Potential for Bad...

[vashti]

I think you spend too much time in self-reflection, and it is making you think you are abnormal.

Everyone has moments where they believe they could hurt someone (or themselves), or do something "bad". I am totally non-violent, but one time I was so mad at my stepson I actually had taken the shoe off my foot to throw at him before I caught myself.

The people you surround yourself with have done much to warrant anger, and sometimes anger is appropriate. Like indi said, you aren't responsible for your thoughts, but rather, your actions.

I think you should look for a stress outlet - maybe running?

[Junket]

Why shouldn't we be responsible for our thoughts. It takes a thought to make a word, a word to make an action.

Because nobody else can hold you responsible for your thoughts, either.

[IndiReloaded]

Why shouldn't we be responsible for our thoughts. It takes a thought to make a word, a word to make an action.

This should be obvious, but the answer is: at each step there is a choice. It is the choice that entails responsibility. You can choose to let the thought become a word/action or not. Very very few individuals are able to control their thoughts. Those who can only do it in a very limited sense.

[Aeradalia]

I think you spend too much time in self-reflection, and it is making you think you are abnormal.

On anything else I would agree with you. I do spend a lot of time in self-reflection... but according to the general consensus I am 'abnormal.' Though as to whether this has a psychological basis or a genetic one is still in debate with those who explore and define such things.

Everyone has moments where they believe they could hurt someone (or themselves), or do something "bad". I am totally non-violent, but one time I was so mad at my stepson I actually had taken the shoe off my foot to throw at him before I caught myself.

I can certainly relate with such things from when I was much younger. However, I haven't felt such anger in a very long time. Even now, I am more disappointed in how things turned out than really angry. Probably bordering on depressed at times.

This isn't what I'm talking about though. Anger was used as an example... one that fit in rather nicely... to demonstrate something inherent in a person that can seem harmless but eventually become something bad if left unchecked.

The people you surround yourself with have done much to warrant anger, and sometimes anger is appropriate. Like indi said, you aren't responsible for your thoughts, but rather, your actions.

I am happy to say I am not surrounded by such people any more. So my anger is mostly diminished.

I have learned the benefits of searching for those who can relate to my 'problem' and it is most helpful. They have given me much insight to some of my motivations and some peace of mind knowing that there are some things I can do.

I think you should look for a stress outlet - maybe running?

I do exercise, draw, write, and many other things. However, in regards to this... I've found the best stress relief is just talking about it. As simple as that sounds... it really does help.

[Aeradalia]

This should be obvious, but the answer is: at each step there is a choice. It is the choice that entails responsibility. You can choose to let the thought become a word/action or not. Very very few individuals are able to control their thoughts. Those who can only do it in a very limited sense.

I understand this concept, and have wrestled with learning to control my thoughts... only to learn that though I can control the process of a thought becoming word or action... I cannot prevent some thoughts from occuring in the first place.

It leaves me feeling frustrated at times, but I suppose life wouldn't be interesting without a few mysteries.

[IndiReloaded]

I understand this concept, and have wrestled with learning to control my thoughts... only to learn that though I can control the process of a thought becoming word or action... I cannot prevent some thoughts from occuring in the first place.

It leaves me feeling frustrated at times, but I suppose life wouldn't be interesting without a few mysteries.

If it helps, you don't control your thought by thinking about how to control them. Sorry I can't be much more help than that, except the answer is in there. It really depends on what kind of thoughts are bothering you. You are right tho, its generally not worth it to worry about what thoughts might come.

[Gribble]

I'm a pretty calm and reasonable guy most of the time. My adrenaline does kick in when someone insults me and I do have to struggle to maintain my composure, but so long as it's me that's being insulted and not a loved one I can keep my cool.

However, I know that if something did happen to a person I loved I would turn into an absolute monster. It's more than beating up a guy or killing him. I mean ****ing Jeffrey Dahmer shit. I mean targeting his loved ones and saving him for last. Crazy shit like that.

There are few people on this Earth that I love. Let's hope nobody messes with them. Any shred of humanity or morality would go right out the window.

In my case I really don't care if I snap. For the most part whoever's on the receiving end will be deserving. In your case I think you need to first realize that you're not alone. Everyone has demons. Everyone has sick kinks they don't want known. They may not exactly be acceptable, but you don't need to feel like one freak in a sea of normalcy.

[Yggdrasil]

As long at you don't turn into something like this... you should be ok.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klivaSYbLu8"]YouTube - Best Scenes Of The Exorcist[/ame]

[IndiReloaded]

So, you don't want children b/c you'll beat the living snot out of her first BF? LOL.

[Aeradalia]

I'm a pretty calm and reasonable guy most of the time. My adrenaline does kick in when someone insults me and I do have to struggle to maintain my composure, but so long as it's me that's being insulted and not a loved one I can keep my cool.

However, I know that if something did happen to a person I loved I would turn into an absolute monster. It's more than beating up a guy or killing him. I mean ****ing Jeffrey Dahmer shit. I mean targeting his loved ones and saving him for last. Crazy shit like that.

There are few people on this Earth that I love. Let's hope nobody messes with them. Any shred of humanity or morality would go right out the window.

In my case I really don't care if I snap. For the most part whoever's on the receiving end will be deserving. In your case I think you need to first realize that you're not alone. Everyone has demons. Everyone has sick kinks they don't want known. They may not exactly be acceptable, but you don't need to feel like one freak in a sea of normalcy.

No wonder you don't feel a strong connection with the women you date.

It's not that you don't know how to love... you're very, very particular about who you feel is worthy of such affection and committment.

Love means a lot to you and isn't a luxury you bestow onto to just anyone.

I think you'll be ok... Lord have mercy on anyone who does mess with the woman you have decided is worthy of your love.