She wanted to leave me after 2.5 years and it happened so fast...

[sfmarco]

so this is probably going to sound like other posts here but i wanted to voice my situation. i've been with this girl for almost 2.5 years (actually 2.5 years exactly this july 13) and last friday morning she wanted to break it off with me. for about 2 weeks she wanted to have 'her space'. she started telling me i don't appreciate her enough and that i don't make enough time for her. we've had that talk on and off for the past year or so and i've been working constantly to make more time for her and within the past month i've actually been making more time for her. apparently it wasn't enough for her. my job requires me to work 6 days a week (i'm self employed) whereas she only works 4 days a week. so obviously she has a lot more free time that i do.

she has a lot of friends who like to go clubbing and i'm not into that. we've gone a few times together and it was alright. she tells me she hates going without me because she knows i don't like the idea but i told her i've grown to accept the fact she likes to go out with her friends and she should go and have fun. still didn't seem good enough.

so as of friday we haven't talked with each other and friday morning i was texting/calling her telling her things ARE changing and she just needs to see them (that may have been a bad mistake). i even cancelled an entire 4th of july weekend trip to be with her. she put her foot down and said enough was enough. her cousin and a mutual friend of ours told me to just give her time to cool and think things out and that it should be ok. as of now her facebook pic isn't with her and i, which it has been for the last 2.5 years, and she has deleted her relationship status completely. she didn't say she was single.

so as of right now i'm hurting really badly and just need help. i want to send her a short handwritten note apologizing about begging and pleading, etc. and that i will be respectful of her wishes and give her space.

i am hoping for the best because i really do love her and so does my family (they don't know about this either). any advice, help, un-biased opinions would be reallllly helpful. another problem is we share a lot of the same friends so going to them would be probably worse.

thanks to all.

[sfmarco]

also she was saying i need to give her more time...i am planning on a trip for the both of us to the snow this winter, i starting enrolling us in beginner yoga at the local city college for the fall, i am planning on taking her to the water park in the next month or so like she mentioned, i've begun making more time for her during the work week that way i can have dinners with her after work. stuff like that...i know i can do more but i'm in the process of doing more and i don't think she really sees that.

[Yggdrasil]

Well... back off and leave her be. Don't even send her that text message.

She's being unreasonable as far as I am concerned.

You can't control what's going to happen. Whatever is meanth to be, will be.

Sounds pretty crappy I know, but it's simply the way it is.

As far as I am concerned she's acting like a dingbat. I think you're more mature than that and deserve better.

Sure, this is not an easy situation and even if you give her space, it doesn't guarantee she'll come back.

So, prep for the worst, act as she's out of your life.

[sfmarco]

oh, it wasn't going to be a text message. it was going to be an actual note that i'll deliver to her house but not see her. yeah, i mean the way she 'broke it off' was kinda weird. i knew she was going out thursday night with friends, reluctant to tell me. and before i went to bed i left her a message then at 4am she replied, i woke up and called her back. she was quick to want to break up immediatly and what not. that's what really threw me off.

[Yggdrasil]

She may have someone else who suits her needs better.

Don't be a safety blanket.

[Tigerfan]

I did the same thing. I sent an email to her apologizing for my part in causing the breakup, etc. She responded ok to that, but it didn't make a bit of difference in the long run. She still needed her space. When she responded favorably to the email and a card I sent her, I sort of tried to "move back in" to her life. She saw that and then started completely ignoring me so I would get the picture.

I haven't talked to her since, and have been NC now for 2 weeks. It's not easy. I know exactly what you're going through. Women can be so sketchy, especially to "good" guys like me that treat them like queens, and maybe do too much for them. Makes them want to back off. So I am trying to find a balance between being good to them, but not being too needy and available. We both need to be true to ourselves though. Best wishes to you!