I REALLY messed up!!

[MishkaLe'Ace]

Hey there everyone, I have done something truly unforgiveable...
I have known my two friends for a little over six years. I will call one Jessie and the other one James. James hooked up with Jessie the day before I met them. I got a crush on James the day I met him, but I kept my mouth shut. We all hung out all the time and had a lot of fun together.
Time drug us apart and it seemed the only time I got a call from Jessie was for a ride or something, so we stopped talking for a long time. I found out that the two of them had two kids together. I had also found out that they fight ALL THE TIME, and Jessie calls the cops regularly even when they are just arguing.
Well, he works at a tattoo shop and I needed a temporary tat drawn on me for a competition so I went and saw him...
He then invited me to come to the bar sometime and see the old group. I agreed and about a week later him and I and one other our old friend hung out at the bar. Jessie did not attend.
We had a great time bullshittin and then I drove him home.... He tried to kiss me. I was sad that he would do that and said no. He had been drinking and him and Jessie had been fighting... I told him it was not right, and he gave me a hug and left.
Jessie then got pissed off at ME thinking I tried somethin with him since we were out so late.
I sent her a couple messages saying I would never allow myself to be break up the two of them and that it has been Jessie and James for 6 years now and that I would "never allow myself to be the one to ruin that."

I am sure you can all see where this is going...

He calls me up a day or so later cause he wants to talk. So, I start hanging out with him and talking like we used to. We are in such similar situations that we truly connect...and we connect on so many other levels that we had not known.
He soon broke up with Jessie and for some reason I could not help but hang out with him. I was so happy and we connected so well. I kept telling myself it was innocent, but soon after he started trying to kiss me. I still refused to though, but could not stay away....

Then, one night, it was raining and we went out to the balcony...it was perfect. We were lost in each other. We kissed and it was more perfect than either of us could have imagined. We stood out there for almost an hour just holding each other, laughing, and kissing....We even confessed our long time crushes to each other. Apparently he had developed a crush for me when we first met also, but could not act upon it...

Another week has gone by and we are with each other every day. We get along SOOOO well...We have not taken it any farther than kissing, and he does not pressure me.

HOW THE HELL DID I ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN!!??!!???! What do I do!?!?!?! PLEASE HELP ME!!!

[girl68]

How old is he?

You do realize Jessie being the mother of his children is going to be nothing but drama...drama...drama.

What the hell should you do? Accept my wishes of "goodluck".

*yikes*

[carl1222]

I can only imagine the havoc you will wreak when Jessie finds out you are humping (yes, it's only a matter of time) her 6 year b/f and babydaddy times two! And you're supposed to be her friend????

Put your hormones back in your panties and find a less complicated boyfriend.

Carl.

[Disillusioned]

If you can acknowledge your fault, you have to be careful not to go overboard with guilt. I know what it can be like to get lost in the moment and make a mistake. You're responsible for your own actions so don't let yourself off the hook but you have to forgive yourself for being human when you inevitably bite the bullet. You're going to have enough of a crapstorm to deal with being thrown at you so write down where you feel you were at fault...seriously ask yourself what really happened between them (as best you can guess) what happened between the two of you, what about it was a mistake and why was it a mistake. Seriously, even if you feel you're being condescending to yourself, break it down as a problem and start solving it for your own sake of guilt or remorse. By solving it I don't mean emotionally, I mean knowing the consequences of your actions and how you can possibly make up for it (if that's possible) or at least how you can control the damage to the best of your ability.

Sounds like you really screwed up. Coudos for being able to admit it and acknowledge it, it'll be a real test of your emotional ability to try to balance the situation objectively. Like I said, don't let yourself off the hook but remember it takes two to tango so even if you were coming on to him really hard (which it doesn't sound like), it can only be 50% your fault. Not that it makes your side of the fault any less but if you're going to be knee deep, he should be neck deep so he might make excuses and try to put the blame on you. By the same note he's responsible for his own actions too. Let her deal with him, and then let her deal with you, after all, you may be good freinds but you aren't the one going out with her. He also screwed up big time. That's no excuse though.

[carl1222]

If you can acknowledge your fault, you have to be careful not to go overboard with guilt. I know what it can be like to get lost in the moment and make a mistake. You're responsible for your own actions so don't let yourself off the hook but you have to forgive yourself for being human when you inevitably bite the bullet. You're going to have enough of a crapstorm to deal with being thrown at you so write down where you feel you were at fault...seriously ask yourself what really happened between them (as best you can guess) what happened between the two of you, what about it was a mistake and why was it a mistake. Seriously, even if you feel you're being condescending to yourself, break it down as a problem and start solving it for your own sake of guilt or remorse. By solving it I don't mean emotionally, I mean knowing the consequences of your actions and how you can possibly make up for it (if that's possible) or at least how you can control the damage to the best of your ability.

Sounds like you really screwed up. Coudos for being able to admit it and acknowledge it, it'll be a real test of your emotional ability to try to balance the situation objectively. Like I said, don't let yourself off the hook but remember it takes two to tango so even if you were coming on to him really hard (which it doesn't sound like), it can only be 50% your fault. Not that it makes your side of the fault any less but if you're going to be knee deep, he should be neck deep so he might make excuses and try to put the blame on you. By the same note he's responsible for his own actions too. Let her deal with him, and then let her deal with you, after all, you may be good freinds but you aren't the one going out with her. He also screwed up big time. That's no excuse though.

Ummm ... they are still seeing each other every day, Disillusioned. It does her no good to acknowledge and deal with her mistake if she keeps making it!

Carl.

[MishkaLe'Ace]

He is 28. He was quite aggressive after the first time he tried to kiss me, but he has not made any further moves since then. All we do is kiss a lot.

I have been wracking my brain about this...
I am not lusting him. Honestly I have never been a very sexual girl...in fact that has been a problem for me...anywayz, the point is we get along so well, we always have but never took it any further. Now we have taken one step and it is great...But, maybe just too late. Damn, why does god give you a heart AND a brain.

Jessie and I were never too close to start with. As I said she used me more for rides than anything. I don't want to hurt her though.

What will I regret more...not following my heart after a 6 year crush...or dating my friends babies daddy. Either way, I think I am screwed huh?