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Thread: am i shallow?

  1. #1
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    am i shallow?

    i meant this guy online and we started dating through fb and a friend.
    we just meant today, and he is a complete DRUGG--ADDICT.
    i don't think- i'm willing to date a person who is into drugs. :/
    i really wanna dump him, but i feel real bad ..
    what should i do ? O_O

    -LESSON LEARN-
    Last edited by _bebedreams; 15-08-09 at 06:50 PM.

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    Run. Better now before either of you develop feelings, and before he finds out more about who your friends are, where you live e.t.c.

    ...........................

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    Quote Originally Posted by _bebedreams View Post
    i meant this guy online and we started dating through fb and a friend.
    we just meant today, and he is a complete DRUGG--ADDICT.
    i don't think- i'm willing to date a person who is into drugs. :/
    i really wanna dump him, but i feel real bad ..
    what should i do ? O_O

    -LESSON LEARN-
    My bestfriend pops a couple opiates now and then, but I would NEVER date a drug user and neither should anyone else. Unless the guy is a childhood friend who you know everything about, you simply don't know them and they might become dangerous to be around.

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    I would never date a drug user. Never used drugs in my life and I'm not planning on ever using them. Drug use is destructive to the person using as well as those around them. Being part of the drug culture also carries many dangers because of the criminal types you associate with to buy drugs.

    I would end that immediately and walk away. Not shallow at all in my eyes!

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    run run run. don't look back and don't feel bad.

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    It really is incredible how narrow minded some of you folks seem. I think there needs to be a distinction here, there is a huge difference between someone who smokes a bit of weed, or has a few drinks here and there (yes alcohol is a drug), and someone who shoots up heroin, or smokes methamphetamine.

    I enjoy taking a few puffs in the evening to calm me and help me sleep, I don't drink at all, and don't do any other drugs, not even caffeine, would this present a huge problem to some of you? Why?

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    ^^^^^

    Well, for me personally I can see your point of view, however I don't agree with it. The problem is that while I will admit to the fact that caffeine and alcohol are indeed drugs (as with marijuana), neither of them are illegal.

    Marijuana is illegal. Why would I want to hang out with someone who could put me into a situation where I am going to jail because of their drug use?

    Also, I find anyone who relies on alcohol or other drugs to make themselves "feel good" as someone who obviously has some personal issues. I get sad and depressed sometimes too, but I don't take drugs to make me feel better or to escape reality.

    I'm not a perfect person in any way and I don't want to tell anyone how to live their lives, but that is just my own personal view on the issue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by d_j View Post
    ^^^^^

    Well, for me personally I can see your point of view, however I don't agree with it. The problem is that while I will admit to the fact that caffeine and alcohol are indeed drugs (as with marijuana), neither of them are illegal.

    Marijuana is illegal. Why would I want to hang out with someone who could put me into a situation where I am going to jail because of their drug use?

    Also, I find anyone who relies on alcohol or other drugs to make themselves "feel good" as someone who obviously has some personal issues. I get sad and depressed sometimes too, but I don't take drugs to make me feel better or to escape reality.

    I'm not a perfect person in any way and I don't want to tell anyone how to live their lives, but that is just my own personal view on the issue.
    I predicted this response, and all I have to say is that the legality has very little to do with this conversation. Many people throw this out not realizing that legality and morality are different. (Keep in mind as well, that alcohol is a significantly more powerful, and deadly drug then many illicit ones) The original poster IS being shallow, whether or not you agree with her viewpoint, you guys just seem to be okay with being shallow on this issue. There are very few situations where you would go to jail for someone else's drug use, but if the person puts you in an uncomfortable situation, that is something entirely different to deal with, however it does not sound as if that is the case here; the "drug-addict" is being judged, in my opinion, unfairly.

    I would consider a person who "needs" to drink 4 cups of coffee every morning to be an addict, now does this mean they have a problem?

    I realize this is a sensitive topic which is why I am trying to gently explain where I am coming from. I live in a small hippie town in the mountains, we have VERY little crime, and according to our university over 60% of the population here are heavy cannabis users, and I would consider myself and nearly everyone else I know in this category. The police have their hands full with the drunk drivers and meth heads, so they are somewhat lenient on the herb, and it is then that you realize the penalties for possessing a drug should NOT be more harmful then the drug itself.

    Oh and before someone calls me a lazy pothead, I am a full time student with a full time job, I spend most of my free time outside fly-fishing and snowboarding, and consider my self to be an active member of society.

    Edit: Sorry just one more point. People who rely on a substance to make them feel good or help them to escape reality have moved from use to abuse, I would never allow something to go from enhancing my life, to running it, and chances are if this was the case I would not date someone like that.
    Last edited by Anonyman; 16-08-09 at 07:45 PM.

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    not shallow at all...everyone has deal breakers, and this is a helluva deal breaker - for me.

  10. #10
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    Dump him. No you aren't shallow you have standards.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    no effing way. I see too many of them detoxing to feel remotely interested in dating one, and I wouldn't dream of feeling guilty about it. They are disgusting and very needy individuals.

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    Why would you want to get involved with a drug addict? Are you that desperate?

    Imagine your future with him? Great one eh?

    You'd be shallow if you wouldn't dump him.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
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    dating via fb isn't considered dating at all.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    considering a person who isn't good-looking in reality isn't shallow. i had no idea he was a drug addict and you don't gotta be desparate to date one.

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    i wouldn't call it dating.. but just a checking thing..YEEEEEEEEEE KNO.. `

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