did she cheat

[jdram]

Last week while out at a bar with friends I was introduced to one of my girlfriends coworkers. By the end of the night I was really feeling strange about the vibes they put out to each other, but i shrugged it off as I had a few drinks in me. Skip to this week...last night she went to a bar with friends and i stayed home. I couldn't help but think about this situation and i thought I was crazy for thinking about it. After a few hours had passed (about the time she would normally come home on a weeknight) I decided to drive the the apartments which he lived at. (When i met this other guy last week we discussed how he lived in the same complex as we had before.) I had a general idea of where his building was. I circled the complex once and felt like an idiot...she was not there. As i pulled out of the gate I saw her car pull in and she was alone and on the phone. It was dark and she didn't see me. I doubled back but was not tailing her. I pulled over in a secluded spot and called her...three times no answer. At this point i don't know where in the complex she was so i started to circle the lot, but then my phone rang so i answered and we talked... through the conversation this is the end product..."She is still at the bar and is going to hang with her friends until they are ready to leave but she doesn't know what time that would be" I tell her i love her and then say goodbye. Turning the corner her car is headed towards my direction. I pass and just after we cross she pulls into a spot (this is two seconds after she lied on the phone to me). immediatly i park the car and approach her she acts supprised as you would imagine. Q: I say what are you doing A:"going home" Q:Why are you at this apartment A: "I was visiting a friend" (who says i am visiting someone?) Long story short she says we have to leave but we continue to argue and she won't say who. I never let her know of who i suspect and she finally admits later that night at the house that it was the coworker. What is killing me inside is how she won't admit she was cheating. She says that she was only going to hang out with him, she had never been there before, she was not on the phone when she pulled into the complex, & he had no idea she was stopping by. This morning she admitted she text him to ask if she could stop by. However she had said he didn't know she was coming and her phone history was conveniently deleted. I understand if i sound controlling but i never accused her of these things i just followed my gut feelings and God did I want to be wrong. So now i am waiting to look at cell phone records as our phone plan is under her name. I just want her to admit she is cheating. she denies it and says that she is afraid to tell me that she was going to hang out with a guy without me around. This relationship is going on 5+ years and we have talked kids marriage and buying a home. Please any advice i am broken

[Gigabitch]

This is not the kind of thing a girl does when she's serious about marriage, kids and buying a home. Actions speak louder than words. Whether she cheated or not, she lied and got totally busted doing it.

Don't second guess that gut instinct that tells you something is going on. I think you're right, and I think this is a big deal.

[DarkAzrael]

Yeah.... she's cheating on you bigtime. Let me ask you this, if you reversed the situation and you were headed over toa female coworker's place at night and lying to her telling her that you were out with friends at a bar, would you be cheating on her?

That's not the kind of thing a faithful girl does. Dump her and do it quick before you make a huge mistake.

[Bumble_bee]

how bloody annoying that she will not fess up....

[junior14]

ok i agree and dis agree with some people above

in my opinion i would say look i want to know if you cheated if you want any chance of saving this relationship for the kids sake and if she wont fess up then unfortionatily for your kids i would be saying have a nice life .. sorry to say but your story honestly hurt me too but give her the chance for the kids

[Mish]

It's hard to say. You know that she lied to you and that she didn't want you to know that she was visiting her co-worker. But outside that anything could have happened, she could've been cheating or it could've been friendly, you won't know.

[CocoChanel]

Yeah she doing it and doing it well.

[DarkAzrael]

Yeah.. sure... it could have been friendly....

I routinely lie to any woman I am with about being out with friends while sneaking to a female coworker's place at night... and it's completely innocent. We just knit and bake cookies....

By the way, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I am trying to get rid of if you are interested...