breaking up over threesome suggestions?

[Mish]

but the fact that he has done this three times and it clearly was a great experience for him makes me feel very insecure about my ability to live up to his fantasies. He said during our breakup that he didn't want to do this with me, but I worry that if we are together 2 or 3 years from now and the "lust" portion of the relationship has worn off he will find me boring and either cheat on me or dump me....

I think this is probably at the heart of this matter. You should tell him this and see what his response is.

[flora]

I think this is probably at the heart of this matter. You should tell him this and see what his response is.

Yes, I thought about that....but I don't know if I'd trust his response right now. He has indicated that he is pretty infatuated with me, and he seems to be pretty thrilled to have me back. He may either be so caught up in his emotions that he couldn't see this possibility, or would say anything he thought I wanted to hear. I am thinking maybe I should wait a bit until he's settled down and then bring up this discussion?

[elfen31]

You are being insecure. Instead of just squishing that feeling, though, and treating it like it doesn't deserve notice, you should really look at it. What this tells me is that this guy's level of sexual adventuresomeness is a dealbreaker for you. While you might be judged harshly for that by some people, it is what it is and I think you should pay attention to it.

The question you have to ask yourself is, do you love him in spite of this hang up he has.

[Mish]

Yes, I thought about that....but I don't know if I'd trust his response right now. He has indicated that he is pretty infatuated with me, and he seems to be pretty thrilled to have me back. He may either be so caught up in his emotions that he couldn't see this possibility, or would say anything he thought I wanted to hear. I am thinking maybe I should wait a bit until he's settled down and then bring up this discussion?

Later on you may find it more difficult to bring it up because with time your feelings will grow and it will become more difficult to find the "right time". I think now you have a good opportunity to get it over and done with and explain to him in no uncertain terms that you are only taking him back if he forfeits this desire. Let him know that this is your deal break and if he is taking you back then he accepts this part of the agreement.

[Gigabitch]

I wonder if he would be so enthusiastic about a MFM threesome. Maybe that suggestion would show him how it feels.

[flora]

I had a talk with him about it. He said that's in his past and he would never/doesn't want to do that with me, yada, yada, yada. I don't necessarily believe that though because of how much he brought it up previously. I have done things in past relationships that I enjoyed but wouldn't want to do again but I don't bring them up with my curent partner.

I wonder if he would be so enthusiastic about a MFM threesome. Maybe that suggestion would show him how it feels.

Also, that's one of the things that REALLY bothers me about the whole thing..... He told me how he stopped dating a woman once because she told him she had been in a MFM threesome. He felt that she was "too wild"!

I came to the conclusion that its, obviously, not just the threesome that bothers me, its an underlying element of his outlook and personality. He is not athletic, doesn't have a good job, is not particulary strong or attractive, and seems sensitive about failing to appear "masculine" enough. For as much as he talks about women, ex-lovers and sex, I think deep down inside he is a nice, yet insecure guy who is trying to bolster his ego by being some kind of "sexual god". What's sad is, the blend of insecurity and raging ego actually makes him less attractive, both in and out of bed.

He is funny and smart and while I enjoy his company, I can't get past these issues. So now I get to figure out how to politely stop seeing him for the second time in a month!! Not fun!

[Gigabitch]

Dear John,

While I feel that you are a truly nice man and I find you extremely attractive, I can't help but blame you for the wild urges your masculine sexiness has aroused in me. I find myself constantly fantasizing about being in the middle of a football huddle, stark naked. I can't explain it- I was never like this before. It must have been those suggestions you made about threesomes. They have awakened a side of me I never knew existed, and this new side requires attention.

I'm going to the Navy barracks now, but thought I should let you know first in case you're interested in joining me.

love and kisses,

Flora

[flora]

Ha ha ha!

I love it!

[elfen31]

I wonder if he would be so enthusiastic about a MFM threesome. Maybe that suggestion would show him how it feels.

I agree...it's like anal sex....if guys were on the receiving end they wouldn't be so enthusiastic lol

[DoesntMatter]

lol, Gigas got the right idea

But yeah, threesomes seem REALLY hot