences. This basically means that we all have different tastes. We all want some of the same things but that doesn’t mean that what the majority wants means it’s what’s best for you or even what you want and same goes for her. We all have our flaws, you do, I do and she does. So she broke up with you…how does that make you any more worthless or any better than anyone else. You thought you were ok before the break up right? So why just because she broke up with you does that make you any different now? Just coz she chose to be with another guy doesn’t mean anything in regard to your worth. So like vash said dust yourself off and enjoy the fact that it was a learning experience and you will find that having break ups actually help because they make you realise what to avoid next time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. First time is gonna be the hardest but certainly don’t start putting yourself down because of it. you will need some time to cry and get over it but after a while that feeling WILL go away.

cheer up bud, you know you ain't that bad

[Mish]

I feel like a nobody, especially as lots of people are always rejecting me anyway. I'm 18 and shes the only girl I've ever had any kind of relationship with. Now I'm alone again and no one wants me. I was stupid to think anyone would love me in the first place.

I don't know how to deal with this feeling. Please help? Thanks.

Ofcourse you are not a nobody and you are not worthless. You deserve love, just not from someone low like her. Why would you want to be loved by a looser / user anyway? She probably got dumped by her ex as well, which is why she ran back to him when he was open to use her. You don't need love from an insecure girl like that, find someone who is worthy to be with you.

[soulsurvivor23]

Everyone goes through their first heart break at sometime or another. There's very few people who don't experience that feeling, and it's really not the end of the world. So as an above poster said, let it run it's course, be sad about it, yell, cry, do whatever you've got to do. Then brush yourself off and get back in the game. Trust me, you're young. There are others out there even though right now it seems hopeless.

[Gigabitch]

You see this is the biggest mistake we as humans make, no matter what you think; one person is not better than another.

Oh, bullshit. I'm better than his ex because I would NEVER do what she did to him.

[ecojeanne]

Glad to hear it, what i was saying was that he shouldn't let it affect his self worth. he is still the same person he was before the break up and he is not worthless as he now seems to perceive himself to be. the way she broke up with him was not nice but that must be down to her courage or her own particular flaws, who knows what her reasons were, but what i do know is that he should look at the situation as a learning experience and not put himself down. the more he allows himself to think that the more he will start to believe it. And thats the rocky road to nowhere.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, I know, but you're sometimes too fair, Eco.

[IndiReloaded]

Too PC, I would say. She knows its unfair. Some people really do suck and its okay to decide you don't want anything to do with them.

Whats unspoken in that statement is that anyone, anytime can choose to 'not suck'. But its up to them to make it so. Meantime, most of us have enough shit on our own plates that we are under no obligation to solve theirs. In fact, even if we *don't* have shit on our plates (b/c we worked on ours), I would still say we are under no obligation to solve theirs. Martyrs and goodie-goods need not comment here. The well-earned reward is to *enjoy* your shit-free existence, its so relatively rare and often doesn't last.

FWIW.

[ecojeanne]

lol indi...your comment reminds me of the saying: everyone for themselves and God for us all.