Trying to understand from his standpoint

[JaCe]

Ok so im completely in love with this one boy and we were happy together for about a year. Then about 2 months ago we started having problems and then he dumped me. His reason was that i basically loved him too much. I want to ask all you guys out there, do you not like it when your girlfriend tells you that you are the only thing on her mind? I know there are some guys out there who are affraid of commitment, including the boy i love. But im trying to understand his side of the story. I really love him and i will wait forever for him to finally stop hiding he loves me, as everyone says he is. If you were able to spend everyday with your girlfriend, would you get tired of her?

[Yggdrasil]

Yep. I'd get tired of her. Hence.. are you guys siamese twins or joined at the hip?

No, you're individuals. Stop smothering the poor guy. Give him some indivuality and space.

One can be to clingy and to needy. That's not love, that's dependency / codependency. Makes sense?

[GoldenNickel22]

The reason you love guys "too much" is that you don't have balanced life: work/studies, hobbies, friends, family and him. Take a look at your calendar and you'll see that HE is not everything. Life is YOURS, and once you find that you are not always available and keep yourself busy, you will not miss him. In fact, he will miss YOU! Guys don't like clingy, and guess what? It's not healthy for you, either. You want to be a strong, self confident girl, you want to be happy! Any guy will want to be with a happy, balanced you.

[JaCe]

*sigh* well i didnt talk to him for 2 months. I guess he did get lonely. But instead of comming back, he went and got a new girl. And now i see him drive by somewhere, and i dont know, i keep seeing him. To the point i cant forget him. He just keeps appearing in my life. He's happy...i think maybe its time to just let him be happy. His friends says hes alot less stressed. So yeah :/

[Yggdrasil]

Yep, like I said before.. you're to needy. You should try to do something about that.

Being so demanding is a serious turn off for any self respecting guy.

[Tug]

Everybody needs their space and it sounds like you didn't give your B/F enough of it. Sounds like you need to back off a little bit not just for this relationship but future relationship if you dont your in for allot of heart ache as you get older.

Hope everything works out

[ellie]

Yeah. I've done the mistake of being too needy too in past relationships. You need to give him space, let him breath. He needs to miss you at times, and for him to miss you, you need to back off a little at times.

It doesn't mean he loves you less, it just means he needs more space to do his own stuff.
Best way of giving someone more space is to get busy yourself. Find some hobbies of your own, discover your passions, meet up with old friends. Do things, like you did when you were single. Be the girl he fell for in the first place.

If he loves you, he'll begin to show it as soon as you let him breath a little.

[mylovelywife]

hey

wow, wish I was as lucky as that guy

well, you cant really get a universal answer , everyone has different perspectives

for me, a girl like this would be a dream come true

[MrNiceGuy]

I want to ask all you guys out there, do you not like it when your girlfriend tells you that you are the only thing on her mind?

I like it fine. But then again, I am not a narcisscist so go figure...

[JaCe]

apparently he not only wanted space, but also a new girl. He got his wish...and sadly im still in love with him, cause i meant it when i said i was completely in love with this guy.

[ellie]

Be strong, I know how it feels. All you can do is try to move, even though it hurts like hell.