Have I ruined everything, advice need please

[HillBow]

A couple of weeks ago I met a nice guy that I got along really well with. We saw each other everynight since we met so was pretty full on right from the start but we were both happy with that.

Thing were going along well then his ex-wife got in contact with him and his mood changed a bit. We discussed it on the phone as he wanted my advice which was difficult for me as I didn't really know the whole story and thought it was a bit early for him to discuss this with me.

I saw him last Thursday night and he seemed really quiet so I asked if he was ok, he said that he was just tired and went home early.

On the way home, I asked again if things are ok and I got no response which is not the norm coz this is a guy that text, called, emailed all day long since we met.

I let it go for 24 hours and sent him an email asking how is day was. He replied with 'good i need time to myself'. I just replied with ok and havent spoken to him since which was yesterday.

Did I ruin everything by asking if things were ok? What do I do now, do I just let him have his space or do I contact him to try and talk to him about it? I get the feeling that he thought I was clingy and that is why he backed off. Love anyone's advice on this one.

Thanks

[Tug]

Hill, you didnt ruin anything. It's obvious this guy's ex-wife still has him wrapped around her little finger. I can almost bet you money she was the one that wanted the divorce and now that she got what she's asked for she's not sure if she made the right decision and your friend is being jerked around by her. If I were you I'd stay as far away from this guy as possible especially now that you know he still has feelings for his ex wife. For all you know you could be nothing more than a rebound.

[David P.]

You haven't ruined anything no, nothing wrong with asking if things are ok.

Things were probably moving a bit too fast for him and, as he said, he needs some time to think. That being said, I think it's best for you to expect things to be over. If he's still that easily influenced by his ex, try to move on, and if he contacts you again, be very carefull with him.

[Thelovedoctor]

So if the ex comes back into the picture, obviously trying to make his life miserable again, you really should step in and tell the ex to back off. Obviously something is not fine if he's not himself.

[girl68]

Agree with the others... you didn't ruin anything. If he takes concren (which is what you're expressing) as needy/ clingy that's his problem.

You can only ask a few times, if they cease to open up the problem is theirs not yours.

Give him time and space, and see what happens. In the meantime, stay busy so thinking about him doesn't consume your mind.

Also unresolved issues with an ex wife can be very sticky- watch out.

[PAiNLESS]

You didn't ruin anything... what is there to ruin? o_O

You two aren't in any kind of relationship yet, are you?