Still single after all these years

[MikeL]

So I'm age 24 and still never been on a date and no serious relationship.. I did fall into a odd one (involved a 37 year old women) But I ended it because of the age gap.

I'm a to myself type of person I'm not the type of person that would go to a bar to look to pick up women the last few years because it seems like my young looking face seems to be not helping things I've been letting my hair grow out I don't know if it helps or not or what but I don't put that much effort into looking for any women like I used to.

I thought about trying a dating service but I don't know if it's worth spending that amount of money on something like that.. then I have my mother always reminding me "don't forget I want to be a grandmother one day" stuff..

I'd like to find someone near my age but that seems impossible... because they still like to party or they already have 2+ kids... I feel like I wont get married by my target age of 32 at the rate it seems to be going here... Is it really true about each part of the country has a less/harder time of finding women to date?

I still say the most signs (I think it was something good) I used to ride the train about 5 months ago and a nice looking female would always board facing me..by the few times she did she caught me glancing at her she caught that and she would do the same when she thought I was not looking or I would catch her doing the same.. The bad was my ride was pretty short... and it was before her that I got off but I had planed to go into the city one day and start up some small talk but it's unknown if she was not working at the same job or not because I never saw her again.

[josh930]

Try online dating. eharmony or something like that. If your a little shy, thats the best bet. Its a little easier to break the ice and you have a profile you can look at before you even talk to them to see if you have the same intrests

[MikeL]

So that seems to be the best thing to try out at least for now? I've been signed up for eHarmony for awhile but never went forth of spending the money yet because I know how some sites like to hype stuff and after you pay you hardly get any matches.

[bloodtippedrose]

Ive never tried online dating so I don't know if its worth the money.

Dont pick chicks up at bars. They probably have problems or are immature

I feel you on that party and kid thing. I went on craigslist to see what kindve girls make themselves available and they all were either fat, really ugly, had kids or liked to party. In my situation I didnt want to be with someone that drank or partied but it seemed impossible to find someone my age that didnt drink. I just about gave up and stopped looking for guys. Eventually at work I met a perfect guy and the funny think is i wasnt looking.

the train is a cute place to meet people. It's easy to scope out who's riding single. When i ride the train from wa to cali and back again I would be single and by myself and i seemed alot more up for meeting people then i usually am. One guy across from me asked if i wanted to listen to his ipod which i thought was freaking weird but another guy told me if i watched his crap while he went the bathroom he would watch mine and said "we have to stick together!" i thought it was cute. Problem with the train that is the people you meet never seem to be heading anywhere close to you so its hard to form a date. Even though the train is a good flirting environment I wouldn't suggest taking a trip strictly to meet girls, too much of a gamble

You should stick to what you love to do and meet girls through that. For example if you love reading then spend more time at barnes and noble. Of course if you love comic books or video games youre a bit screwed cuz the few girls that go to those events get hit on alot or theyre ugly.

if you want to find girls that arent the partying kinda type maybe you should try volunteering. Alot of wholesome, sweet, caring and cute girls volunteer and find it really cute when young guys do too. You can volunteer at a church too if you're a religious lunatic -_-

I find the best place to meet people is to work with them. A place they see you regularly and you can make judgments on their personality before you get to know them. Plus you can gradually flirt with them because you know you'll see them again.

anyway good luck. If it makes you feel better get a brand new haircut always makes me feel more attractive

[MikeL]

Yeah the train was nice but like you said my stop was before hers and I only had 3 stops between the time she got on and the time it was for me to leave.

I had planned to volunteer my time at a animal shelter maybe I should look into that a little more.

I still have a good 10 trip train ticket I can use at no cost for me.. I had planned to use it on Monday's to ride.. If I did see her on the train I would say hello.. funny thing is that the first real sign I've ever seen when someone says you can flirt with your eyes.

Also another thing.. (me and my mom disagree on this)

So my mom says the guy should go after the girl but I think the girl should go after the girl (does not leave me guessing) or you can share the feeling what do you think?

[bloodtippedrose]

chances you will see the same girl on the train is slim to none :/
train girls are practice flirts


as far as who should go after who its natural in nature for the girl to be the pursued and the man to be the pursuer.

Especially if you look at it from an evolutionary psychologists point of view:
~who has the stronger sex drive?
men, because men can spread their genes to other females while the female nurses and incubates one infant
~what are woman attracted to in men?
healthy, mature, dominant, bold, and affluent. This connotes a capacity to to support and protect them and the offspring
~what are men attracted to in woman?
healthy, fertile-appearing woman with smooth skin and youthful shape suggesting many child bearing years to come and a better chance of the mans genes to survive

People dont think about WHY they love nice sized boobs on chicks or that sexy arm bulge on men but we do, because in our unconscious mind the boobs can produce milk and the muscle of a guy can protect.

theres different points of views on why we all think like we do but this one makes sense to me.

[MikeL]

Well you do have a point I wont say I'm shy when I know the person well but I tend to be a introvert. When in groups and most likey sitting at a table or whatever I hardly say much which always leads to jokes.

Also I'm not much of a large breast guy heck B cups would be good enough for me!

on a quick thing about breasts.. more times I've noticed women who have somewhat low cut or loose fitting shirts on when they bend down (most always in front of me facing me you can pretty much get a good view. I wonder if they knew that or is it just unintentional..

[CocoChanel]

WHat the hell is wrong with you kid?

[Nina_Fogg]

I agree bars are not the best place to look for a girlfriend. There are lots of other dating sites besides eHarmony that cost less. That might be a good way to meet people near you....make sure you specifiy near you. Even Yahoo has a personals section by geographic location.

Online dating could give you some courage to approach more women.

Then add volunteering at places you enjoy, and like the other post said, doing things you enjoy doing and looking for opportunities to meet people there. And not just single people, remember married people have single friends! :-)

good luck,

[CocoChanel]

It's all about location.

[MikeL]

A little update.. Still single..

However this short story leads up to what happened today..

For awhile now since like late Jan/Feb of 2010 I was in the food store and I happen to walk past the pharmacy area.. and in the corner of my eye I saw this girl who looked like she went to high school with me, So to make a long story short I was right! I was shopping in the same store today and as I was coming out of a aisle she was walking up to my right.. I was kinda shocked and she smiled and I said hi (albit pretty weakly)

I have a feeling she is shy only because she's never really been outspoken that I remember in HS she used to give me all these glancing looks which can be deceiving. I have no doubt in my mind she remember who I was just as I remember who she was..

I felt kinda bad because I haven't shaved and I felt and looked a little scruffy

In the event that she is still shy how can you get her to speak more? I wish I could talk to her more but most of the time she is in the pharmacy.

[DulceReina]

I'm in the same boat. I've never had a bf in my life (i'm 24), only guys that come and go. I am seriously starting to think that the problem might be me. I am too shy, no wonder men never approach me. My goal to be married by 30 is way out the window.

Dating services seem to work well for some. Give it a try, you'll never know if you don't try.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm going to bump this so some of the guys like Mish can comment. I think there are ways you can say hello, even to strangers in supermarkets w/o coming off as creepy.

My guy friends found girlfriends through hobbies and activities that involve other people. Lots of people here seem to like meetup.com, which is free and isn't a dating site. Its an online activity calendar based on area. Check it out.

[SirWagginston]

Don't use eHarmony. OkCupid is superior to almost every other dating website, and it is free.

[MikeL]

I'm going to bump this so some of the guys like Mish can comment. I think there are ways you can say hello, even to strangers in supermarkets w/o coming off as creepy.

My guy friends found girlfriends through hobbies and activities that involve other people. Lots of people here seem to like meetup.com, which is free and isn't a dating site. Its an online activity calendar based on area. Check it out.

I don't think she sees me as creepy I did go back yesterday but I forgot the pharmacy is closed, she has all the mannerisms I'm looking for I will throw her a few things and listen for feedback