just some general advice please?

[olie843]

Hello, well back in early April, my girlfriend broke up with me after 14months, after that I had been with another girl for around 3weeks but it didnt work out.

For some reason, my first girlfriend who I have just mentioned, I keep thinking about her alot lately, but this was my first relationship.

I dont want to get back with her, I just want to forget her.. but I cant, is there any way I can just bluddy move on already! Gah, I dont know if i still love her or not but I know that she woulnt get back with me.

---

Secondly, I am seeing a nice girl atm, but what are the stages to take? should i take it slowly or what?

Relationships are such a hastle at times but I would just like to settle down in a comfortble relationship like before.

[olie843]

anyone . . .?

[Yggdrasil]

Start with being single and getting over your ex, otherwise you're most likely heading for a rebound.

First you have to heal from your experience with your previous relation.

Once she's out of your system (and mind), you'll be ready for another relation.

Meanwhile, enjoy life, surround yourself with (new) friends, maybe start a few new hobbies and improve yourself on a personal level.

Learn from the mistakes made in the previous relation and try not to make them again.

(the usual, typical advice).

[Bumble_bee]

your a bit all over the place aren't you?

'relationships' do not just fall into your lap, you got to work on yourself as well as the person of interest.

stop thinking about ex number 1, and start thinking about you.

as for your last query, I would go with what yggdrasil said....your not in any fit state to be in a relationship tbh, ex's all over the place and a current love interest who doesn't occupy your mind as much as ex number 1 is a recipe for disaster.

[secr3t]

Sounds something like me.

[olie843]

Thanks, I guess you are right, Im going to get settled into this new job I like, concentrate on that for a few months, just passed my driving test so im looking to buy a car which will probabilly take my mind of things.

Its just all of a sudden that I have started thinking of my ex and I really dont know why. I think once things are straight, Im going to give it a shot with this girl im attracted to atm.

why whats your problem, secret?

[secr3t]

read my post..

i just got out of a relationship before this.. lol

[olie843]

oh right =/
il take a look

[love82]

I think you should stop making yourself so confused. You knew who you love deep down and you should pursue it. Won't it be a vicious cycle if the current love interest doesn't work out? Otherwise, it would be best to stay clear any relationships at the moment

[newlywed08]

It's natural to become inexplicably preoccupied with your first relationship, even when it's been over for a while.

I agree with everyone here. Work on yourself. My first boyfriend was an ogre, and I was still preoccupied with him for a while. I zoomed through three, count them three! rebound relationships before I got my head screwed on straight. Trust me, work on you first.

Also, may I ask how old you are? My guess is that you're fairly young if you just passed your driver's test. As an adolescent, everything seems like a bigger deal than it really is. When I had troubles with my first boyfriend, it felt like the world was coming to an end. Now I realize that the whole thing was a silly charade, and chuckle about it any time I think about it.

[olie843]

I think you should stop making yourself so confused. You knew who you love deep down and you should pursue it. Won't it be a vicious cycle if the current love interest doesn't work out? Otherwise, it would be best to stay clear any relationships at the moment

I cant persue it and I dont think I want to as I know for a fact, my ex-girlfriend wont have me back.

I dont know, I mean we have been kinda seeing each other for a month now, I am taking it slowly and she seems an alright girl and I know that I can grow to love someone as I did with my first girlfriend.

--
Newlywed, I would give the world to go back with my ex-girlfriend, but I just know she wont have me back so when you say work on it, do you mean, try and forget her? and yea haha I guess it does when you come to think of it. Oh yea, im 18.

I think im on the right tracks now though, well at least getting there.

[love82]

Everyone gets out of a relationship and gets into another one after that. Believe you can do it and glad you are thinking on the right track too. You might love your ex gf more at the moment but who knows the next girl might mean the world to you soon.

[newlywed08]

If it's truly the case, yes, forget about her.

Either way, you need to work on yourself before entering ANY serious relationship. Get settled in to your job, get your car, and hang out with friends. Friends outside of a relationship are one of the most important things for a happy person, and for a good relationship even. You need a support system, and you need to learn to have fun without some girl in tow. As a guess some of your friendships dwindled while you were with your last girlfriend? Rekindle those relationships and have a good time for a while. Don't worry about the validation and comfort of a girlfriend. Have fun and stand on your own two feet.

When you honestly feel that you have yourself in order, pursue a love life. And be honest with yourself on this. You may need to wait a few months or even a year. My guess is a minimum of 6.