Very unhappy

[girl68]

And her continual refusal to seek help is what? Encouraging for him to keep working?

...negative.

And speaking from personal experience yes, I do know how religion plays on ones life.

[IndiReloaded]

Girl, you don't allow for the fact that this woman is clearly irrational, except to suggest to give up. But there are other predictable outcomes. For example: I predict that, with the OP moved out, she will rethink her position and start to open communication.

Just because she wasn't talking doesn't mean she will continue to do so in future.

Or, perhaps her behaviour is calculated to make him leave & initiate divorce. Get a mistress so she has an excuse never to sleep with him again. Who knows? In which case he is heading the right direction. So what harm in trying to see if counselling might help? Much benefit, certainly from his family's long term perspective.

It is so easy to give up. Much harder to actually explore other avenues of solution before going to that extreme. Particularly when children are involved. It may be impossible in this situation, granted, but perhaps some counselling should happen first. As I have already pointed out, its clear that Stu wants his marriage to work.

Speaking of reading comprehension, I didn't ask about your religious experience. I asked if you are currently married?

EDIT - Stu, here is a link to Catholic Marriage Counselling. I am sure there are others online if you search, but this fellow seems well-qualified if he checks out. You can do phone counselling, which might be good. IMO, there isn't much benefit to physically being with the counsellor provided you & your wife can sit together to take the call:

[url]http://www.peaceinthefamily.org/phone.htm[/url]

[girl68]

Girl, you don't allow for the fact that this woman is clearly irrational,

Being religious does not equal being irrational. There are many more people that have the very same beliefs (men included).

[IndiReloaded]

I see. Its not my reading comprehension that is in question.

At no point in this thread did I say that religious = irrational. But I still think her behaviour is irrational.

I notice you don't wish to answer my question. Interesting.

[misombra]

us catholics are a stubborn bunch.

i think if you leave this woman she will do one of two things. 1. she will see the errors of her ways and start giving it up. 2. she will have wanted you to leave and her wish will have come true.

and if you have an affair the sadness will go straight to anger. doesn't sound like you want to go that route. but if you don't get sex, it will eventually get there.

you have to make a move. talk to the priest or one of the counselors at the church and do whatever you can to solve this.

btw my whole family is catholic and a lot of them are divorced. no wait, most of them are divorced.

[girl68]

I notice you don't wish to answer my question. Interesting.

I do not wish becasue I think such a question is irrelevant to my advice thus far.

[IndiReloaded]

I do not wish becasue I think such a question is irrelevant to my advice thus far.

Of course. Not married or divorced. Thanks.

[Stuart2]

I believe her behavior actually DOES reflect the official stance of the Catholic church, and I've known other women who have taken it to heart this way. I doubt this is related to an affair.

In any case, will the Church require pastoral counseling before you divorce? I believe they will. That may be your best opportunity for help.

Another thought, Stuart: when you were having sex with your wife, was she having orgasms routinely? It would be a lot harder to give up something so pleasureable...

I certainly think she was... at least I hope so Yes, I'm pretty sure of it.

[girl68]

Of course. Not married or divorced. Thanks.

Ah, bow to queen bitch? I've been through a divorce on many sides albeit not divorced. Assume you know where I come from- but you do not.

[IndiReloaded]

Temper, temper. The only one resorting to childish insults is you.

You seem to really have a problem with someone expressing an opinion different from yours, Girl. Might want to work on that. Perhaps you could also stand some counselling?

But yes, lets just send Stu to the lawyers stat. No effort toward an alternate solution. Misery for his family, but money for the lawyers. Terrific advice.

[girl68]

Temper, temper.

You seem to really have a problem with someone expressing an opinion different from yours, Girl. Might want to work on that.

Sweetie-Indi-Pie, calling you a bitch is hardly temper- at least not in my books.

It's not your opinion I have a problem with, it is the fact that you come here with all this knowledge blah blah blah about how a marriage works. Sure you're married- so I'm not. That hardly means that I have no good sound advice to offer. You seem to think I know nothing about relationships just because I'm not married. You'd be wrong. I've seen marriages fall apart right in front of my eyes- Yeah, I know a thing or two.

Sure- tell me I need counselling because I called you "queen B"... Nah.

[misombra]

omg you guys need to stop.

[IndiReloaded]

Sweetie-Indi-Pie, calling you a bitch is hardly temper- at least not in my books.

It's not your opinion I have a problem with, it is the fact that you come here with all this knowledge blah blah blah about how a marriage works. Sure you're married- so I'm not. That hardly means that I have no good sound advice to offer. You seem to think I know nothing about relationships just because I'm not married. You'd be wrong. I've seen marriages fall apart right in front of my eyes- Yeah, I know a thing or two.

Sure- tell me I need counselling because I called you "queen B"... Nah.

Yes. I can well imagine that calling someone 'bitch' is not close to the end of your abilities in this area.

Wow. You are so right. People who have never been married must know so much more about it than those who are. I'm sure the fact you have 'seen' marriages fall apart must mean you know so much more compared to those actually experiencing it.

I remind you, again girl (very apt name, btw) we are discussing a MAN'S FAMILY. One he loves and doesn't want broken apart, in case you missed that part of the thread with your incredible reading comprehension. He mentions it in the first post, in case you'd like to go back and re-read it.

Anyway, you are certainly entitled to express your opinion. Just like I am entitled to explain why more a more mature personality might handle the situation differently. Shrug.

[IndiReloaded]

omg you guys need to stop.

I should have left this thread a page back. My point is made, thx Miso. I agree with your other post, btw.

[Stuart2]

I am going to see our priest tomorrow, on my own, as a last ditch appeal for help. I have told her how much I adore her, fancy her so she knows I still desire her.

Although I am moving out on Monday I have made a string of promises to her assuring her I am not going out straight away to have sex. But I start to wonder what promises am I getting back? Nothing.

I am hoping against hope for some breakthrough advice from our priest.