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Thread: thin line between attraction/friendship/or being polite

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    2

    thin line between attraction/friendship/or being polite

    Hi there,

    i really hope, at least one of you has an advice for my but i am also looking forward to reading your 2cents.

    I have a new coworker and he is really really cute, and i'm pretty sure that his girlfriend is feeling the same way.

    When we met he was sitting there with his alpha male attitude, and i couldnt stand him. I ignored him for a while. Then they gave him the desk vis a vis of mine and we started a really good small talk and surprisingly we tuned to the same wavelength. Since that time we are kind of inseparable.
    We spend every break that we are having together and use every minute during work to talk to each other. We talk about alot of things i usually would discuss with close friends, but we aren't really "friends" though it feels like we would know each others all along.
    Normally i would exchange cell# so that we can hang together but i don't wanna be to pushy.

    so and here are some facts/question which i hope will help you to advice me by.

    1) Everytime when we see each other we actually gaze upon each other and prolonge the moment as typical. We are so lost in time and lost in space, that some other guys in the office already started joking.

    2) When i say/ask something to everybody around he is the first one who replies

    3) We already made some "oh really you are into that... let's do that together" fictional appointments.
    He asked me if i could help him with a survey (private stuff) and if it would be ok, when he would send it via mail and if i could correct it, and send it back. I suggested that it would be easier when we work that out both together.
    He said, that that would be the best solution but he was not sure if i would agree cause we don't know each other by a long shot and he wasn't sure if i was just polite when we talk to each other! HOW STUPID!!!!!


    4) We fooled around and he managed it to ask me in a playful harmless way for my cell nr. than he instantly called to check if i wasnt joking. (That was just great, cause i really felt that he should have it...just in case i was puzzled and challenged how i could do that without looking/feeling stupid)

    BUT

    5) He's avoiding body contact, no actually he never comes into contact with me except he is touched by me, which is often )
    He doesn't seem to be bothered or he's polite enough not to jump to the side.
    I noticed that i started to mirror his actions like licking my lips but as far as i can tell i've never seen him reflecting mine.

    6) Most of the time when we are having face to face conversation he is standing crossed armed.

    so whats your take on the situation?
    Remember he has a girlfriend.
    My other coworkers also like him, so i am not the only one whos talking with him.
    Is he expecting me to call him? I wouldn't do that... GF=> let sleeping dogs lie.

    HOW COULD I DISTINGUISH IF HE WANTS TO BE MY NEW BEST FRIEND OR MY NEW BOY FRIEND?

    anybody?

    thx in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Australia
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    Only judging by what you wrote, he's interested in you, but he's keeping back (no body contact, arms crossed) for two possible reasons: his girlfriend, and the fact that you're a coworker. It's that straightforward.
    Maybe he wants to flirt and enjoy your company, but nothing else beyond that.

    If you want to let the sleeping dogs lie, as you put it, you don't need to distinguish whether he wants to be your boyfriend... he's already somebody's boyfriend.

    What do you want from him, though? Do you want things to stay as they are? Do you want to get intimate with him?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    He's got a girlfriend, find someone who's available
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2
    Hi MiSSleepy,

    first of all thanks for your quick and straightforward reply.

    When i said, "i would like to let sleeping dogs lie"
    i meant his girlfriend, it's my explanation why i would never call him cause i dont want him to explain his girlfriend who i am, why i am calling and so on cause there is no (business) need to have his number. And he didn't call me so far, and no i am asking myself if he is expecting me to call.

    I can assure you when it comes to him, i really would like to awaken those poochies.

    But you are right, he's already somebody's boyfriend, and maybe he is just polite(in a really strange way) and likes my company and i am too euphoric.
    But in my defence i have to say that i never asked him to join me here and there or for his number... i cant deny i'd love too, but i didn't do it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    He could be just testing the waters seeing if you are a potential backup. Whatever it is, it's unhealthy so let it go. Treat him as a friend without any slight hints at anything else. You are in a workplace, keep it professional.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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