Don't believe the psycologists, you can love someone if you don't love yourself

[MrNiceGuy]

I don't know where this idea came from. Maybe some government think tank somewhere...or from some married guy or dyke that had infiltrated into the loveforum.net...

[bluesummer]

That's sort of a base way of looking at it. Of COURSE you can love someone if you don't love yourself, you're probably capable of more love because you're not giving anything to yourself.

I think that whole idea should be rewritten to say "If you don't love yourself, you'll make a terrible romantic partner to someone else". Nobody wants a depressive, self-hating, insecure partner. People like that are emotional leeches. Yuck.

[Raze]

Psychobabble. I don't believe much of what I hear anymore to be honest lol. It's like when a doctor tells a patient they will die and they couldn't be healthier.

[ecojeanne]

yup, pretty much what blue said. the problem is too many people love other people to divert their own attention from their own issues/conscience. if you can't be alone, then you won't be loved back by any healthy person, unless they whom you are loving are psychologically damaged too, then you’ll get all the love you need along with all the toxins. simple. face your conscience. once you can (which many can't), you'll find you don't need anyone. but at least you will enjoy the relationship more if you have faced yourself first.

[Sonrisa]

what is loving yourself? i can't say that i love myself, that thought never crossed my mind. what are you guys talking about?

[Raze]

I guess it means looking in the mirror and saying I like you, you're alright. You don't go out of your way to hurt people. You're a decent person.

[Sonrisa]

who does that? is that not dementia?

[ecojeanne]

^^i guess you can't face your demons

[Sonrisa]

what demons? are you all retarded here?

[ecojeanne]

^^the many that can't

[Sonrisa]

the only difference, eco, is if you love yourself the way you are, it makes you oblivious to your own faults. you choose to accept yourself and believe that there's nothing wrong with you.

i instead will continue to criticize myself and mold myself into a better human being. it is an evolution of myself that will never come to a stop. there are so many things that i could learn about human behaviour that I could attain.

why be satisfied with what you are?

[ecojeanne]

good for you. of course i'm not perfect, but *i'm* happy with me right now, and i'm sure my conscience will continue to be challenged and hopefully *i'll* decide to do the right thing but i won't deny it or divert my activities away so i can't face my wrongs. that's all anyone can wish for. maybe you should try it

[Raze]

Well, I understand what you're saying Sonrisa. You're saying that we should be constantly trying to improve ourselves, which I agree 100% with. There's nothing wrong with trying to mold yourself into a better human being.

However, you should still love who you are on a basic level. That's what we're saying as in having respect for yourself. If you don't have respect for yourself, you're already dead. If you keep criticizing yourself for everything, you will just be like a monk who whipps himself for having unholy thoughts.

We all have our faults. There is no perfect person. No matter how hard you try, Sonrisa, people will always find your faults. You have to say, "well even though they can see my faults, I still have a lot of respect for myself."

What you're saying right now means that you don't have respect for yourself. You are molding yourself not because you want to, but because other people say that you should be better.

I'm satisfied with who I am because I think I am a great person despite my faults and the faults that others tell me I have. You can continue criticizing yourself as much as you want to, but what would that really do for you? You will end up just being an emptier shell of a human being.

I hate to be morbid, but you know in the end that's all that's going to matter. Everything you accomplish will be gone wants to hit the grave. In the end, you will have to live with yourself. Your evolution is going to stop which is the inevitable fate of us all. You're not going to live forever. You can recite religious dogma on me if you wish, I don't care. So why criticize yourself? It's not going to lead to anything. In the end all we have is ourselves and love. Nothing else really matters. Our knowledge will be lost.

I am satisfied with who I am because it makes me happy.

[Raze]

We should always try to correct the wrongs we do so we can at least live with ourselves and be proud of who we are and love ourselves for who we are.

[Raze]

who does that? is that not dementia?

Unless you have had loved ones suffer from dementia, you have no idea what it truly is. You know nothing about it and you shouldn't be making references like that.