Freshly Dumped, What should I Do

[melbone_psu]

Hey Everyone. Im sorry about the length of this entry but I really need some advise on what to do. My girlfriend and I go to the same college, and have been goin out for six months. During the summer, she lives in PA, and I live in CT. Even though it is very tough being so far apart, I feel as though, the distance has strengthened my feelings for her. Since she didnt have access to a car, I took every opertunity I had to go down and visit her. We called each other everyday, and things were good. Until about a month ago, when I felt as though she was becoming more and more distant from me. Conversations now only lasted about 10 minutes as opposed to hour and a half conversations we used to have. And finally, two fridays ago, she called me and said she had to stop being unfair with me. She used the distance factor and said that she didnt feel the same way she did earlier in our relationship. She hinted at the fact that we may be able to get back together when we go back to school, but I dont know if she was just saying that to make me feel better. She also said that she still wants me to call her often during the summer. Now this past week and a half, I have been an absolute wreck. Every waking minute, I am thinking about her, and how good she made me feel throughout our relationship. I have been trying the no contact thing, and it seems to help me sometimes, but other times, I cant stand it. I want to call so bad, and I dont want her to feel as though I dont care about her. But I'm thinkin that If I do call, I will only be reminding myself of her, and possibly making things worse. I dont want to ruin our chances of getting back together, so I dont know what to do, call her, or not, talk about the future, or just create small talk. Im really stuck.

[swimmingNreverie]

I am typically a firm believer in the "don't call b/c it will A)make them want you, or B)make it easier for you" philosophy. And sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But after my last relationship I've come to realize that you can't stop how you feel. Feelings will change with time, not because you make them go away. If you guys are still on decent terms even though you're not dating, and you're suffering because you haven't talked to her in a while, just call to say hey. But you have to make sure you don't have any expectations. If you know you're going to call her with ANY expectation in your head at all, then don't call because you will most likely get off the phone more upset than you were before.

I called my ex the other day. I had been debating ALL day about whether I should call. Ever since our break up, if we've spoken its been him getting in touch with me. But the calls get less frequent since we don't live near each other, and we're not together anymore, and I can admit it, I think he's moved on. But I was really down the other day, and missed him, and thinking about whether I should or shouldn't call him just brought me down even more. Then once I decided I was just going to call him, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But I honestly called with no expectations. So it was a good casual convo, and that was all. And even though nothing came from it, I was happy afterwards, just because I spoke with him.

So don't make your decision based on the effect it will have on her. Make the decision based on how it will make YOU feel.

Hope this helps a little. Good luck with everything

[blue]

time heals all wounds and you know what your in college and right now its time to study hard and play hard. There are many fish in the sea and like i said time heals all wounds. Try to go hang out with friends or sign up for some fun courses where you can meet new people. have fun! be cool, and you never know in the future if you two want to talk about being in a relationship again then go for it.

[PandaCivic]

been there done that. mine ended in a bad way. i used to only live like 4 blocks away from a girl i used to go out with. i would pick her up when i go out, and she did the same. i found out i had to move and she didn't enjoy that idea. i promised her i would call her this and that, convos became shorter, visits became scarce, interest pretty much just seemed like we were going out only because we 'had to' not cuz we wanted to. i think the best thing for you now is to end this relationship and hope that you both are still friends. maybe later in the future you will get back together, maybe not. but don't hold on to this relationship. you'll be in it for the wrong reasons. it usually ends in disaster and you can never fix that heart of yours once that happens. stay happy and find it within yourself to smile.