Problems with knowing what she wants.

[nathan0726]

Okay, here it goes. (Probably going to be long.)

My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago after being together for 3 years. We were actually on a "Break" the last several weeks of our relationship and things were going great, she started to stay over with me and we talked about everything, and she said to just give her a few more days and we would most likely resolve everything and get back together. I was ecstatic. Well, after not getting back together we still continued to see each other and stuff everything was going great I thought. Then one day she says we need to talk, (being a guy I know what those words mean), she kept putting our "talk" off so I texted her one night and asked for her to tell me what's going on. She said that she had started talking to someone else. -Fast forward 2 weeks- My ex is now dating this new guy and it all seems to be going well with them. I haven't been contacting her what-soever, she will message me about every 3-4 days to see what I'm up to and everything. Well, today she called me and asked me if I was in town and could meet her at her house and give her back some of the things I still had of hers and she had a couple of things of mine as well.

I went to her house, everything seemed to go great. I acted happy and confident she said I looked great (I have been exercising quite a bit) and I returned the compliment. We traded things and talked for about 5 minutes. She kept asking if I was okay, and I replied that I was good. I left feeling pretty good about our first meeting in 2+ weeks.

I get home, and despite my wonderful self-control that I had exhibited the last 2 weeks by not calling her and letting her have space and such, I text her and tell her I just wanted to talk a bit. And she says that's fine so we chat, and she apologizes for upsetting me, and says that she can see right through my facade that she knows me way better than I think. Well, things start going downhill a little, she asks if I had any hope that we were getting back together and to be honest about it. I was wary at first, but long-story short she says it's over forever and she likes talking to me, but feels guilty about it because of her new boyfriend. So, since she said I couldn't push her away any farther (what I was trying to avoid by begging and pleading), I poured my heart out to her. Telling her how I have been bettering myself, and reading relationship books and things. She says it's really great but we aren't getting back together.

Now, I know for a fact that our love was extremely strong while we were together. And the only thing that broke us up, was poor communication skills, mainly on my part. And we argued about silly/trivial things. But I mean, what relationship doesn't have that?

So I have been praying for us, and I'm learning about the Laws of Attraction hoping that if I can just wait it out, even though she said that she doesn't want to get back together..that maybe sometime soon we will. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do. I love her dearly. And I even had started saving for her engagement ring we had picked out. I want her back so badly, but I'm just not sure what to do.

Thanks everyone. If any additional information is needed, I'd be glad to tell. I just really need some advice from some people that have been through the same thing.

[little pingoin]

You do yourself a great disservice by holding out hope that you'll reconcile. I say this because I've been doing the same thing for 3+ years. The Earth continues to rotate, but I've stayed stuck in the same place. You're better off taking the lessons you've learned and contributing to an even better relationship with someone else. Tears fall as I say this because, as much as I don't want to believe it myself, I know it's absolutely true.

[ShyGuy81]

I know exactly how you feel at the moment, it is tough and I am finding reading through the various post on this forum that this kind of thing is all to common.

If she has said that you are not getting back together then I would not hope too much for you reconciling things. It does kind of suck but you sounded like you were doing really well for the two weeks that you were broken up without seeing her.

I am on a break from my girlfriend at the moment and am unsure what it going on. It is a dreadful situation but in some respects I envy you as you have had her say that it is over which means that you can start to move on. As much as you don't want to but sometimes it can be hard to face up to the truth.

Lee

[nathan0726]

I actually ran into her and the new guy today at a restaurant. Thankfully I saw them before they saw me, and I left. It hurt, it really did. I would still do anything to get her back. But I'm not sure if that is going to happen.

[Raze]

Just move on. The purpose of a breakup is to forget about each other and move on. It sucks ass, I know, but you're not going to get her back. If you do, the same thing is going to happen eventually. I wish you the best of luck.