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Thread: 23 and still a virgin

  1. #1
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    23 and still a virgin

    Hi,

    I'm feeling bad. I'm 23 and still am a virgin. I've never been in a relationship before. I'm sort of an introverted and shy girl so that possibly is the cause of it. I don't like to go out a lot.

    Dating scares me a bit. When I think of dating a guy, I'm scared I'm going to get hurt, that all he'll want is sex.

    I don't think all of it is normal. Do you think a guy will want to date me even though I'm a virgin or are they likely to judge me and think I'm weird because I haven't dated or had sex yet. Im very worried.

    Thanks !

  2. #2
    Illusional's Avatar
    Illusional is offline different state of mind
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    i had a friend who was 30 and still a virgin. you have nothing to worry about.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Im not sure whats wrong with the world, but virgin is a positive thing, no? It's not a STD or something, and guys will date you regardless if you're virgin or not.

    If you dont like to go out, then you could hang out with your guy in the living room watch some of your favourite DVDs, chat, cuddle, have fun. It doesnt always have to be sexual.

    You dont have to be scared. I still recommend a casual coffee/tea date with a boy or two, it doesnt have to be long, 20~30 minutes, if its unbearable for you you could just cut it short and go home, if you're enjoying it, then stay a bit longer. It's just for you to have a feel of what dating feels like. But ofcoz, respect your date.

    Not all guys are sex crazed monkeys, dont worry too much.
    What could change the nature of a man?

  4. #4
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    there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. move at the pace you're more comfortable with. don't let society or movies or mtv tell you when you're supposed to lose your virginity.

    Take it one step at a time.
    Are you pessimistic about love? Or want to see other people's opinion about it? Check out

    [URL="http://www.pessimisticlove.com"]http://www.pessimisticlove.com[/URL]

    You're not alone!

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    Don't succumb to social pressure. Just be yourself and take things as they occur. Enjoy your life--you're young! That's the best part!

  6. #6
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    If a guy does think it's a problem that your still a virgin then he's not the right one for you! Plenty of my friends are still virgins, because they haven't found the right person yet. If you want a relationship you need to get out there and take some risks - sure you may get hurt, but it's better than being lonely. Have faith and you will one day find the right person

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    Virginity is severely overrated.

    Its a word, nothing more than that.

    People somehow have this idea ingrained in there head that being a virgin somehow makes them different in one way or another.

    The truth is, unless you're a total whore, 99% of guys could care less.

    "What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
    You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."


    The Warmonger

  8. #8
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    Shouldn't spend too much time analyzing "what ifs" ...

    You haven't been in a relationship and you're already worrying about things like being used and sex. Trust your gut feeling and enjoy yourself when the time comes. With all relationships, there's a bit of learning that's involved.

    But if you continue to be super shy, introverted, and not liking the social scene, then your best shot would be meeting someone through a friend or work. And that doesn't happen every day.
    no autographs, please!

    The more I see, the more I don't know for sure. - John Lennon

    Life is ... Too Short.

    "It seems we living the 'American Dream', but the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem. The prettiest people do the ugliest things ... for the road to riches and diamond rings."

  9. #9
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    Much like yourself I am a very shy person, had not had a relationship and was still a virgin until I was 23.

    It never really bothered me though but I was a little bit worried like youself about getting into a relationship and being judged when going out on dates and not being comfortable.

    When you find the right person it will not bother them that you are a virgin or you haven't been with anybody else. Just don't get pressured into anything you don't want to do and make sure that you get to learn about yourself.

    The mistake I made with my first girlfriend (I am a guy) was that I ended up with sombody who had dated quite a few people and was also very sexually experianced. The major draw back to this is she was very selfish and in reflection not very good for me as I never got to explore what I liked/disliked and didn't get to find myself. She also cheated on me several times and ended up really hurting me.

    This has had a lasting impact on me and has affected relationships after her greatly as I have no confidence in myself when it comes to sex and I find it very hard to open up in a relationship for fear of getting hurt again.

    I am not trying to scare you or put you off, what I am saying is that do not worry about being virgin and never really having dated anybody. Dating is fun, it helps you meet people and can really help build up your confidence. When you find the right person you will know just make sure that they let you be you and give you the chance to be yourself instead of trying to mould you into what they want and you will be find.

    Good luck and don't worry, things will happen as they happen just make sure you are happy and do whats right for you.

    S

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    I like having large breaks from sex every once in awhile because when you finally do have sex, it's like being a virgin.

    And you don't have to pretend, Kate09.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kate09 View Post
    Hi,

    I'm feeling bad. I'm 23 and still am a virgin. I've never been in a relationship before. I'm sort of an introverted and shy girl so that possibly is the cause of it. I don't like to go out a lot.

    Dating scares me a bit. When I think of dating a guy, I'm scared I'm going to get hurt, that all he'll want is sex.

    I don't think all of it is normal. Do you think a guy will want to date me even though I'm a virgin or are they likely to judge me and think I'm weird because I haven't dated or had sex yet. Im very worried.

    Thanks !
    Finally a smart girl who had brains at the age of 16 when everybody else went around to **** italianos and get hurt.

    It wouldn't bother me at all if I were to date you. In fact, I would be happy to be your first. (Un)fortunately I am taken though, and I lost my virginity at the age of 20.
    Don't expect anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cbrider View Post
    Virginity is severely overrated.
    Virginity means that you are still a privately-held commodity. You haven't yet entered the septic realm called "the public life." Lucky you.

    Unless engaged in love making (a distinction here), then losing one's virginity to enter the "public life" is very uninteresting.

    "Losing it" for the latter reason...it makes you common, rather than special, in a monochromatic world.

  13. #13
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    have you tried sex with girls?
    mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonrisa View Post
    have you tried sex with girls?
    Inviting the original thread poster to become a lesbian?

    I don't think this is dating site....

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    Quote Originally Posted by CAM View Post
    Virginity means that you are still a privately-held commodity. You haven't yet entered the septic realm called "the public life." Lucky you.

    Unless engaged in love making (a distinction here), then losing one's virginity to enter the "public life" is very uninteresting.

    "Losing it" for the latter reason...it makes you common, rather than special, in a monochromatic world.
    I'm not insinuating its a bad thing, its just not something to fret over. You wont be judged one way or another because you are or aren't a virgin, bar you are whoring yourself out.

    "What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
    You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."


    The Warmonger

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