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Thread: How do you make up when he acts like nothings happened?

  1. #1
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    How do you make up when he acts like nothings happened?

    Hi I was dating this guy for a few months he was really a great guy, handsome, kind , smart and treated me great. We met eachother's friends spent loads of time together but often it was in the company of friends and family. I wanted to spend a bit more time alone but when I brought up the subject of our dating he started saying .... why lables ...we are such good friends...if you want to see others that is okay! Really! I had wanted to spend more alone time and yes we had been intimate not often but great when we did and could spend time alone. So I thought its over ....felt used and well... what he said then was the opposite of the way he treated me previously or since. weirdly he stayed in touch said he was the one with problems and couldn't talk about it He even texted me asking if I was angry???? and another time saying a friend mentioned we had a disagreement and he wasn't aware of it???? . I decided he must just want a friendship and decided he was a good enough person that I would like that . But as time as gone on he has contacted me less and less and more and more by electronic means not meeting up or calling and because we never talked things through more and more distant and awkward . All along he has been the one to inititiate contact not I but it has obviously become less and not as enjoyable and if he gives me another weekly or bi-weekly call telling me "how busy he is " I'll choke today, even though he has made things abstract and unclear I finally decided to tell him I agree with his decision and it was for the best . He immediatly counters WHat decision and why is it for the best? I know he knows... am I supposed to explain it. NOT Responding is rude but it has been 6 weeks I haven't seen him for at least 3 and we haven't dated since 'the talk' and are now talking maybe once a week as opposed to 3x a day. I would say we have broken up. So why the hell is he acting like nothing has happened ? Should I respond or just ignore it? Yes, I want him back (but it also makes me angry that he acts as if we are not together when his friends my friends all thought we were ? I mean we were seeing eachother 3x a week talking all the time the romance was definitely active . SO why is he pretending and how do I initate no contact and move on when he acts like we haven't changed when obviously we have ! HELP Oh and now he basically contact me via IM's and email .

  2. #2
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    I was involved with a woman once, actually lasted for about a year. She kept trying to frame it as "relationship" I would always correct her and say it wasn't. We had many mutual friends, family who considered us an item. I never saw it as more then a conveince during a transitionary period in my life.

    I later ended it and found a woman I married.

  3. #3
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    LOL your message is so cut and dry so I would like to frankly ask... if you were upfront that it was a casual relationship with her? In mine... to be honest I'm not the chasing kind so that is what confuses me . He chased and even after that conversation insisted on keeping in contact. I was fine to just drop it he is the one that doesn't want to and signals have been very mixed i.e. he says 'I complete him' that he considers me his best friend and yet doesn't act like a friend insists on paying and despite saying that I could date was immediatly over here wondering where and who I was with the first time I was out when he called. I think he's just confused and playing games I just don't know to respond. He's basically a great person I would be happy to keep him in my life as a freind but the communication seems blocked. And the fact that there is awkwardness and tangible chemistry its obvious there is or was feelings on both sides.

  4. #4
    Junket's Avatar
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    Why don't you end all contact?

    Sounds like deep down you really want him to come around and change his mind, but the reality as you know it, is that he wants to keep his options open while he dates you.

    He's toying with you and you're getting all tied up in it.

  5. #5
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    Actually, I have not contacted other than the message today which botherd . Basically he initiates and has less and less really as time goes by. Do you think I should block him from IM's FB Skype. Since I wanted him as a friend after he continued to do nice things after the "non-breakup" I feel like an idiot blocking and showing him he botherd me. In the past, I only blocked people I wished not to have in my life at all. And yes he is toying and being indecisive... what I really want is the opportunity to talk it out either repair and start again or be friends. Its different than normal dating for me because we spent a long time becoming good friends and I'd hate to lose that. Yet here I am unable to respond to his stupid email Your right I'm tied up and hate it.

  6. #6
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    You'll never be proper friends again.

    Not with most guys, and definitely not with this one.

    That's just how it is.

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