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Thread: Anyone have some time to kill? BF called me ex's nickname...Should I be worried?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    1

    Anyone have some time to kill? BF called me ex's nickname...Should I be worried?

    Sorry, this is SUPER long. Please take the time to read the whole story and then give me your opinion, Thank you so much!

    Back story: I have been dating a boy for 4 months now. We have an especially close relationship and see each other every day. Around 4 to 5 years ago he dated a girl for a year, they were 14/15 at the time. After a year she broke up with him. For the year following their relationship they were friends with benefits, and hooked up (sex) twice a month. This friends with benefits ended after a year. Additionally they remained friends, and he talked to her just as often as his male friends, about 2-3 times a week on the phone, and more often online (AIM). So, for the past 4ish years they have had this friendship. Meanwhile they have both dated other people, etc.

    So heres the issue: Ever since my boyfriend was young he has called his family dog 'bobo' as a pet name. When he began dating his ex, he started to call her bobo as well, it also happens to be her initials twice. (She didn't know this was his pet's nickname as well)
    Her called her this nickname only occasionally (maybe 10% of the time) while they were dating, but when they became friends it became his regular nickname for her (Using it 80% or more of the time).

    So, fast forward to the present. My bf and I have been dating for four months. His pet name for me is boo, something silly we both call each other that we got from a song. (50% percent of the time we use other nicknames, such as babe) He still talks to his ex about once a week, although they talk a little less now that we have started dating, and he still calls her bobo.

    Twice, within the past month or so, he has accidentally called me bobo. (At the time, I didn't know the history behind the nickname) For example, once while we were driving to a movie he put his hand on my leg and smiled at me and said in a cutsey voice 'hey bobo'. I immediately asked him why he called me that and mentioned that he also had once before. He didn't say much, and just told me it was what he called his dog sometimes.

    Finally, we recently had a talk and he revealed the truth behind the name. He says that it slipped out on accident, because the name sounded similar to boo in his head.

    What is your opinion? Did he call me bobo because he was reminded of his previous relationship, or perhaps thinking of his ex? Or was it simply a slip of the tongue? I'm worried that perhaps this slip of the tongue has meaning behind it. However, I realize that I may just be acting like a paranoid idiot =). I can certainly understand that he has been using this nickname for 5 years, and for a second his mind may have unconsciously thought "what is the nickname I use with her?" and for a moment he thought it was bobo because he is used to saying it so often. I can also understand that they still talk and sometimes you mix up the names you call your friends, however it's not as if he has ever called any of his male friends bobo.

    My worry is that the situation of being together and being touchy feely reminded him of his last relationship. I know I have accidentally called someone by the wrong nickname because the situation seemed familiar. For example, I have called my friend 'dad' when I was arguing with them about school. I'm worried this situation is a similar case and for some reason being with me reminded him of a situation with his ex, which makes me upset because their relationship was a friendship for so long that those type of situations shouldn't remind him of her.

    I'm also worried that he called me bobo because the name is something he uses towards those he feels attached too, or sweet feelings towards. Which doesn't feel appropriate then since he used it towards her as a friend. He tells me that the name lost all meaning and became simply a friendly nickname when he used it towards his ex while they were friends. I guess I'm just super paranoid that he still has feelings towards her, or that he would for some reason rather be with her if he could (because she broke up with him). I admit I'm definitely jealous of their close relationship.

    Anyway any opinions please? Trust me, I'm sure I may sound crazy. I guess I just need some relief.

    Thank you!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    40
    Honestly, I'm not comfortable with being given an endearment similar to a dog or his FWB pal. It's like he uses that so that he won't be confused when his fooling around. If I were in your place, I'd either ask him to call me by my nickname, or something very original. Cause if he doesn't, I'm gonna get myself a dog and name him as well as every guy friends I have the same endearment as my BF. This way, he'd also get jealous. I'm totally evil.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    6
    Could have just been a slip! Sometimes I catch myself about to call my boyfriend my ex's name because I was just thinking about something to do with him....Sometimes I catch myself about to call him my dog's name because I was thinking about the dog!

    Definitely talk to him. I've got a similar situation with bf and a girl that used to be his FWB and he still talks to her as well. I just posted about talking to him about it, so maybe we can both get some good advice!

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