losing your virginity

[emma1234]

Does anyone regret losing theirs/wish it had been with someone different/wish they had waited longer?
I've been with my boyfriend for 2-3 months (I'm 19 and hes 23) and hes never pressured me into it at all, hes never really even mentioned it, but I had a dream about it a few nights ago and since then I can focus on nothing else. I just wanna lose it with him lol. I trust him and hes lovely with me, hes really sweet and attentive and stuff, I know hes not in it for sex, and after that dream I cant focus on my schoolwork for thinking about it. It's my birthday in 3 weeks and hes told me about this wonderful present hes making me (i love homemade presents ) and he met my parents the other night (along with pretty much my entire extended family, so wasnt expecting that, but hes cool and hes not freaked out about it. I'm going to meet his family on saturday.)
I've asked my best friend what she reckons and she said its not a good idea. but I didnt say anything more than I wanna do it with him and i dunno whether its a good idea or not.
Maybe I'm just fishing for more positive comments to make me feel good about doing it lol. All I really want is to talk to him about it cos he will know what to do. But thats not really fair on him if I change my mind!



What would you do? What did you do?

[Lipp]

I lost mine at at 20 to a girl that I knew very well and had gotten together with, it was well-timed and haven't any regrets at all, we're still going steady now at 7 months later.

I don't see why not in your case.

[ShyGuy81]

I kind of wish that I had waited and ofund somebody else but that was not because I feel I rushed it, was just the wrong person but I didn't find that out until later on.

Only you can decide if you are ready, if you feel ready and want to do it then there is no reason why you shouldn't.

He sounds like a pretty decent guy, especially if he isn't pressuring you or bringing it up. You have been together for a few months now, talk to him about it by the sounds of it he will understand.

The other thing to remember is that it is ok to change your mind if you feel uncomfortable about it, if he loves you and is worth being with he will understand and wait until you are ready. If he tries to push you into it after you have talked to him then maybe he is not such a great guy and at least you find out now.

Just do what feels right for you, if you are unsure then don't do it. If you really want to and feel ready (you will be a bit nervous, that is normal) then go for it.

Lee

[PussyCatDoll]

sex dreams are common. don't let this be the reason for doing it.

[ana_etheridge]

I don't regret who I lost mine to, just the timing of the whole thing. Don't rush yourself and if you want to stop and wait then that's okay, don't feel you have to do it. If he really cares for you he'll understand.

You've been with him for a few months now and he seems like pretty nice guy. Just talk to him and say that you want to try it, just say that you might want to stop as well though.

[CollinPage]

I lost mine 8 months ago at age 20 to a girl who left me 3 days later, I regretted the hell out of it. That does not however sound like your case, sounds like you two are great together. I wouldn't be afraid to do it, but like mentioned earlier, don't let a dream be the reason for it, wait until the feeling is right between both of you, it will make it that much better.
-Collin

[Cbrider]

Idk, I still maintain that virginity is overrated. I lost mine to someone I have absolutely no contact or interest ever talking to, but I don't regret it. Its a choice you make, you need to stand by what you do, second guessing is history and will only cause stress.

I think its foolish from a relationship standpoint to practice abstinence because sexual compatibility is a pretty big factor in a lot of ways. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't pursue this with your boyfriend, just don't approach it with fear, it wont make the experience any better.

[Raze]

Idk, I still maintain that virginity is overrated. I lost mine to someone I have absolutely no contact or interest ever talking to, but I don't regret it. Its a choice you make, you need to stand by what you do, second guessing is history and will only cause stress.

I think its foolish from a relationship standpoint to practice abstinence because sexual compatibility is a pretty big factor in a lot of ways. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't pursue this with your boyfriend, just don't approach it with fear, it wont make the experience any better.

Some people just want it to have meaning. Sex is important in a relationship and it's being overrated, but I think it's good to want to make it count. It shows character.

[boobaa]

Sex may be overrated, but it is The Closest a person can be with another person. It is good if you have this kind of feeling while losing virginity, but there is no problem if you don't, you just feel more confident the next time sex happens, that is all.

[Sonrisa]

in my opinion, the whole fact that you are questioning it, means that you are not mentally and emotionally ready.

[IndiReloaded]

My experience was similar to Lipps. No regret at all. He was (still is) a great person. Probably would have married him if the timing was different.

I was one of the lucky ones tho. Lots of girls regret losing their virginity too soon. Very few regret the choice of waiting longer. Love is emotional but don't throw good sense out the window when thinking about it. Sex comes with risks as well as benefits and you need to have those well-sorted in your mind. Also, your first time is something that should be a special experience. Sounds to me like your BF is somewhat indifferent to this aspect of things, so I wouldn't rush into it. Talk to him about this and see what he thinks.

[Cbrider]

Some people just want it to have meaning. Sex is important in a relationship and it's being overrated, but I think it's good to want to make it count. It shows character.

Sex may be overrated, but it is The Closest a person can be with another person. It is good if you have this kind of feeling while losing virginity, but there is no problem if you don't, you just feel more confident the next time sex happens, that is all.

Its not the practice of sex that is overrated, it means a lot to me emotionally, its a connection with someone you love on a whole new level.

What is overrated is the social brand it receives from society. You have no reason to feel ashamed about it, or worry what others will think, its a decision with you and YOU only.

Religion puts far too much emphasis on holding out till marriage, I just think that's a recipe for a sub-par marriage because of potential compatibility issues. Everyone will view that one differently though, to each their own.

[random1]

I don't regret who I lost mine to, just the timing of the whole thing. Don't rush yourself and if you want to stop and wait then that's okay, don't feel you have to do it. If he really cares for you he'll understand.

You've been with him for a few months now and he seems like pretty nice guy. Just talk to him and say that you want to try it, just say that you might want to stop as well though.

I had the same feeling as you. I don't regret it, but I wished I had waited a little longer.

[boobaa]

Its not the practice of sex that is overrated, it means a lot to me emotionally, its a connection with someone you love on a whole new level.

What is overrated is the social brand it receives from society. You have no reason to feel ashamed about it, or worry what others will think, its a decision with you and YOU only.

Religion puts far too much emphasis on holding out till marriage, I just think that's a recipe for a sub-par marriage because of potential compatibility issues. Everyone will view that one differently though, to each their own.

Ah, sorry, I don't live in religious nutcase country, USA, so I may perceive things a bit differently...

[Cbrider]

Ah, sorry, I don't live in religious nutcase country, USA, so I may perceive things a bit differently...

You can say that again. I fall somewhere in between atheist and spiritual but non religious, I can't commit full to one or the other. When I hit the floor, I'll either be buried or burned, my soul will not pass into some other realm of existence. On the flip side, I have had enough close calls in my life that something has a hand in my well being.

I think the whole practice of religion is a crock of shit. People have their beliefs and that's fine, but too much blood has been shed over beliefs that no tangible evidence can prove.

Let people practice their religion, but keep it within reason. Some faiths have an economy within their own religion b/c so much money has been dumped into it. Since when did you foot a bill for beliefs?