I never knew

[banser123]

After reading all these posts in this forum and dealing with my own situation I cant believe how many screwed up, indecisive people there are out there. I am amazed at how many relationships end because someone has no feelings anymore (just another way of saying they got tired of their partner). Does anyone realize just how wrong this is. I understand if there is cheating or abuse or something very drastic involved, then I can see a break up, but most of these reasons are lame, and some dont even have any reasons. I undersatand it happening occasionally but its just too common now.



People need to start taking relationships more serious. You dont get serious and say deep things to someone then just leave if there is a problem. What about communication and trying to work things out. There is no more effort anymore. This is the trend nowadays. People are getting hurt and there emotions are being played with, its just not fair. I am not only saying this because of my situation, its just that so many guys/girls are getting hurt for stupid reasons.

[Raze]

Yep, I agree. Love sucks, doesn't it?

[IndiReloaded]

Well, there are a couple of approaches to this problem: take commitment more seriously, take oneself less seriously.

Seems we could do with a bit more of both in our disposable society, I agree.

[lloydburns]

I am in total agreement with you. Today's society has been blinded by intolerance of other peoples feelings when in a relationship, it is as if its a fashion statement to be in a relationship. One the design becomes out of date, you ditch that one and get a new one.

Communication, trust and love are key Just love and respect each other, if any problems do occur then resolve them asap!

Thanks,
Lloyd

[bluesummer]

I see this from two sides, having been in both long-term and very short term relationships.

On one end, yes, people need to realize that you need to put effort into a relationship to make it work. It isn't all sunshine and lollipops and butterflies. They are WORK. Not enough people communicate properly, people are still so selfish, they expect too much.

On the other hand, I also think too many people choose the wrong partners and drag out unhealthy relationships because they're so desperate to make it work, and that is just wrong. If you start to date someone and there are key elements of the relationship that are missing IT'S OKAY to end it. There are some problems that canot be fixed, and there are times when completely incompatible people wind up together and it's not healthy.

[Mish]

I think that people need to spend more time getting to know each other, getting to know themselves and taking responsibility for their choices when they actually do make a decision to be together. Too many people rush into relationships due to all sorts of insecurities or for shallow reasons.

[Raze]

I see this from two sides, having been in both long-term and very short term relationships.

On one end, yes, people need to realize that you need to put effort into a relationship to make it work. It isn't all sunshine and lollipops and butterflies. They are WORK. Not enough people communicate properly, people are still so selfish, they expect too much.

On the other hand, I also think too many people choose the wrong partners and drag out unhealthy relationships because they're so desperate to make it work, and that is just wrong. If you start to date someone and there are key elements of the relationship that are missing IT'S OKAY to end it. There are some problems that canot be fixed, and there are times when completely incompatible people wind up together and it's not healthy.

I agree. Many people choose the wrong partners and are desperate to make it work. I think in all my relationships I have sadly made the mistake of trying to drag it out and blaming myself for not being able to make it work. It was merely the fact that I chose the wrong person for me. And I also think I was desperate to make a relationship to make a relationship work. So, desperate in fact that I was thinking straight and blaming myself like it was all my fault when it was in fact both my partners faults and my own faults. I don't think people should put so much blame on themselves and they should keep on searching.

I think it mainly has to do with the fact that people make themselves too busy to communicate. Communication is the key in a relationship and if someone in the relationship does all the communicating it is doomed to fail.

Don't blame people for posting questions that might appear stupid to you, but rather blame the society we live in. All the game-playing, the media making sex seem like this heavenly thing. I mainly blame the media for everything because the media is full of bullshit and influences are lives so much.

People are going to have questions because relationships are tough and people do not think straight when they are in love. I'm sure you all will have stupid questions as well. It is easier to give advice to someone then it is to seek advice from other people. Trust me.

[banser123]

I understand if they feel its not going to work and thry end it. Im talking about when people say things like, I want to be with you forever, I promise you it will all pay off, I want you in my life, etc... Those are the things that make their partners feel secure and get their expectations high, only to be dumped. Thats the part thats not fair.

[Raze]

Yeah, I agree. I think it's kind of like in the heat of the moment. I agree, it's not fair at all, but it happens. Remember: actions speak louder than words.

[i.was.in.luv]

yes raze I agree with you "actions speak larger than words". All these words that like " i will love you forever, I will be your side no matter what, I want you forevr in my arms etc." are all words or promises that lovers say to eachother and no doubt we love to hear them more then to say them. But these are at last words only. Life is different from this dream world.
Smiling faces turn into dull faces, small happiness hurts like hell. But we cant do anything. we cant force anybody to love us because we never forced them when they were with us.
love just happens. It doesnot need commitment like marriage. And that can happen when we are mature enough to understand life. when we are free from our individual tensions, when we are satisfied with ourselves only then can we choose to share our life with someone else and turn those dreams into reality.
patience is the key factor of evry relationship.