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Thread: Getting over the past...difficulty

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    2

    Getting over the past...difficulty

    Hi everyone,
    I need a little advice on dealing with a past relationship that is making me crazy at the moment.

    As the Joni Mitchell song goes, "you don't know what you got till it's gone", well that sums up my feelings! I had dated an amazing person who was the perfect match in every possible way. At the time however, I was getting over a horrible relationship that I still wanted, so as a result I treated the perfect girl poorly. I treated her poorly in that she was the "rebound" and I know that I did not put 100% into it. But she was great and even dealt with my less than best! In the end I broke up with her.
    As I look back I realize what a HUGE mistake I made, and I know that I am 100% at fault, no question about it!
    Well fast forward to today, said perfect girl is getting married soon, and I am dealing poorly. I have not had any contact with the girl, and I won't, but ugh it is making me crazy. It is so hard to know that I could be the one married to her, but as a direct result of me being an ass---- it's not me. Any advice for dealing with the impending day that is making me nuts? I have the feeling that I will always look at her as the one who I let slip away.
    The strange thing is that I have had many other relationships before that I have had no issues getting over, but for some reason this one is so much different.

    Any ideas?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    13
    I know what you mean about not knowing what you have till its gone. Its been almost two years since I let my ex go ... and I think about her everyday.

    I would try seeing more people... it helps. I'm sure you'll eventually meet someone who you'll fall in love with even more so.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    Zack, she wasn't really perfect. No one is. She wasn't your future wife either, obviously.

    You have to let her go. Think of it as a wedding gift to her. I think you should take that day to yourself and get out of town. Go to the beach or something. Go camping. Take 24 hours to reflect on her, yourself, and the fact that you learned something important from her. Part of the experience of life is knowing just how badly you blew it at one time or another.
    Spammer Spanker

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,313
    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Zack, she wasn't really perfect. No one is. She wasn't your future wife either, obviously.

    You have to let her go. Think of it as a wedding gift to her. I think you should take that day to yourself and get out of town. Go to the beach or something. Go camping. Take 24 hours to reflect on her, yourself, and the fact that you learned something important from her. Part of the experience of life is knowing just how badly you blew it at one time or another.
    And realizing that we're all but one of a multitude of billions on this earth, and females outnumber. (not in that slutty sort of way, but in the idea that the right girl is still out there searching for you.)

    I've had more than a gutful of life to realize that life has it's high points on its way, predestined, whether you expect it or not.

    So make way for the future, or let it make confetti of you!

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