Possibly being used - Your thoughts

[Bulletz]

I'll try to make this as short as possible.

I met this girl (via friend, internet) and we basically talked a ton. I liked her, blah blah, we started 'dating'. I actually never saw her, but I loved talking to her on the phone, loved her attitude, etc. However, it was long distance then - I go to college, she lives around 3 1/2 hours away from where I attend. Nevertheless, during the summer, we live around 1 hour 15 minutes away (driving fairly fast). So I considered alright, I'll see what happens in the summer.

I thought I would see her twice every week, things would be great. I was pretty much wrong. She got a job, which greatly ****ed everything up. I've seen her around 6/7 times in around 2 1/2 months time. I was stupid and naive to think things would be great, I know, but I've gotten over that fact. When I see her, I love being with her, holding her, etc etc. I still love talking with her and I can't wait to be with her again.

But the thing is, she really hasn't made an attempt to see me... at all. I've always been the one driving to see her and shit. Granted, her parents are strict, but can't she go out of her way to see me? I've visited her around 3 times to her mom's knowledge, and she thinks we're 'good' friends. Couldn't she tell her mom she wants to see me? I really don't think she has, otherwise she woulda told me. Say some bs like, he's came to visit me 3 times, and I haven't visited him once. Or just say she's going to Woodfield Mall or some bs where I can meet up with her? Other times when she has a free day, she schedules some bs with her friends (at HS) and I can't see her. My thought is, you'll be seeing these friends all school year, whereas you won't be seeing me during the same period. She has a tough class schedule, and I doubt her parents will let her visit me during the school year. I brought this 'not seeing me' up to her, and she said I've tried getting the keys when I get home after work or weekends. Wow, A plus, you try seeing me on the spot whereas you can't tell your parents a week in advanced you want to see me?

Relating her to me, I do everything possible for her. I go out of my way to help her at all costs. Calling her when she's crying, talking to her whenever, seeing her whenever. I've ditched friends to see her, slept over at a friends place to see her the next day. Went to frickin Chicago just to see her at her cousins place (she just got a ride from her cousin...). I talk to her until she feels sleepy, call her during work so she's not bored, blah blah blah. I don't wanna seem cocky, but I would say I'm a pretty damn good boyfriend.

So the problem is, I really do everything I can within my power to see her. Yeah I love talking to her and shit, but I don't want to be in a relationship where my partner doesn't do jack shit to see me. She feels sympathy, is pretty caring, but doesn't really go the extra distance to make me feel better and shit.

I really care about her, probably even love her (though I'd say I'm kind of young lawl), but yeah... she doesn't put too much effort into this relationship even though we have a really healthy relationship (disregarding her efforts). I really think she's perfect, but I hate the fact thinking she might be using me just to get through her hardships. She's emotional, needs support, etc etc, and I'm always there for her.

So, question is (for the girls mostly, guys can have some input too), would you go out of your way to see your guy? And what do you think about our situation?

[Asip4u]

Well like you said, she's a great girl but there's this extra effort missing from her. What you need to decide is how big of a deal is this? Some guys dont care if a girl doesn't try as much simply because as a guy a lot of us take on that extra pressure...Others need to feel that extra effort from the partner...Only you know whether it's worth it..If it's that big a deal, you'll have to end things and find someone more suitable. Good luck!

[lizzy_09]

Relationship are suppose to be give and take. It seems like you've been doing all the effort. Try to weigh your relationship, if it seems like you've been investing to much and she hardly makes any effort then let it go. This is totally up you.

[_JM_]

Have you talked to her about it?