Is there any chance that...

[ahoy]

...me and my ex-girlfriend will get back together?

We split up a few days ago because she felt that I was her only focus and she felt claustrophobic, also that she felt like we were already settling down. We'd only been going out for just over 8months.

I agree with her on the points she made now, but at the time when she told me I didn't realise what she meant and it confused me... I do need another focus apart from her and I plan to do something about it.

The way we left it, or she left it was "At the moment we both just need some space away from each other. I want to stay friends and keep in touch I can't block you out of my life, we'll just see how things go!"

She'll be going to uni soon and will be back around Christmas time... We also both agreed that we'd meet up when she was back. At the time I didn't really think anything of it, but as I've had time to think it got me wondering... Is there hope maybe when she's back that we could get back together?

I just feel so right with her I love her so much! Even though its my first relationship I was so happy and it felt perfect. I keep telling myself that I should not hold onto what she said and keep my options open because anything could happen! likewise for her.

She said it would take a long time for her to get over the break-up and she won't be looking for a relationship straight away. I'll see her at Christmas. Maybe if I change in that time and show her that I'm more independent then she might look at me in a different light.

She obviously still cares about me and wants to keep in touch and agreed to meet up, What does everybody think?

Thanks!

[FullofSighs]

Well christmas is a long ways away, a lot can happen in that time, your feelings about her can change drastically, by christmas time you might have found another girl that you lik ejust as much and end up getting with her, or vice versa. Your best option is to probably wait it out till christmas time, try to talk to her, and if both of you still don't have another relationship maybe you can get back together. But you don't want it to turn into an LDR!

[ahoy]

Thanks for the advice you're right and have been thinking the same. I really feel there is hope! Whats an LDR?

[Nad]

I don't think breaking up would be a the best idea, you could easily sort it out. Why not try and have a set time you can see eachother a week? Maybe not a set time, but try and split things apart so she can go our regularly with her friends and get her Uni work done as well as being able to see you. If you live close to her Uni, maybe ssometimes just spend the night with her if you're only seeing eachother 2-3 times a week so you get that extra time together, but at the same time, you're not getting in the way of her life and other oppertunities she may have.

What's making her feel you're already settling down? Try not to cover things with talk about the future, kids and marriage. Try going out clubbing or other activites that she'd feel that she's still young and eventhough she loves you and has you, that she doesn't have to set her life around you. Pressure is a big thing and it's effected me a lot, when I've been effected by it I've only realised, grown up and learned from that mistake after I've gone through all the motions. Try and see if she's feeling pressured, talk out what you can do to ease it for her.

A LDR is a long distance relationship I'm guessing, which can be hard, but if you adjust to them properly, can be worked through.

[ahoy]

I honestly think something could happen, she is such an honest person and not the type to sleep around! I suggested the same thing you just said and asked if we could give it another go but she said "At the moment we both just need some space away from each other. I want to stay friends and keep in touch I can't block you out of my life, we'll just see how things go!"

I really don't understand why she is feeling that, I asked her and she couldn't really explain it and said she just felt that way, maybe because I was a bit full on?? We never spoke about marriage and kids, but obviously we mentioned stuff in the future that we could do, like holidays. We actually went away together twice this year, it was a once in a life time experience!!

I feel I made quite an impression on her and the relationship was amazing, we never had a fight! It all ended so friendly and makes me have a feeling about this.

[ahoy]

I emailed her today because it was going round and round in my head to what she really meant when she said "At the moment we both need a bit of space, we'll just see how things go" I just had to know I was going crazy! And the response I got was better than I thought

So I asked her "Did you mean see how it goes with us in time or that's it, its over??"

she replied "No I meant that at the moment we need space and that's where we are now. I think you are reading into it abit too much and I do understand but it's impossible to plan what happens in the future and just got to takes things as they are and see how they go"

I also asked her about meeting up and whether she really meant that she wanted to and she replied "When you talk about meeting up for a drink, of course I meant it, there's nothing wrong with that anyway. But as you say we don't know what changes will happen between that time so it's best just to see at the time instead of planning as such."

I feel a lot happier than I did earlier today, I know I still shouldn't hold onto it too much and keep my options open! We both agreed that we don't know what's going to happen between now and when she is back. But its only 3 months! She said it will take her a while to get over this and likewise for me.

I'm just going to give her space now and not contact her much at all that way she knows I respect her. I don't feel like I need to ask her anything else about the relationship. I don't intend to bring any of it up again until we meet. I think the best way to go about it, is just to be friendly with her.

What does everybody think?

[girl68]

LAY OFF. Yes, please do as you say... lay the hell off.

You sound like a crazy girl who smothers the hell out of her bf. And that's damn well annoying.

Ok you've made the right decision. Just chill live your life. Don't "wait" for christmas.

[ahoy]

Anyone else got views on this? Will be much appreciated!

Thanks

[FullofSighs]

Yeah, maybe email her once in a while just show she knows you still care for her and that you have not completely shut her off from her life, but not so much that she is all your life