So, it's been a while...

[Cain]

It's been a while since I've posted anything here. I kind of stopped doing it and just decided to handle my issues on my own. However, there's something that I kind of want opinions on. Nothing major.

Most of you that know me knew that I was in a relationship. That ended over a month ago. So, I've been enjoying life and being single. Recently, however, I started talking to a girl that was single. I actually developed a little crush on her, but she ended up working things out with an ex of hers and they got back together. I knew they were talking while we were talking, but that wasn't a big deal.

The issue now is that I know she likes me. I know she's crushing on me. I also know that she's confused. She's avoiding telling me much, because she says she doesn't want to talk about it. The impression that I get is that she's confused and is having doubts about things because of me. She doesn't want to stop hanging out with me, but she thinks maybe a week of no contact and then just concentrating on other things might help her figure out what she needs to do. I don't really want that.

I like the girl. I'm not going to try and get her to cheat. I'm not going to try and get her to break up with her bf. My entire intention was to hang out with her and have fun. If she liked me and wanted to end things with her bf on her own terms, fine. But I won't make her.

This whole thing started because when I jokingly told her that she should introduce me to some of her single, attractive friends if she had any she got bothered. She got angry. And she shouldn't have since we aren't together and she has a bf. That's when she realized she was actually crushing on me.

Opinion?

PS... isn't it odd for me to post something normal?

[Cain]

She sounds immature.

Problems with this girl:

1. She got back with her ex
2. She's jealous of you liking other girls
3. She's confused if she likes you or her ex

Now to keep hanging out with her or not? Chances are this girl is going to breakup with her ex for the same reasons they broke up the first time. Probably won't take too long either. Now if you're still friends with her when she does breakup I wouldn't be surprised if she starts pursuing you.

The rebound guy...

I'm not really sure where maturity comes in.

She got back with her ex when we were still barely talking. We had only hung out a couple of times and conversation wasn't serious. It was little conversations and hanging out after that that I guess started to get her to like me.

Yeah, she appears jealous about me being with another girl. And that goes with the confusion about what to do. I think she really does want to figure out what it is that she wants to do.

I don't necessarily think this would qualify as a rebound. If they break up, it might be because of the reasons before... or it might be because she realizes that he isn't what she wants. Before me, she never doubted things. Now, however, she does. I didn't do anything to try and convince her. All I did was show her that she can have standards.

[CocoChanel]

Girls Girls Girls Girls
Girls you do adoreeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

[CocoChanel]

Are you sure you didn't know she was crushing on you before you asked her that. Some of you males tend to do that just to see the girls reaction. No offense but you seem like that type.

[Cain]

Are you sure you didn't know she was crushing on you before you asked her that. Some of you males tend to do that just to see the girls reaction. No offense but you seem like that type.

I thought she liked me, but I didn't know it was to that extent.

I did it as a way to gauge interest so I could see if it was worth keeping interest in. I didn't actually intend to make her really jealous. If so I would have waited until we went to the bar together and just started talking to girls in front of her.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

She's confused and doesnt even know what she wants. Next thing she'll be tagging you both along on her confusion journey. What I think she needs to do is be single and stop playing with her bf and your emotions because she is unsure of what she wants, but is hurting people in the process(maybe not you, but the bf).

[Cain]

For reference, this is the third time they've been together. He's cheated on her in the past. He's not an innocent bystander.

[Mish]

It sounds like too many issues to deal with. I've ended things with single girls I liked with less issues than this. Something that's been on my mind lately is a quote from someone I read a while back, "The balance and dynamic for the relationship is determined from the very beginning, a turbulent beginning will set a turbulent relationship".

[Cain]

Less issues? One issue. Confusion. It's a pretty damn normal thing.

I don't understand how LF has gotten so predictable in their postings lately. Where's my meat? Indi, Giga, Sombra, Fras, CBII, get the **** in here.

[Junket]

I'd say it depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for anyway.

Committed and serious?

Lax and fun?

Why not cut some contact and see if she comes runnin'?

Doesn't sound like you have much invested in her anyway.

And I doubt her 3rd time getting back together with this guy is gonna last.

[Cain]

I'd say it depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for anyway.

Committed and serious?

Lax and fun?

Why not cut some contact and see if she comes runnin'?

Doesn't sound like you have much invested in her anyway.

And I doubt her 3rd time getting back together with this guy is gonna last.

Yeah, I don't think it'll last. They will eventually break up. The question becomes when.

I like the girl. I've been having relaxed and fun relationships since my last one ended, but I'm actually interested in this girl. Due to their past issues, I'm not too concerned with her having doubts due to me.

[Mish]

Issue 1 The ex

She has unfinished business demonstrated by her readiness to continue her relationship with her ex, it doesn't matter how turbulent their relationship is she has chosen him over you meaning that her feelings for him are stronger than they are for you. Meaning you will have to fight an uphill battle to win her over and even if you do win her over it doesn't mean that her feelings for her ex will automatically disappear. It will only mean that she will hide them until she is ready to revisit them again.

Issue 2 Her personality

Why is she back with her ex, but still wants to be around you and to lead you on? Does that create a picture of someone trustworthy? Or someone who can't make up her mind and is open to transgressions? I will leave that up to you to decide

Issue 3 Secrecy

Have you asked yourself why she is avoiding telling you much? In my experience people are secretive because they have something to hide. And something to hide for her can be something little or something big like the depth of her feelings for her ex.

Issue 4 No contact proposed by her

Why do people ask for no contact? Usually, so they can take a couple of steps back and review their own feelings, in most cases it makes it easier to get a breath of fresh air and on that second breath move on.

By all means Cain, you can try, but like I said it's too many issues and you will find yourself fighting a losing battle (even if you win). I know it hurts to not get what we want, but in this case not getting her might be a good thing for you.

[misombra]

history between two people will more than likely take priority over a crush. she probably does like you, but she's attached to this guy.

you should tell her to call you when it's over with that guy. pushing it will mess it all up.

will you listen to me this time? idk.

[Cain]

If she decides that she wants to keep pursuing things with him after what he's done to her then that's her loss. Not mine.

I'm still talking to other girls. I'm not putting things into this basket. I won't stop hanging out with her. I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing. I like the girl. That's it. If we stopped talking right now then I wouldn't be upset over it. If I start to actually gain feelings for her then I'll take the steps that I need to.

According to her, it's not just a crush. She likes me. And she's said that she never had doubts about anything until me.

She's trying to do the right thing. I've got no issues with it yet.

[misombra]

well why do you even ask if you already made up your mind on what you're gonna do?